Helping an anxious child - Mouths of Mums

When anxious, most people will focus on physical symptoms (ie stomach aches, head spins and so on).

Anxiety is a normal physiological response to unhelpful thoughts. However, it becomes an issue when it is frequent or interferes with progress or enjoyment of life.

If children have an understanding about anxiety and an opportunity to discuss their feelings, this is the first step to relieving some of the stress.

Here are some useful strategies to begin alleviating your childs’ (and your own) anxiety:

Encourage your child to talk about worry or fears. Have a codeword or sign language if they aren’t willing/capable of discussing it at length.
Teach them about anxiety. Let them know it is a natural physical response to thoughts (fight or flight response) and that they can create more positive thought processes to reduce the anxiety.
Help them recognise their anxiety and become empowered. You can do this by asking these questions:
- If you woke tomorrow with no anxiety, what would you do?
- What do you feel might help you?
- If you are anxious, how would your family or teachers know?
Praise progress and encourage disclosure and self-awareness.
Encourage them to do things for other people to shift their focus.
Model positive language and behaviour.
Start a ‘courage journal’. They can either write or draw in this on a regularly basis (daily or weekly), detailing things they have done that have taken courage.

With the help of some psychological and neuroplasticity strategies, your child’s anxiety can be reduced and you can help them feel proud and confident.

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30 Comments

- - ella12 said
  - 21 Feb 2018
    2:18 pm
Some good ideas here, thank you.

- - Lizbef said
  - 10 Feb 2016
    6:48 am
My nephew lives with us and I’ve been feeling as though he may have anxiety. He seems as though he is always on edge. Hopefully this might help

- - Mummytoabeautifulprincess said
  - 09 Feb 2016
    10:09 pm
Great advice. Will have to remember these.

- - mom105503 said
  - 06 Jan 2016
    2:13 pm
Love the idea of the Courage Journal, will definitely give this a go with my little girl.

- - mom81879 said
  - 20 Nov 2015
    10:10 pm
Anxiety is so difficult for grown ups to deal with, and we kinda know what’s going on, I can’t imagine how it must feel for a child

- - smiles said
  - 30 Apr 2015
    2:33 pm
Talking and leaving the lines of communication help children through a lot of problems.

- - matildaspice said
  - 09 Jan 2015
    3:09 pm
Some great tips, thank you.

- - stepmom107932 said
  - 31 Dec 2014
    5:01 pm
I wish i had some one to do this for me when i was a child

- - mom111751 said
  - 30 Dec 2014
    10:57 am
I have a very anxious little 3 year old and am trying to help her work through this. It’s so difficult when she can’t express her feelings well.

- - jacqpot said
  - 28 Oct 2014
    9:59 pm
Hi. If you\’d like to email me at jacqueline@avidityassociation.com.au I\’d be ham apply to give you some strategies for confidence. I also have some blogs on my websites.
http://www.avidityassociation.com.au
And http://www.brainscape.com.au
Regards
Jacq

- - taynik46 said
  - 28 Oct 2014
    9:01 pm
An interesting article. Sometimes my miss 7 is anxious and worried about things and finds it hard to talk about, then she ends up bursting into tears and pouring everything out. While it isn’t anything huge, normally she had a fight with a friend at school and she thinks the next day no one will talk or play with her. It is good to find some suggestions to help her work out her feelings on situations. I especially like the concept of the courage journal and think I will help her create something similar for when she starts at her new school next year. Thanks for the info.

- - mom93821 said
  - 28 Oct 2014
    7:30 pm
Thanks for sharing this thoughtful article with good strategies.

- - Lov'n'Life said
  - 17 Oct 2014
    5:13 pm
do you have any advise on low self esteem? for girls

- - Gurtling said
  - 14 Oct 2014
    1:17 pm
Anxious parent = anxious child = meet me!

- - cloverstorm said
  - 12 Oct 2014
    4:34 am
Some great strategies for children there. Good to keep this in mind.

- - mom73211 said
  - 09 Oct 2014
    2:31 pm
Thanks for the hints – will try and see if they work. Thanks again

- - tam_watters said
  - 09 Oct 2014
    2:09 pm
As a teacher I occasionally encounter children with high anxiety. Your article has given me a better understanding of ways to comfort them.

- - rachkap said
  - 09 Oct 2014
    2:12 am
Thanks for the strategies – I’m sure they’ll be useful.

- - deangunna said
  - 08 Oct 2014
    11:06 pm
Anxiety is a bigger problem than most people realize, I think it varies on severity but it really does cause major issues for some.

- - dee lindsay said
  - 08 Oct 2014
    7:48 pm
I am finding myself in a difficult situation with my granddaughter. My granddaughter has just turned 5 on the 5th Oct. When she was around 6 months old her mother didn’t want anything to do with her. She shared custody with my son. 50/50. We found out that when she had her turn which was for a week, she would put my granddaughter with someone else, then go and pick her up the day she was to come back to my son for his week. She would arrive with the nappy stuck to her little bottom. I would cry seeing this poor little beautiful baby suffering. My son received a phone call from his ex-mother in law saying this little girl needs a parent full time and will you come and get her. So he went and picked her up, went to mediation, during which the mother took off to the other side of the country.

My granddaughter hardly hears from her mother, she never pays her maintenance, hardly has anything to do with her. She is a real beautiful girl. My granddaughter received a call the day after her 5th birthday from her birth mum, spoke for about 3 minutes and hung up on her without saying goodbye. The next day she was sitting in the lounge room all sad, her now mum said “What’s wrong darling”, she replied ‘did you know my other mum’, “No”, ‘did I ever see my other mum’, ” when you were very little sweetie”, ‘ well, I don’t want to talk to her anymore, she makes me sad and makes me cry”. When I heard this it broke my heart. This little girl is just gorgeous, she has nearly finished her first year of school, she is happy, content, usually smiling and laughing all the time. She comes here for sleep-overs at least twice a month to visit her nanny and grumps, whom she loves very much.

My question or problem is, What does my son do? He was given 100% custody through Mediation, but it isn’t through the courts yet, so he doesn’t want to rock the boat. Does he tell the mother, or let his daughter tell her, then he will get the blame.

I am biased, yes, but everyone who has met her says she is a beautiful little girl. What do we do?

from a loving nanny. xxx
- jrob71 replied
  
  08 Oct 2014 , 9:06 pm
  As an anxiety sufferer I’m anxious of passing this on to my girls but don’t want to label them with something that’s not a problem. How do we determine if these kids we suspect have anxiety issues actually do or if they are actually just experiencing normal level of uncertainty?
  
  I have xtarted instigated similar tips to these but there are further tips here that I hope will be useful.
  - jacqpot replied
    
    08 Oct 2014 , 10:15 pm
    
    Hi Ladies. Feel free to email me if you like. I’m going away for a few wks but will try respond as soon as I can. email: jacqueline@avidityassociation.com.au. Regards . Jacq