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Article How to deal with unwanted or unplanned pregnancy

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Unplanned pregnancy can be alarming and life altering news for anyone. At the same time, it can be a life changing experience if taken in the right spirit and attitude.

Thinking about what to do with an unwanted pregnancy? Well, there are always three major choices that can be made:

  1. Continue with the pregnancy and keep the baby.
  2. To end the pregnancy by having an abortion.
  3. Continue with the pregnancy and have the baby adopted.

In order to make a good choice, it is important to talk to people who are trustworthy and are well informed about each process.

You won’t have to make these difficult choices if you prevent such occurrences in the first place.

Choosing abstinence from sex can prevent you from pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Using condoms and contraceptives are the most trusted forms of birth control.

1)  If you decide to end a pregnancy

If you take a decision to abort the baby to end a pregnancy, it is important you have your partner/husband’s consent, or it could lead to disputes later on.

Also, your partner/husband’s support is crucial through the entire process as it will be tough.

Besides the physical strain, you will go through feelings of depression, sorrow and guilt and even conflicts of religious beliefs. Even family members may look down upon you.

It is important to know that you are not alone and that there are lots of women going through the same struggle as you.

Share your thoughts with your partner, a counselor or a close friend whom you trust.

2)  If you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy

If you have decided to go ahead with the pregnancy, it is vital that you have the right attitude towards it. Here are a few ways to train your mind around the idea:

Allow the negative feelings to come and go:

Every woman will feel a sense of shock and anger and even be upset about getting pregnant. It is perfectly healthy and normal to go through these feelings and let go off them when it’s just the right time.

Don’t feel guilty about having them, let these feelings pass. It should be a passing phase. It is important to sort out your emotions as well.

Express your emotions openly with family, friends and loved ones. Talk to a counselor if necessary.

Start focusing your mind on the baby inside you.

Start assessing your immediate needs:

It is important to evaluate and be aware of the necessary steps that need to be taken to care for yourself and the child you are carrying.

The first step would be to consult a doctor. If you are a chain smoker or drink too much, now is the right time to make a wise choice and cut the habit.

If you were eating a lot of junk food until now, you would need to focus on eating healthier food.

Create a good support system:

If you don’t have a good support structure, dealing with an unplanned pregnancy can be difficult.

Use the time to find a good support system filled with people who understand, care and strengthen you at each step.

Take the time to figure out your financial situation, your career standing and your relationships. Discuss with your partner about taking responsibility for the child together.

Gather information and educate yourself:

Empower yourself with key information about all the doubts you have about pregnancy and being a mother.

Use both online resources and the plethora of books available on motherhood and pregnancy.

By being well informed, you will have the confidence to face the challenges of pregnancy and parenting. All the knowledge will keep you ready for the new experiences ahead.

3)  If you decide to have the baby adopted

Though you have at least nine months to make your mind up on this, giving up the baby for adoption has to be a carefully made decision. There are many couples who don’t or can’t have children, and so there is a considerable demand to adopt babies.

Talk to professionals in the field and take a final call on this after discussions with your family and loved ones.

Though the outcome may not always be what you desire, it is important that you do not feel that you are giving up on the baby. You are choosing to give a better life for your child, which you feel you cannot provide.

You place the child into the arms of thankful and loving parents who would take care of the child as their own.

Ultimately, it is all a matter of the choices we make. Surprises like unwanted pregnancies can be avoided if precautionary steps are taken at the right time.

In many cases, you may not be able to prevent what you didn’t predict.  In such scenarios, your attitude and decisions can change the course of your life. Choose wisely!

* All opinions expressed in this article are that of the author and not Mouths of Mums.
Image courtesy of Shutterstock.com 
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Comments

  • I’m sorry, but I couldn’t disagree more with the first point you make and I couldn’t read further. A woman absolutely does not need the consent of their partner to end a pregnancy. They can have a discussion and heart to heart, but if the partner doesn’t agree with what the woman wants to do with their own body they can kick rocks. And to say family might think less of you?!! This article is a flop. Ladies, you do what is best for you, your mental health, your body, your wellbeing, and be unapologetic about it.

    Reply

  • You just have to do what is right for you and your situation.

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  • There’s a lot of these unplanned, surprise pregnancies. Particularly in the young. I’m inclined to think the young girls who ‘accidently’ fall pregnant aren’t at all. A lot of them do it to trap the boyfriend, which doesn’t usually work. Or they do it instead of going to school and getting trained for a career, so no job…..ill gave a baby. And then they’re stuck in the Centrelink rut, but won’t do anything to help themselves, some are encouraged to do this by their parents too. So sad

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  • I had twins, and then and unplanned child 20 mnths later, I had just returned to fulltime work when I discovered I was pregnant complete with an iud, I cried, sobbed, screamed, I had suffered bad post natal depression which is one of the reasons I returned to work early, but after lots of thinking I went ahead with the pregnancy, my theory was that although it seemed overwhelming at the time in 10 years time it will not be a problem, and ironically that is the case, would not change it for the world and I got my little girl, I probably would never have had any more children so it was a blessing. And I was pressured by my doctors to have an abortion because of PND and having just had the twins, I am pleased I resisted as I am not anti abortion, I am pro choice. great article, just need to make the right decision for you.

    • Aw, that must have been hard ! Glad that you came through it and well

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  • wonderful article, most woman will have this dilemma at sometime and knowing that it is normal to have different feeling and options is important, this really should be discussed more on how to cope and what to expect.

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  • good article.. nice ideas as well..

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  • This is such a heavy reading for a mondya …

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  • An informative article on a difficult topic. Unplanned pregnancy and unwanted pregnancy are two different things as unplanned can be embraced and turn out to be a blessing in disguise. Unwanted I find very sad. For mothers of girls….tell them , tell them and tell them about contraception. Don’t put your head in the sand. Inform them and prepare them instead.

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  • This is a good article outlining the options there are out there. No one choice is better than the other. Make decisions that are right for you at the time. A great read.

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  • I do know many disagree with my belief. Abortion is murder. If the biological parents do not want to become parents there are plenty of people wanting to become parents and provide a loving family and all this little life needs. Even children with severe disabilities are adopted by people who want them and can love them unconditionally.
    I understand that many people do not believe they can carry and deliver a baby as a result of rape, however that little life is born with a clean slate and has a right to life. I believe every life has a right to be protected, nurtured and cared for. It saddens me that the sanctity of life has been replaced with laws that allow abortions. I believe that we all will meet God face to face and will be judged on how we lived our life. All the earthly man made laws no not replace the laws of God. So often abortion is used as birth control. People need to be better educated to prevent unplanned pregnancy. My first and youngest were very special surprises and I accepted the responsibility of bringing them into the world and would not change a thing. I miscarried one time and to this day, I still grieve and wonder about this child missing from my family.

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  • I really wish every woman embraced a pregnancy regardless whether its something you wanted. I am not fully against abortion as clearly some would have good reason. Difficult but such a blessing

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  • the unexpected kind like I had are a great surpise and the best thing that ever happened to me

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  • Does the birth Mother actually see the Adoptive Mother??. It didn’t used to happen that way.
    I know a couple who adopted a baby. They collected the baby from the nursery and never met the Mother. In fact they only found out the afternoon that there was a baby available for them to adopt. They had to go to court to make it legal and hope the maternal Mum didn’t change her mind and want her baby back even though she had signed the papers at the hospital.

    • i think that it depends on the type of adoption that takes place. closed adoption means you don’t know anything, open means you will know a bit about the family and they will send you photos and phone calls etc and you can still have some contact with the child. it depends on what the adoptive parents and the birth mother agree on.

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  • Some good points there. It can be a difficult decision, but you have to do what’s right for you.

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  • After having my first one, I don’t thinkm I would ever be able to terminate a pregnancy!

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  • Great article..

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  • Thank you everyone for liking my article. Its very encouraging!!

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  • What a well written article as a mum that had a unplanned loved baby this is the sort off thing I needed to read

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  • Neither of my two children were planned but I will tell them both they were a pleasant surprise!

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  • A well balanced article! At the end of the day it a personal decision sometimes made in very difficult circumstances.

    Reply
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