It took me until I had my 2nd baby to really feel like a mum. I’ve tried to merge my old life with new life. As they get older they’ll show personality and although youll have other challenges along the way, you will also enjoy them more. It takes time to step into those shoes for some. It’s a huge adjustment. Sending my daughter to daycare gives me time with my newborn but also time to myself as they sleep a lot at this stage. Maybe consider sending your child for one or two days to catch your breath.

I would definitely encourage you to speak to a therapist just as an outlet for you to process how your life has changed, and to give you the safe space to do so. There are post natal specialists and a space like that may be really helpful, even group sessions if you feel comfortable doing so. I also think you’ll find once your baby is a toddler you’ll regain many of those enjoyable moments, just with a very special person who adds so much beauty to a simple meal out or walking in the park. My toddler gives me such joy as she helps me slow down and observe so many things we as adults take for granted. A shift of perspective is also helpful, while grieving what is no longer the same is a normal part of the process, being introspective and exploring what you have gained may help shift some of your feelings (again therapy is a great space to assist you in this process). I also miss Netflix binge days, however I’ve accepted once my daughter goes down at 7:30 I get a couple hours in then. ????

It’s all about change. There are so many things that we give up to be parents and there seems to be no way of comprehending this huge change before it actually happens. The answer to finding peace again is through acceptance.

It’s OK to miss your old life, life changes, through all of its stages and having a child is life changing. Try to take time out to do things you like on your own that might help regain some of your old life

You’ll need to lesrn to adjust sooner or later

Many people probably shouldn’t have children which is absolutely fine but if you can work that out before Having one is ideal but now that your baby is here just try to give her the best life you can but don’t lose yourself along the way they should fit into your life, enjoy the moments with her & enjoy your time when you have a babysitter.

It’s tough, but after a while you learn to bring your old life into your new life.

Its hard. Your focus and priority all of a sudden is on a small little baby and its 24/7, there is no stopping for years to come. Its definitely an adjustment, but very rewrading

What a hard situation to be in

Sounds like more support is needed. It’s such a hard transition. I often wonder what my life would have been like had I waited longer to have children but I absolutely love them with all my heart that it’s only a fleeting thought.

It certainly is a big change and takes time to adjust. Your body needs to heal as well and hormones are all over the place. Accept all help & support you can and seek professional help when needed

It sounds like you need a break or some extra support…. Do you have any family or friends you can rely on. Maybe an appointment with your gp might be in order…. Having said that you do start to get some time to yourself again once they start school…..

This is such a selfish view. You should never regret a person.
But you can take a moment to mourn your old life, then move on. With age does come personal space.

You don’t have to lose your old life. Sure, there’s an extra responsibility now, but you still need to take time for yourself. It’s important to have a support network of people who you trust to babysit. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I am sure there are plenty of people willing to assist and your baby is never too young to start getting used to other care givers.

You should see if a family member or a friend could look after your baby daughter for a night or two so that you can watch a bit of Netflix in the evening or go out and enjoy nature or have dinner out. My parents used to take my daughter on a Friday night and I would pick her up on Sunday after I had a sleep in.

It sounds like the mother is really struggling and may need some help professionally and from family. So many mums experience different things with their kids and I can definitely say it is not easy having a child or multiple.

I get where you are coming from, I hate the stress and anxiety from arguing with them or the constant repetition but then they hug me or tell me I’m the best mum ever and it makes it worth it.

It does get better and hormones may be playing a part in this. She needs to ask for help and some time out to herself.

• • 
  • • mom93821 replied
    • 22 Jul 2023 , 4:15 am

  ---

  Seeking support and getting help to navigate through motherhood is so important.

I felt the exact same way until my son turned 4 months

My eldest was a nightmare baby and screamed all the time. She never slept for more then 20mins and that was if things were going well. I had really had a good day if I managed to get the washing done and hung out and once that was done I would start preping for dinner. I was 100% on my own with no family help. My husband was no help other then he brought in money so that was one thing I didnt have to worry about. I badly missed having any time just for me and found I became so tired of having someone attached to me 24/7. I hear you.
Oddly when I had baby number 2 it was a breeze as she was a sleeper and as she got older the two kids would play with each other. I often said 2 was much easier then 1.