I have two amazing children, but I feel myself losing my temper and in tears quite often. I know I’m tired but I’m struggling at times – my husband is wonderful but I still find it hard. Any tips on how to manage parenthood better?

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  • I feel you! The best advice is sleep. You can manage things better. Also, and this is tough, trying to get time to yourself.

  • Some time away, even just a few hours on your own to focus on just you, it will help. I was the same, but I basically did it all on my own with minimal input from my partner. I felt used and overwhelmed so I sometimes reacted badly to my kids. I hope the positives outweigh the negatives though

  • I constantly feel that way. is it just part of being a parent??

  • You are pobably trying to do and be to much for your family. I know when young gt myself in tizzy tht everything had to be done, e,g house cleaned ,ironig done meals etc etc while caring for others. Not expected or neccesary, I am writing this as I still have to learn to slow down at tims, My kids and their partners and families show me I tried to hard and got upset and cranky. Better to have more time with children and family and rest will always be there. My advice is do not be to hard on yourself, enjoy your family as children grow so quick ,

  • Calm down and breathe. Then book yourself into your local gp fir a chat

  • see your doctor, get some help. it is a tough time, especially if you were in paid work, where you were in control… there are mums groups too, and sites like this where mums will empathise and let you know you are not alone. just explain all to your Doc and go from there.

  • Have a chat with your doctor. There may be an underlying issue.
    Aside from that, take some time out for yourself.
    Get hubby to watch the kids for an hour or so while you soak in the tub, take a walk, read a book, go see a movie, something you enjoy.
    Hopefully that little break is enough to refresh you.
    Still see you doctor however.
    I wish you all the best.

  • could you have PND? maybe speak to your gp?

  • If you’ve got a good GP speak to them about how you’re feeling. If they’re good they won’t offer drugs immediately but should give you some practical things to try first. Also, try a visit to a naturopath. Sometimes or hormones and health can play a big part in our mental state and they may be able to offer you some natural alternatives and strategies.
    But you’re totally not alone, I struggle keeping my cool at times and I adore my kids to pieces. I think if you’re having more bad days than good then you might need some extra support. Don’t be afraid to seek it out.

  • speak to your gp AND GET SOME ANTI DEPRESSANTS

  • Yes definitely that’s why i resort to a psychiatrist to help with my temper problems.

  • I have definitely struggled with my temper. I think the best thing to do is to take a deep breath ad count to ten before you react to anything your kids have done. I have also been advised that when I feel like I’m going to yell at the kids to whisper instead.

  • I have been there many times. Usually there is a stressor which isn’t the kids. The kids not listening for me are just the tipping over of my emotions. Perhaps talk with your Doctor about this, and have a general check up. Every mum would have a time in their life when they just need regular time out. I have found a few visits to a psychologist helpful to balance out all the mundane thoughts in my head that can get overwhelming. I come back feeling mellow again. Nothing huge, just schedules, house work, finances, work etc can get us running on empty. So when the kids are at school, kindy, daycare etc go in and book yourself for a full massage to de-stress the muscles.

  • You’re definitely not alone. My little ones (1 & 2 yrs) are beautiful girls but I still find myself feeling the same. I agree with the others that just sharing your experience with other mums helps heaps. I also find that starting each day with a fresh outlook helps (sometimes hard to do when I’ve been up till the early hours). And I don’t know if you pray or not but that also helps me a lot.

  • I think we all feel like this at times so you are not alone. I think being sleep deprived and lacking ‘me’ time definitely contributes to being a cranky pants mummy. I find it helps to share with another mum how you are feeling and somehow you just feel better knowing you are not alone. Don’t be too hard on yourself, even the fact you are concerned means you are a great mummy. I’m sorry I don’t have much of a solution for you, if you find one though let me know (from one cranky mumma to another).

  • This is where friendships with other mothers are great, if you are not part of a mothers group, you get together with other mothers and trade baby sitting for an hour or two and have some down time for yourself. I used to take my little ones to an occasional day care for a few hours so I could shop in peace, go to hairdresser, visit a friend who had not little ones, or go to a movie. I lived far from family so there was no grandma to give me time out. You may also know someone who would like to become a grandma to your little ones.

  • You have not said how old the kids are – if pre school age, even a trip to the park can be wrought with frustrations – try going with a friend, or join a playgroup – dont be negative with them, if they won’t pick up their toys, for instance, tell them that when the toys are put away, you can all go to the Park, (or some other treat they would like) – dont say :we are not going to the park until you pick up your toys – they will just nag until you go anyway !~
    Good luck – hopefully, you will get some much needed ME time soon.

  • It is alright to cry and loose your temper. That is part of life. My mother never showed her feelings when we were growing up. No arguments etc. When I became a mother, my husband was there but never took responsibility. I was livid. He was working, at nightschool, or studying. Your children need to understand that life isn’t easy. People are all different, and life isn’t a bed of roses, its hard. Let them see you cry and struggle, however if it gets too much, see your doctor or a councillor who can give you adivice. What advice you take is up to you. Another thing I did is to involve my mother and father in their grandchildren. In your case it may be parents, siblings, or friends. It does take some pressure off you. If they can play, or take them for a walk, while you catch up on the household duties (eases your mind) or just have a cup of tea that is give you a bit of space to relax or plan your next moves – it maybe all you need. Cheer up. You will look back on this and probably tell your own children about it.

  • I think this may be a case of you needing to take some time out to relax and restore your energies. If you could find time to go for a 30 minute walk each day, or simply sit in a park somewhere and breathe fresh air for a little while uninterrupted, it would be beneficial. Even having a long bath uninterrupted helps.
    If you are getting some time to yourself and still feeling this way you may need to consult your GP about why you aren’t coping and see if it could be PND. Follow this up now hon, in case it is PND, as it will only get worse, and will affect the memories you have of your children growing up, and stop you from enjoying your life to the fullest.
    Good luck and huge hugs!

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