Sorry for your loss mom486197 ! Personally, I would aim to be as open as possible and let her know of the death of your loved one in simple, clear words. By this age, children start to understand that death is a final thing. Use simple wording like dead, death or died, rather than “he/she had gone to sleep or passed away. Maybe this is the first confrontation with death, but often there have been previous experiences with death. I started talking about death when our pet rabbit, guinea pig and mice died. And we buried the pets in the garden and made a wee cross with sticks. But you could even introduce the concept of death at a young age by talking about a dead insect.

All I can say is to be honest.
I was 4 when my granddad passed away and Gran insisted that I not be told because I would get “Upset” and she didnt want me upset. I was told that Granddad had gone on a holiday. There were lots of whispers and as a 4yr old I was very confused as to why Granddad would go on holiday with out us as we always went together. Christmas came and he didnt come back. I asked about this and adults gave each other looks that I saw but they told me they didnt know when he was coming back. Then holiday time came for us and I was excited because Granddad would be there but he wasnt. My birthday came and no Granddad and not even a card from him. I worked out that I must have done something wrong. It must have been very bad for Granddad to be so angry with me that he had gone away. Everytime we went to my Grans I would sit on the front step that looked up the road because I knew when he came bacvk he would walk down the road and then I could run to him and tell him I was sorry. I never said anything to anyone because why would I want them to know how bad I was. I sat on that doorstep looking up the road for years. When I was 12 my Gran got annoyed with me one day because she had to keep pushing past me and she asked why I had to always sit there. I told her I was waiting for Granddad to come home. Thats when the truth came out and I was devistated. Everyone I loved had lied to me. I learned to distrust.
Please just be honest and dont try and protect your children from death. Yes they might get upset but that sounds like a pretty reasonable reaction to the loss of someone you love.

Firstly, I’m very sorry for your loss! I think it’s actually a good thing that you are letting your daughter hear your conversations with others as it lets her slowly learn and pick up on what’s happening and how others grieve and handle these life experiences. I think depending on how close the family member was and if she’s seems to be handling it okay you can be the judge. Kids at that age are very resilient and often unaware of the full impact and can just carry on without too much interference I think just be there for her if she has any questions.
Wishing you all the best