Husband Blames Pregnant Wife For His P*rn Addiction

An expecting mum says she was shocked to discover her partner’s ‘seedy’ porn addiction, which he says is entirely her fault.

The mum-to-be, who is 22-weeks pregnant, says she thought her partner didn’t watch any porn, but admits that was probably naive of her.

“He just doesn’t really seem interested,” she explained on Mumsnet. “He said his sex drive has gone down over the years. We don’t have loads of sex but it’s not like it’s non existent.”

The pregnant woman says she’s had a long road to a healthy pregnancy, and thought she and her partner had a good sex life despite their fertility struggles. So she was completely floored when she discovered what her husband had been watching.

“I’m 22 weeks pregnant and going through a lot this pregnancy, been through a lot to conceive as well. It’s taken years and we’ve had a loss. I just discovered on his phone a porn page open. Horrible stuff as well just proper seedy stuff. Obviously I’m really upset and he’s just blamed me! He said it’s not like I do anything. It was only a week or so ago we did stuff and I did something for him that I’m not majorly into!

“I’m so upset! I feel like I’m not good enough but I think more than anything I’m shocked as I didn’t expect it.”

The expecting mum says her partner stormed out, furious at his wife’s reaction.

“I’ve been at the hospital all day due to yet another episode of bleeding and just feel really f*****g s**t in general. He’s a really good man this aside, he provides and I don’t want for nothing but this has really rocked me. It’s his reaction as well. Like it’s totally normal and he’s clearly not getting enough of me so it’s my fault.”

The mum-to-be wants to know if she has a right to be upset, and what she should do to move forward. What are your thoughts? Let us know in the comments below.

44 Comments

- - meedee said
  - 05 Sep 2024
    10:59 am
WHat kind of Man….and I use the word very losely ….blames someone else for his porn addiction??? Stand up and be a man and take responsibility for a choice you made ….what a coward.
Ignore him….his choices have nothing to do with you.

- - Lividanke said
  - 26 Aug 2024
    4:35 pm
Sometimes porn can be really bad for relationships and sex life.

- - mom101628 said
  - 15 Apr 2023
    9:19 am
I think some intervention by marriage guidance and or therapists would be in order here before the problem just keeps on getting worse and worse. Good luck.

- - mum1 said
  - 31 Jul 2022
    3:33 pm
Sounds like he’s defensive and deflecting blame which compunds the problem for you both. Time for a serious chat and maybe some couples therapy can give you both the skills to have open and honest conversations without it escalating into a fight

- - Zmijka86 said
  - 05 Jul 2022
    6:59 pm
I think its a time for some serious talk between them.

- - mom461384 said
  - 03 Jul 2022
    5:50 pm
You definitely have a right to be upset

- - ~Loui~ said
  - 28 Jun 2022
    4:46 pm
I think this couple need some help to communicate so that they can hear each others concerns needs and desires. It would be great if they could get support prior to the baby being born.

- - mom462038 said
  - 28 Jun 2022
    11:40 am
What a wimpy bloke to blame his addiction on his pregnant wife. Sounds like a really sad fella she would be better off without

- - mom93821 said
  - 26 Jun 2022
    1:29 pm
No woman she be blamed for others addictions. People need to own their issues and be responsible and accountable. During pregnancy women need support and understanding and this is the absolute opposite of that!

- - mom60462 said
  - 17 Jun 2022
    3:44 pm
weird, but its his problem

- - tessie said
  - 17 Jun 2022
    2:32 pm
You have every right to feel this way and, no, it’s not your fault. He is the one who doesn’t seem to want sex and says his sex drive has gone down. How can you have more when he doesn’t want to? I’d be asking myself if it’s just porn he’s watching or if he has a roving eye. If anything I would have thought porn would want him to have more sex, not less.

- - My Littlebuttons said
  - 15 Jun 2022
    12:43 pm
Oh wow this is terrible I just have no words

- - rovermum said
  - 15 Jun 2022
    10:55 am
Absolutely you have the right to be upset. How selfish and ignorant of him. And where is his concern for you and your pregnancy. This is a very red flag for me.

- - Julzie13 said
  - 15 Jun 2022
    10:43 am
Not the pregnant wife’s fault. He should have just owned it.

- - mom479049 said
  - 14 Jun 2022
    10:01 pm
It’s always easier blaming someone else for your poor decisions
- mom93821 replied
  
  27 Jun 2022 , 7:07 am
  It is poor form and being accountable is essential!
- - mumof3 said
  - 14 Jun 2022
    7:01 pm
Um no! You do not blame your wife because you’ve taken up watching porn. He should be talking to her and working this out, not putting out blame.

- - BellaB said
  - 14 Jun 2022
    6:59 pm
He needs to take responsibility for himself.

- - sharna_booth_weinrowski said
  - 14 Jun 2022
    8:13 am
his actions not hers

- - Mummybearmerve said
  - 13 Jun 2022
    9:49 am
I agree with all the other comments about communication. Pornography is bad. Regardless of what anyone thinks, they need to work on getting it sorted. My SIL became less interested in sex (I think she always had issues with it) and unfortunately it eventually cost the marriage. Her husband became annoyed and frustrated and eventually left – there was basically minimal communication and compromise on her end, basically brushing him off constantly and again… same long journey to pregnancy… These things are important to be communicated, I don’t agree divorce is a first resort or anything but they need to see someone and they need to talk.

- - natct said
  - 13 Jun 2022
    5:33 am
It was totally wrong to blame others for his actions. She has every right to be hurt.