In the first instance the Mum should have put her child first and turned around and picked up the milk. You do not ask others to run around after you….thats just rude.
The wife had every tight to ask her husband for help but at the same time shed needs to understand that he is working and if he says NO then that has to be accepted.
His suggestion that she feed the baby was a good one but the wife should have checked with the bubs Mum first.
Everyone played a part in this.

It’s very much a catch 22. The mum should have turned around and grabbed the breastmilk. I personally wouldn’t want someone else to feed my baby. It makes a very uncomfortable situation for all. If I was the couple I would apologise and maybe suggest she looks for alternatives for her child’s care.

Ahhh this is a tricky one!
I do understand they were trying to help, but I also understand the mum and how she reacted

Harsh as it is the mother forgot the milk. The friends are already doing her a favour so she should have turned around. Also , the babysitting mother shouldn’t have said the husband could go get it. And they also shouldn’t have breastfeed the baby without asking the mother. A whole lot of things there that went wrong. However at least the child was fed which I think is the main thing

I think they need to rethink they respond and how they handled that whole situation.

There is probably a few things that could have been done differently with hindsight in this scenario. Mum could have remembered milk, or went back and got it, babysitting Mum could have told her husband after the phone conversation that they needed to go and pick up the breast milk and the babysitting Mum could have called her friend before she decided to breastfeed the child to talk about it first.

It sure was the mum’s responsibility to provide the milk.
The baby sitting mum shouldn’t have approved that her husband would pick up the milk without his consent.
The babysitting mum shouldn’t have breastfed the baby without the consent of the mum.
The mum could have had more compassion in this situation and has her expectation too high for friends who do this for her for free and with good intentions.

The woman who was babysitting does it for free so it was the other Mother’s responsibility to supply the milk. I think it was better to breastfeed the baby than to have it cry and go without a feed until the baby’s mother came back from work. I think she had a nerve to ask them to stop what they were doing to go and get something she forgot. I hope they can sort things out or that Mum will have to start paying someone to look after her baby or give up work altogether

This is a very tricky personally I think they did best they could and no one was harmed so ……

Some 40+ years ago while in hospital after having my first child I had excess milk that in those days was pooled for other newborns that needed breast milk & it wasn’t frowned upon. In today’s world I think it has to be screened more carefully. I still think the single Mum should have been more appreciative of her friend’s offer to feed her child as no breast feeding mother would intentionally have contaminated milk.

Look, breastfeeding someone else’s child is a sensitive area but the friend was definitely in the wrong. She is getting free child care and she screwed up in the first place. She should have just turned around and got the milk instead of putting out her good hearted friends even more. She could have called her work and said she’d be late. The dad is not in the wrong- they both have busy lives. Friend should be thankful for help She receives.

Seriously, this is a definite no no. Instead, the husband should have went and got the breastmilk as his wife suggested.

He should have just gone and got the milk before it became a problem.

The husband had a conference call that he couldn’t get out of, he couldn’t go at that particular time, that’s not his fault for not being able to go. He said an flippant remark as he was in a hurry to get on with his call. The wife is the one who ultimately decided to do it, I’m not sure how I would feel having my child breastfeed by someone else but it’s something that happens in other cultures around the world and has happend for centuries too hence the name “wet nurse”.

She should have run it past the mum first to prevent such a rift. However the mum that forgot the milk isn’t innocent either.
She should have gone back to get the milk not asked her friend to go get it.
A lot of missed communication with this rift unfortunately

Doing such a thing is something I would have raised with the mum first, definitely. And to be honest, if someone asked me I would have said yes. If you trust someone to care for your babe I’m pretty sure a couple of breastfeeds shouldn’t be an outrage. I’d feel blessed because I’d forgotten to provide food in the first place so I’d feel incredibly lucky my friend could do that for me and my babe. But just give mum a heads up first.

She had no right to feed that baby!!!! If she had asked her friend if it was ok and she agreed then fine, to each their own, but it’s not her baby! Breastfeeding is special bonding time between mother and baby. Being a Mum is hard and busy work, sometimes you forget,, I’d forget my head if it wasn’t screwed on! What the Mother should of done was let work know that she was going to be late and go back to get the milk.

I don’t think I’d feel comfortable having someone else breastfeed my child, nor would I feel comfortable feeling another person’s child like this.
I think the mother of the child should have gone home to get the milk & not leaving it up to the friends who were doing her a favour by babysitting her child.
The wife should have rang her friend & explained that they couldn’t get the breastmilk & left it to the mother to make the decision on what to do.

As a mother with newborn, I understand how difficult it is to take care of a child and a newborn while lending cares for another person’s baby. Frankly, it wasn’t her fault nor her husband that her friend left the baby milk at home. I also feel bad that her friend even threatened her. The wife quarrelling with her husband for someone else’s child sounds like her friend is causing division in their family. I feel that the friend is a user-friendly and entitled. She should have been the one to go back home and fetch the milk for her own child.

Husband not in the wrong. It was one solution on the table. The wife could have called the friend and communicated that the breastmilk in her house could not be retrieved after all. And ask her on the phone what should be done. And if the friend could not be reached perhaps call the Child and Youth helpline just to backup the final decision on what to feed (indeed whether 1 missed feed at that age is an issue or not .. maybe missing a feed would be better than possibly passing on something through the foreign breastmilk and/or using formula, which she didn’t have anyway).