Just wondering do we all feel strange when we leave our children overnight, we spent our first night away from our children in eight years, felt so strange, I know it should happen more often but we don’t have reliable family, have you ever hired a babysitter overnight?

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  • The first few times yes, I felt the mum guilt so bad. However, after a few times (only been a few hours not overnight) I’ve felt I’ve come home and been a better mum to my son. That time away to relax and recoup is so important for you and your family!

  • Yes! When mine first slept over my parents house I was worried and missing them.
    No matter what, as a patent they’re always on your mind so I think it’s completely normal to feel weird without them around.
    I think also its the lack of noise! The house is always super quiet.

  • Some months ago I left all alone for 5 days (short as possible) to go to a funeral in Europe and left my 4 kids in the care of my husband and support workers. My kids are 17, 16, 12 and 8yrs old, the youngest 2 are foster children both with special needs. It was lovely to be without kids for once, however during my absence there were 2 police interventions with our 12 yr old, so I don’t know if it was so successful. To be honest I can’t be missed in my family and that responsibility weighs heavy on my shoulders. Sadly we had another tragic death in my family and I fly soon to the UK for the funeral and leave my family again (for as short as possible).
    Without children feels maybe weird, but enjoy it when you can !

  • Yes! I actually feel quite anxious when my kids are not home – even after the holidays when they first go back to school etc. My kids ( apart from my eldest who’s a teenager) have only ever stayed at my parents house and even then not very often. Its a strange feeling kind of like I’m missing a part of me – I know I should probably try and enjoy the time to myself but I actually really dont like it lol.

  • Never had an overnight babysitter, but a couple of times either I’ve been away overnight or my husband took the kids away overnight. It’s a combination of blissful peace and weird!

  • It is the weirdest thing. You think and wish you could just have a few minutes to ourselves, and then it happens and all we think and wish for is them to come home. I only left my kids overnight with family

  • I only ever left my daughter overnight with my parents on the odd occasion. I wouldn’t have felt right leaving her with anyone else.

  • The first time I left my older kids overnight they were 5 and 4yrs old. I’ve 2 foster kids; the eldest has been staying overnight by her half aunt, but at this point she isn’t doing well and I’m hestitant to leave her overnight and during the day by someone else, the youngest is a 5yr old girl with Down syndrome, who I never left overnight or during the day by someone else (except for childcare, early intervention and church).
    We have no family living in Australia and no, we never hired a babysitter overnight

  • In my opinion , I don’t like leaving any kids under 2 with anyones care unless it is an emergency situation . I think during this time extra care needs to be taken for supervision , eating and sleeping routines and it is too much of a worry for any mothers to relax and enjoy themselves anyway . Maybe an hour or 2 to go to the shops is less anxious rather than going away long periods.

  • Haha yes, all the time. the first time my partner and I had time to ourselves in quite some time was earlier this year to go away for a friends wedding, and almost the whole time we were talking about the kids.

  • Mine are too young to leave overnight – had anxiety about leaving ms under 2 with sister while I gave birth!

  • I always felt like I am missing a limb when I am without my kids. Like I have forgotten something. We have family to rely on for babysitters so have never hired one. I’m not sure I would be able to do that.

  • Absolutely!
    That is the most common feeling in the world.
    & it doesn’t even have to be overnight, I leave my kids with a family member for a few hours & before I even walk out the door that feeling kicks in!
    I think it’s just part of being a Mum.

  • I have never hired a babysitter overnight, we have been fortunate to leave with the grandparents once or twice. Miss 1 and 4 have had the pleasure of our company for most of their lives. I feel lost without my children, like a piece of me is missing.

  • Yes, always having them there, always doing something for/with them, there’s a big hole when they’re not around. The only over night babysitters we had were family. I would think over night would be a tad exxy. But if you can do it, with reliable person, then go for it. You benefit and so do the kids

  • Yes! They take up so much time, their absence is deafening!! I miss them, especially as I separated from dad. When he has them I feel a sense of loss. So it’s natural, we are their protector, nurturer, friend, guide. They are from us. So just say.
    I miss them. I’m allowed to feel anxious or sad about that and enjoy something you like to do. Like cooking, walking, reading.
    You are normal.

  • Oh yes! join all the other parents who find it had to be away from their children. I seldom went anywhere that I could not take my children. When my three were all school age we had an eight day cruise and the entire time I was thinking how much I missed the children and how much they would have enjoyed it. I could not get back fast enough. They were with my parents and in really good care but still I could never do it again. They grow up so fast! Before you know it they will be off on school camps etc. Then college or university, we have to peel ourselves off them eventually but it is hard even when they are adults!

  • it is weird you get used to kids being around. Yes have hired a baby sitter, but was a young woman friend I knew. There are reputable services around if you do not feel family are reliable. I too have babysat my nephew and nieces when young. Also my new grand kids (my son married a lady with three children) so it was a good way of getting to know each other. Hope you can get kids looked after and you and partner have a good time too.
    I used to work on cruises in child minding centre too

  • Spent my first night away from my youngest last night. He is 20 months. Cried in bed. I was ok with my 3.5 year old having a night away with family as she has done it a couple of times. I missed them both though.

  • My daughter is 12 years old. She just slept away from home 3 nights (1 night in 3 different occasions) in 12 years. Last week she went to school camp for 2 nights. I was nervous, I must admit! :-) But luckily I coped well. My daughter did even better than me and enjoyed the experience. The first time she didn’t sleep at home, I had a terrible night and I couldn’t sleep at all!

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