I have a toddler who is 4 in a few months. Since January this year, I went from having a child who went to bed at a reasonable time and slept in his bed till 7/8am, he also listened to an extent and was a lot easier to handle. Now, I have a child who will make any excuse not to go to bed, which means we are usually up until midnight still telling him he needs to go to bed, and he just refuses to listen no matter what the consequence. Not to mention, once he is asleep, at whatever time, he wakes within 2 hours and then every hour after that, trying to get into my bed, which I refuse to allow because that definitely means an even worse sleep for me.

I read my child a book every night before bed, because that’s what I love and he enjoys it to.

I always send my son back to his bed, and I have tried, sitting in his room, closing the door, no communication and tucking back in, allowing him to sleep on the floor in his room, I am at my wits end, not only that but I am sure 4-6 hours of sleep a night for my almost 4 year old who won’t nap during the day is not good, and for me, who also has a 1 year old during the day (who sleeps perfectly) I am absolutely exhausted and getting extremely depressed. It also does not help that he will not listen to me during the day, to the point where I ask at least 5 times before going crazy, and then he starts to smile and give me a nasty look as to say “haha, got you right where I want you”, I do not like to leave my house with him because I cannot control him, and I don’t lose it in public because I don’t think anyone should have to witness my son behaving so terribly that his mother needs to put on an even bigger show. At home, I have tried, sending him to his room for a set amount of time (mostly to calm me down), making him sit on a chair until he can tell me what he thinks he has done wrong, I have tried just ignoring him, doesn’t work, and every time I do talk to him, I get down to his level and make eye contact (once he poked at my eyes).

I have seeked help with my local health professional through a service called Kaleidoscope, I have called countless “experts” and they have told me I have tried all that they would advise. I am also sick of being told, “he is just a kid, kids will be kids and he will grow out of it eventually, you just have to ride it out”, I have been dealing with this for 11 months, whilst breastfeeding and trying to be a stay at home mum with two kids.

I am tired, and my partner tries to help as best as he can but even he doesn’t know what we can do.

I would rather not get up in the morning because I just wake up and then instantly am in a bad mood and just want to go to sleep.

I have had breaks to have “me” time, but once that time is over, I am back to square one.

Please tell me I am not the only one, and that there is a reason…. because I feel like everybody thinks I am just a bad mother who needs to get over it.

And, I don’t hit (smack or whatever), because I do not believe it to be an effective method and I don’t like the idea of teaching my children that hitting is okay if you think someone is being naughty.


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  • My younger relative has kids who won’t sleep. She is on the waiting list to see a paediatrician about it

  • I have a friend with a five year old who gad these issues. She ended up seeing a paediatrician for help. He prescribed melatonin or seratonin, not sure what, but he’s sleeping through the night, in bed early too

  • My so is 6 and he is the same, we use a night light on the wall you can get one that has a dim blueish glow it looks like a moon on the wall, you can get it from the kmart toy area. That has helped him settle heaps as when he wakes up he can look around and see there is nothing to worry about and self settle. We also use a lavender pray in his room at night as it is meant to help soothe them.

  • hopefully things are sorted? maybe just a phase. tried a different pillow? comforter? warm milk? music? gro clock? sounds like your on the ball seeking advice so well done. hope you all getting more sleep.

  • I feel your pain… My 3 1/2 year old has pretty much not slept a a whole night through from birth. He procrastinates going to bed some nights until after midnight and then if and when he does go to bed he will come into my bed every night around 1-2am. I don’t know why he keeps doing this, he doesn’t have nightmares or anything most times he just comes in to sleep with me. This impacts on my sleep and is getting unbearable. I spoke to our GP about it and we have been referred onto a paediatrician as they said there can be many contributing factors. He is a very hyperactive child too so i don’t know how he isn’t tired enough to sleep through!

  • Try not to let your kid sleep during day times sometimes that really helps. Putting light music also have helped me lot with my little girl.

  • I would try a rewards chart that requires so many good days and then gets a reward also a naughty mat may be a great idea. If doing something wrong he needs to sit on it for a few mins and also taking away privileges no sleep = no tv etc but the good behaviour also needs rewarded giving praise were needed etc hope this helps

  • ok we have a little boy at my sons kinder whom is doing the same thing my advice to mum was ( which worked for a week but she gave up).
    Put your son back to bed with no talking.
    then the more he gets up the more you do it dont ay good night/ or im getting angry as this is what he wants.
    know we did this but our son was much younger get a hock type screw ( the ones that looks like a Question Mark and some string Put the hock on the door frame and tiy the string to the door on the out side for both make it long enough so the door can open but he can not get out and the other end of the string tie a loop and hock it over the hock (screw) . This will help him stop getting up.
    Take all toys and tv ( if he has one) out of hes room only leave a night light and hes teddy he take to bed.
    i know it seems extreme but its a game he is playing and he needs to learn that you are the parent and “the boss”.
    Once he gets out less and less you can go to not using the string in the door. Once a sleep to unhock the string
    good luck

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