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Separation anxiety is a very normal experience during early childhood, usually occurring for a period of time between six months of age and four years old.

Children become attached to their main parents or carers when they learn they can provide the love and attention they need. So when a child is old enough to know that they can be away from their carers, they can begin to worry and have separation anxiety.

In early childhood, your child is only aware of the present so they can’t anticipate being reunited with you and this leaves the child with even more worry. However, this feeling ceases when your child grows older they can grow to understand from past experiences that they will be reunited with you or another carer and so will become more confident when separated.

For the time being, here are some tips that can help you and your child ease separation anxiety.

Have a consistent primary caregiver or nanny

Children can become attached to, and feel safe with more than one person but this usually only occurs with a handful of people that the child is close and spends lots of time with.

If using a nanny or babysitter, try to find one that your child feels safe and comfortable with and stick with that one person. This will minimise your child’s anxiety and worries.

Try a familiar object

Something as simple as ensuring that your child keep a familiar object, either one of theirs, such as their favourite toy or something of yours such as a bag or a handkerchief with your perfume on it, can keep them feeling calm and secure when you’re not there.

Say “goodbye, I love you” each time and don’t look back

Saying something along the lines of “goodbye, I love you” each and every time, allows for your child to gradually understand the concept of rituals, knowing that he or she will see you again and that this is a normal, everyday routine.

Practice separation

Practicing separation can help your child prepare for actually being away from you. Games like hide and seek are great as they’re not only fun but can also build a child’s confidence when by themselves for a period of time.

Reassure your child that they are okay and will see you again soon

Telling your child that they are okay and will see you again soon can help them relax and enjoy the time spent away from you without worrying about whether you’re coming back or not.

  • Must be really hard for kids.

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  • A great read thanks for sharing, i found with both my kids they had it but not a big deal of it as they were in daycare at 6 mths 🙂

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  • Thanks a lot for sharing. I loved reading it. Great article

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  • our daughter has special days out with her daddy or off out and about or visits to my mums house and she is so unphased about me leaving and i get half a wave

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  • Needs to be done as early as possible so they don’t have problems starting school.

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  • Both my kids at one time or other wouldn’t let me go out the door and leave them with their Dad. I had to be very strong and give them lots of cuddles and kisses and tell them I wouldn’t be long,. Now they are much older sometimes they don’t even realise I have gone anywhere until I actually come back!!

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  • Thanks for sharing your great ideas and tips 🙂

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  • We started early with short visits to her grandparents. Now when we leave her there and say goodbye she literally closes the door behind us!

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  • I really agree with the positive way of saying goodbye. I had not issues with my three because I kept a positive and upbeat view of seeing them soon. They always knew I would be back for them.

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  • my son had a hard time when going to preschool some good tips

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  • hardest time is when baby suddenly rejects Dad at 12 months and only wants Mum, my husband found this upsetting. Luckily it dosn’t last long.

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  • Thanks for sharing this 🙂

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  • very good piece , every mother should read this

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  • My niece is going through this right now..might have to pass this on!:)

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  • Really helpful thanks for sharing

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  • My son gets stressed when he can’t see his dad

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  • My boy has just done his first week of daycare last week and the tears and screaming were very bad in morning but when I went to pick him up he was happy, made me feel better!

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  • Daniel Tiger’s Neighbourhood helped my LO with his separation anxiety and with lots of reassurance and practise that we’ll be back.

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  • Three little words like “I love you! ” are so important

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  • I always tell my daughter I love her.

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