Hello!

Just curious as to when other parents let their child visit a friend’s house alone? I have known some of the school mums (their names and a bit of general chit chat) for nearly two years. The children have just turned 6 to 6 and a half. Some mums are wanting me to have their kids over to my house, we mums are not friends I’d say acquaintances. Is this normal? I sure don’t want my 6 year old on her own at others houses. But I ask myself is it me am I being a helicopter parent is this the new normal? Surely 6 is too young. As when others come over I am babysitting. I feel they can’t be left unsupervised.


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  • It really depends on how well you know the other parents. Some I’d be okay with, others not.


  • I’d have other kids over at my house at that age if the parents were ok with it but I personally wouldn’t let my kids that age go somewhere else on their own.


  • My kids never had sleepovers because there was at least 50kms between them and their best friends.


  • I think if you know the parents fairly well and long term, it’s okay. I would never let my child go to anyone’s house before knowing them for a while. I felt like around 10 was okay for my children to have sleepovers as per the above circumstances. Mine are all teenagers now and I still insist on meeting every parent and coming to drop off and pick them up personally.


  • My daughter had her first sleepover at age 6- we had her little friend over at our house. After a little bit she also slept over at her friend’s. I personally think it’s fine, so long as you feel comfortable.


  • At this age we mostly did playdates at parks and play centres. It wasn’t until they were a little older that they started to go to friends’ houses. However it still depends on the friend, their parents and how well I knew them all. Always trust your gut instinct.


  • It all depends on how well you know the other parents. My children rarely went to other people’s houses, but quite a few of their friends came to our house. I would have thought around 8 though rather than 6yo.


  • Setting up a coffee catch up with a mum or mums is also a good way to get to know the other mums and parents and households and feel more comfortable about making a decision that is right for you and your child.


  • I think it largely depends on how well you know the other parents. There are some parents I was happy to leave my kids with when very young – others, no. And yes, you should supervise when you have other kids around, and yeah, it can feel like low key babysitting.


  • Trust your gut mumma. Safeguarding your child is not helicopter parenting, it is good parenting. They can still have play dates, just go with them and have a cupola with the friend’s parents.


  • Every child is different! I love fostering independence, so if your child is asking to do it, then support them in achieving this! It may not be an immediate success, but that’s OK!


  • Just last weekend my daughter’s friend and her little brother were left with us for an Easter egg hunt (they’re both 4 and the boys 3).
    I was surprised the parents just dropped them off but am happy that they trusted us enough to leave them.
    I think if someone has their own kids the same age, they would treat and look after the kids like their own if left with them.


  • I will be more than happy to have play dates at my house for a while but not entirely sure when I’d feel comfortable having my children go play on their own… it’s sad we think that way but you can’t be too careful


  • Follow your intuition and if it does not feel right than reflect on that feeling and go with it. We have always had to know people well and feel comfortable.


  • It’s a hard call. You have to get to know the parents as best you can first and feel your way. Maybe start with short play dates. I’d be waiting a few more years but that is just me.


  • I find it is the modern normal.

    Personally, I want to know where my child is going. What the home is like and meet the parents.


  • My daughter is 5 and has been having play dates at a friends house since she was 4.5 years old as i know the mums quite well and we all help each other out to allow us to go to appointments etc. I think if you know the mum well it is worth giving it a try even if you sit in your car around the corner with a coffee and allow your child to play for an hour. It is a great learning opportunity for both you and your child and will teach them that it is ok to spend time without you.


  • My twins are 6, and still haven’t had a play date where a parent is not present, even if we know the parents well. I’m not sure if it’s normal or not – but I think setting your own rules with what your comfy with is absolutely valid.


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