I think by first listening to herself. Also make time daily for one-on-one time where she gets to tell what you do together and you describe repeat and praise her for what she’s doing whilst joining. Give her the feeling she’s heard and give her the space for choices even when they’re little.
Try to ignore negative behaviour and reinforce positive behaviour.

Gosh it’s hard isn’t it? Just be consistent and decide what are zero tolerances and things you let slide a bit.

time out works well. so does asking them what are they doing, why are they doing it, what should they be doing or saying instead

Agree with the other comments but also start disciplining her in other ways…..the ‘naughty corner’ or ‘time out’ might work.

Have you tried getting down to her level and making eye contact. Ask her to listen with her ears.

maybe try eye contact and a stern voice with time out or a sticker chart