Hello!

My 3 year old refuses to toilet train.  She will wear undies during the day but refuses to go to the toilet until I put a nappy back on her. I’ve tried not putting a nappy on her but she just won’t go to the toilet she tells me she is scared.  I’ve tried and tried reassuring her that there is nothing to be scared of but she still refuses to go. Any advice?


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  • putting a cheerio or a few petals in the water and making a game of her trying to aim her wee on them. Sometimes having a break from it and taking the pressure off. she will get there eventually.


  • Consistency is the key.. keep doing it, one day it will happen, each kid takes his or her own time


  • Have you tried roll play with a doll? Or have you tried a potty instead of the toilet to begin with? She might just be scared of the big toilet?? If possible, avoid nappies all together or make it clear that they are just for nap time or bed time. She might have a few accidents in the meantime, but she’ll learn quickly that it’s better to go to the toilet than have an accident. Also, don’t panic when it looks like she needs to go or is having an accident. Kids pick up on our anxiety about these things and think it’s something to be frightened about. The accidents aren’t actually that bad – particularly if you limit them to hard flooring areas while toilet training. If she has an accident, just say “oops, you had an accident and wet your pants. Did you feel the wee trying to come out first? Next time when you get that feeling, why don’t we try the toilet/potty together. Mummy will come and help you. Now lets get you cleaned up”…..Don’t shame them during the process, but just explain what steps they should have taken instead. Hope this helps!


  • My eldest went through the same phase. We had to sit opposite him in the toilet and encourage him to go. Once he was comfortable going we backed further and further out until he no longer needed us. Now if we dare interrupt him, we get a stern talking too haha. Best of luck


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