I think this might be a conversation that needs to be had between you and your husband. I can honestly say – we have have been there. My daughter started playing basketball at aged 10. This grew from a social game once a week to playing locally, district and state representative. The costs are phenomenal. We had to budget $15,000 per year for travel, subs, uniforms, one on one training etc and we were only home one night per week (Thursday’s). Added to this we live in a regional area so it was a 3 hour round trip each night/day for games and training creating huge fuel bills. After 6 years our daughter has pulled back and did not want to do state anymore. We too had thoughts of all the time and money that we had put into supporting her but I looked at it from another point of view and thought we really did have some great times and should be grateful for that. Lots of fun interstate road trips, plane trips with her team to the Gold Coast and NSW, so many great memories. The dedication to the sport has now transferred into her part time job after school. She has a fantastic work ethic and is a confident young lady which I can honestly attest to the long crazy hours that were invested in sport. Support your son on whatever decision he makes. if he still loves it, let him play or if he wants to explore other passions, let him do that too. I don’t think any expense is wasted on sport as it helps them in other aspects of their lives too.

Wowsers, come on dad, your ment to be supportive. Yes things cost money, but everything costs money. If that’s what your son truly wants to do then let him do it. Dad needs to chill though.

Speak to your son and ask him if he genuinely wants to play the sport. If he loves it and wants to continue then dad should not be there while he plays as it puts too much pressure on him. If he wants to give it up, let him. It’s not worth it to have him under so much stress. You should also talk to dad about the way he puts too much pressure on your son.

Kids feel so much pressure from everything these days. His father’s negative attitude is not going to help at all. And won’t be something your son ever forgets.

I think as a teenager your son should be the one to decide if he plays the sport or not. And I agree with the comment below about your son’s dad.

To be honest I find dad’s response with ‘constantly telling his son off for all the time and expenses that have been wasted’ is rather toxic !

Sometimes parents can have high expectations of their kids. They need to remember they’re just kids and being alive, healthy and happy are things which should be the most important over being the best at XYZ…
Maybe get the dad to watch that Disney movie, Turning Red as this totally reminds me of it and the pressures parents put on their kids!

I would ask my son if he still wanted to continue with the sport and winning isn’t the reason for playing sports in the first place. As long as they’re enjoying it should be all that matters. Your husband needs to pull his head in. He’s probably one of those yelling parents on the sidelines and that’s completely unacceptable! Sounds like he’s got a problem. Sit him down and tell him he’s not going to your son’s sports anymore. I find his attitude disturbing. But ask your son first before even approaching the father.

I’m sorry but that sounds like a poor attitude on Dad’s behalf that I would be pulling him up on ASAP. Punishing your kids for trying their hardest is a sure fire way for your kids to develop anxiety around trying new things and the fear of failure. Please reassure your son that you understand he tried his hardest and encourage him to continue if he feels he wants to. I love competitive sport for children as I believe having a drive to do something plus learning to lose are essential, though parents attitudes can ruin it for everyone.

That’s very sad, the pressure to perform can be so funest.
I agree, have a chat with dad and son.
Try to find out what your son wants; does he like the sport ? does he want to continue or discontinue ? How are his feelings towards his relationship with his dad ?
I would discuss with the dad how his behaviour impacts his son and if he’s aware of that.

Are you and the Dad still together? This really sounds like a poor attitude on Dad’s part. If your son is enjoying it, regardless of what he achieves, then that should be enough.

Have a hard talk with the Dad. Unacceptable.
Have a good talk with your son and ask him what he wants.

To put it bluntly, their father needs therapy. Imagine being a kid and walking on eggshells because you’re afraid your dad is going to go off at you. To feel like you’ve failed in his eyes because you didn’t meet his athletic expectations. If your kids want to continue their current sport you need to take over the parent role and tell your husband to back off until he can control himself. Or find something else that they like separate to his interests.

I am so sorry this is happening to your son. The father should not be doing this, putting a kid down because he didn’t make it to state is unacceptable and will affect him for life. Have you spoken to the father to see why he puts his son down and speaks to him in this way? I would be of the same opinion and would take my child out too. Kids go through enough in life and don’t need parents yelling at them over things like this. I am sure your son did his best – not everyone can make it to state for sports.