Hello!

I have 3 yr old twins, they start kindy next year and my boy twin still won’t do poos in the toilet. His twin sister is great with toilet training but not my son. I’ve tried putting him on the toilet at poo time, putting undies on him to help him want to go to the toilet, tell him he can’t go to school if he doesn’t do poos on the toilet, tell him santa wont be happy, nanna isnt happy, his big brother does poos on the toilet like a big boy. But nothing! Any advice welcome!


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  • My son was 4 when he started to get there but still had quite some poo accidents. Be patient; cheer the successes and no negative comments on the failures.
    I would stop telling him he can’t go to school if he doesn’t do poos on the toilet, tell him santa wont be happy, nanna isnt happy, his big brother does poos on the toilet like a big boy. He is a big boy and everyone should be happy with him whether he does a poo in his pants or not.


  • Many stop threatening with Santa etc and give him a few months grace. A Stickers reward system is always good.


  • My son wouldn’t poo on the toilet or potty because he had only ever done poo standing up since he learned to stand. Its just something you gotta keep at. He will get there when he’s ready.


  • I need help with this too :S


  • Don’t yell or get upset
    Offer the potty or toilet seat
    Sit with them (if room) and talk or sign to take his mind off it.
    The more you yell the worst it gets and don’t buy any more nappies. It sounds harsh but it’s a comfort zone for him.
    Buy cheap underwear and when can rinse them out and re use.


  • We had to get out youngest to go outside 1st thing in the morning (lucky we have land and no neighbours) as he kept missing the toilet and getting the seat/floor as he couldn’t work out how to point it down.
    The oldest lies to read on the toilet (he did this by himself) but once he did either (we or poo) he could put 20cents in the jar and then count the coins at end of week. (He now lives maths to and counting)


  • My oldest son was the same and was closer to 3.5 before it clicked for him. Patience and more patience!


  • I did the potty infront of the tv thing which got them both to the toilet. Wees he does most of the time on the toilet but no poos on potty or toilet


  • Lots of praise and encouragement and rewards for going. Not bribes but rewards lol


  • This might sound slack but I put the potty in front of the TV, once my 3 year old felt comfortable there I moved the potty closer to the toilet and we then went there, and after about another week the potty was gone and we successfully went on the toilet.


  • Praise him, if he does wee’s praise him, he will eventually get the hang of it, but if you say that everyone is not happy with you not doing poo’s than he might become a little upset and might make the matters worse.


  • I dont think fear of the toilet is an issue, He does wees on the toilet, I dont have a problem with him going to the toilet, he doesnt fight me or anything. But i have to remind him to go and he still wont do poos.


  • Maybe the fear is the toilet itself it’s a big hole and kids feel that they may just fall in.
    Try a potty chair and I found that putting Fruit Loops in the toilet and the child use to aim at them … Boys like gross things. (What ever works…) I like the idea of a reward chart but this should involve other tasks as well like putting their shoes away and toys away and books back etc.. Try to be positive about the task at hand. He will get it they all do!


  • It’s better to not put too much pressure on him. It’s hard I know, but threats etc will not make him do it, he must decide in his own time to do it. Boys sometimes take a bit longer than girls and if you keep pressuring him it may take even longer. Start with a reward chart not related to the poos to reward him for other good behaviours, and go from there.


  • I found a rewards chart worked a treat lots of praise


  • Have left him alone without getting him to try poo in the toilet and have had dirty nappies to change lol
    Its like he doesnt care grr lol


  • I have twin boys (4) but yes toilet training was the same as what you have just written one was a breeze and the other refused to do poos on the toilet, main thing is don’t compare him to anyone, I found if just takes time , some just take a little longer to get it than others, lots of praise and encouragement ,and he will get there


  • I had the same issue. My son is 3 1/2 yrs old. I tried everything and one day he just decided to go to the toilet and do it on his own. I had given up and was wondering what else I could do and for about 2 weeks I didn’t do anything. And then – bam – he did it on his own. I figure I was pressuring him too much. If your son can understand what you are saying but just wont do it, maybe just leave it for a week and see if he will do it on his own terms. It turned out that my son was scared of doing a poo in the toilet – I don’t know why but he said it was scary. So I just left it for a couple weeks. We have no issues now…I just have to work on bed time training now, but that’s a big deal right now.


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