Hello!

Anyone have any advice on what to do, my one year old pinches/scratches me to sleep. She goes for all the soft spots, my neck, soft bits inside my upper arms and the worst, my nipples. Is there anything that has a similar surface I can get her to hold instead? My neck is full of cuts from her pinching and scratching me constantly. It’s her comfort thing but certainly not comfortable for me. If I keep pushing her hands away she just gets grumpy and it makes it worse/harder to get her to sleep.


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  • This sounds incredibly painful. She sounds like she’s using you as a comforter but in a hurtful way. Is she teething or has growing pains? Need go find a alternative to her hurting you for comfort.


  • Hi OP,

    I do know how uncomfortable and irritating that can be. My 1 year old is doing exactly the same! She’d pinch or scratch the same soft spots. She’d also fond of lifting my shirt when we’re lying on the bed and then scratch/pinch my belly and sometimes my belly button too. So I’d just cover my body with a blanket or a big pillow – she’d be grumpy and cry if I do that for but thankfully, she’d eventually forget about it and sleeps by herself.


  • Oww. That sounds painful. Poor mumma. I’d try giving her a lovey, or something similar to hold. Even a soft bodied doll. I hope you can both get some restful sleep times.


  • You need to give her something else to use for comfort. Is she feeding from you at bed as comfort or hunger. Maybe feed her earlier and try a different method to go to sleep, lay in cot and sit with her or teddy?


  • it happend to me. the worst thing is she puts fingers in my ear cannels which sometimes bleeds. i started fake cry. it made her to feel, it took at least 2 weeks to stop. but it will happen


  • Tell her she is hurting you, say ouch a bit louder. Give her something as a replacement eg here’s for bunny to do that mum will hold your hand


  • Tell her that she is hurting you and until she stops, you will be putting her to sleep in her own bed. Ask your doctor for advice. If my son’s did this to me they would get a 1 finger tap on the hand as I said No. Don’t let her get used to doing this to you or she will do it to others as she gets older. It’s a habit you need to break now


  • Allowing her to do what she does to fall asleep, will reinforce the behaviour.


  • Tell her that it is hurting you and that you don’t like it when she does that. Even though she is little she needs to know that punching and hitting hurts. Grab her hand and say “I will not let you scratch me”


  • I would nip it in the bud now and stop her sleeping beside you. Maybe move her to a cot near you. Let her pick a safe toy to take to be with her. There are great ones that make sounds to comfort.


  • Possibly seek some professional advice on how to best comfort your baby.


  • Have you tried a comforter? Or like someone else suggested, put her in her cot and lie next to her.


  • I would look to occupy their hands with something else while getting them to sleep. Maybe a lovely blanket or stuffy their attached to. My 4 month old loves to move his arms and hands around while nursing which can mean he’ll pinch or scratch. I try to hold is arms away for a few seconds to discourage, or see if he will hold something else. Mittens are a last option if he won’t stop any other way. They can leave your skin red raw if you let them.


  • I personally think you should be discouraging this sort of thing. Try getting her to go to sleep in a baby rocking swing or where possible someone else puts her to sleep. The ideal thing is training her to fall asleep in her cot without being rocked. Patting the mattress beside her head can help and making shushing noises.


  • Aw that sounds painful ! I would look into a safe sensory item as substitute


  • Oh my that sounds terrible, I hope you are able to find something to stop this. Consider taking her to buy something at the shop that she can use instead and see if that works. A nice plush toy or one of those comforters. If this doesn’t help, perhaps it might be worth taking to a health professional about what you could do to eliminate this.


  • Consider providing your one-year-old with a soft plush toy or a fabric square to hold onto during sleep as an alternative to pinching and scratching. This may redirect her comfort-seeking behaviour and alleviate discomfort for you.


  • sing a soft song while walking around, and rub one ear. keep eye contact


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