I’ve been there with both my Mum & mother in law at the same time. It can be hard but once they are gone you can look back and be proud that you were there for them and the quality time you had with them. Always ask for help from siblings and other family members. Sometimes they have no idea just how much you are doing.

Yes I have been through the same thing and its tiring and you always feeling guilty that you cant be there as much for them as you would like as you have your own family too. Its good if you have family like a sister or brother that can also help. But my eldest sister refused to help me or my parents as she kept saying to me oh you live the closest so you do it which didnt help my stress and anxiety.

In addition to my comments below about the importance of self care; it is important with limited time for self care to schedule it in a calendar. I find that by using a calendar and diary to schedule in self care makes this time happen; even list the activity and check if off.

Aw bless, it is a lot and you can feel stretched. Good on you for caring for your elderly parents !
My mum lives in the Netherlands, so I’m not directly involved myself, but my three sisters living in the Netherlands are. My dad passed away a couple of years ago from lung cancer and my sister (who is an Intensive Care nurse) took time off from work to take on the care. After his death my mum started to suffer from Alzheimer’s and each if my sisters take part in the care whilst community nurses are also involved. But we’ve reached the point that it becomes unsafe and are in the process of moving her to a nursing home, sadly unvoluntary. One thing to keep in mind I think is that it is not for ever. Also seek out if your parents have the right on any formal supports besides the care you provide

Yes! I feel you! I was asked by my mum to check in on my dad a couple of times over the weekend while she was away. I love my dad more than anything and of course made time for it but between dropping kids at work, sports and outings and then returning to pick them all up my visits were short. I felt guilty that I couldn’t do more and then run down and exhausted at the end of the day! Thankfully I have a very understanding husband who helps as much as he can and doesn’t worry if things at home get behind. It’s a tough balancing act. Definitely make time for yourself because if you aren’t taking care of yourself then how can you be expected to take care of everyone else.

I have not gone through this myself but i have a few friends who are going through this and I see the burnout they have trying to juggle everything. There needs to be more help available for families as we are going through a time where a lot of the baby boomers are getting to this age and need extra support from family.

I can relate to where you are. My kids are adults now, but looking after my mum, and dad as her carer, while they were younger was tough. I was (and still am) reminded that we are not able to care for others if we are not healthy, and caring for yourself. Be gentle with yourself.

It is indeed not something that is spoken about when younger. It is however; a very real thing and it can be exhausting when caring for everyone. It is really so very important to take good care of self at all times; both mentally and physically. It is essential to link into carer supports and to use resources and to also get help when needed.

I went through this many years ago and I remember feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. My days were a blur but I kept going, always trying to do my best. After my parents both passed I felt sad, still do. I cherish that time I spent looking after them and I would do it all again just to have them back with me. I guess what I’m trying to say is that as difficult as it all seems right now, it won’t always be like this. I hope this message helps in some way.