"If my husband's family called my baby ugly, should I still invite them to his party?"

We all think that our babies are the most beautiful little beings ever, but what happens when someone calls a baby ‘funny looking’? Should they be forgiven?

One couple has butted heads over an issue that happened when their baby was a newborn, “Three weeks after giving birth, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law came to see my son at my house. They both offered to do some housework, to help my husband and me. They were both in the kitchen when I went downstairs to get something. I heard my sister-in-law say “the baby … isn’t he funny looking?” my mother-in-law laughed and told my sister-in-law to save that conversation for another time.”

The hurt new mum is upset that her in-laws called her baby ugly, “We all know that “funny looking” is code for “ugly” so I was supremely angry. When I called them out for what they were saying, they excused themselves by saying it was an innocent comment and that they weren’t being serious when they said that.”

Fast forward almost a year later, and the new mum is still upset, “My son’s 1st birthday is next weekend and I invited most of our relatives except my mother-in-law and sister-in-law.”

Her husband isn’t happy that she’s leaving them out, “When my husband asked me why I didn’t want his mother and sister there, I reminded him of what they said about our son the first time they met him, and I told him that I still can’t get over their comments (mostly because they haven’t even apologise or something similar).”

“My husband is mad at me now because I refuse to have them at the party. He says that everyone makes comments about the appearance of babies and that his mother and sister did not want to hurt me by what they said. He says I’m being unreasonable for not forgiving my mother-in-law and sister-in-law for something they said a year ago,” she shared.

While some commenters on the post on reddit agree with the new mum and understand her anger, the majority think she needs to get over it, with one saying, “All babies look like angry potatoes.”

Do you think she should invite them?

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67 Comments

- - mom465794 said
  - 19 Nov 2024
    4:25 am
You need to move on since theyre family

- - mom462038 said
  - 14 Sep 2024
    10:37 am
It was a year ago, you dont say if you’ve had any contact with these in laws in that time. Honestly, newborns can be funny looking

- - rachel1970 said
  - 01 Sep 2024
    1:50 pm
A lot of babies come out “funny looking” . They have cone shaped heads, squished faces and the list goes one. They are still cute as all babies are cute. I think you should just forgive and forget.

- - mom493789 said
  - 21 May 2024
    7:43 pm
Fact is, a lot of babies aren’t “cute” especially after a vaginal delivery and anyone taking offence needs to be realistic. Babies features are best viewed after at least a week!

- - ChiWren said
  - 30 Nov 2023
    11:21 pm
It’s politeness 101 that you never point out a potato looking baby anywhere within earshot of the parents, and they deserved dressing down in the moment. I feel that excluding them from the first birthday is too far. Nuclear level. How has a year passed and its still an issue, was it never brought back up? Has she excluded them from seeing the baby the entire time? Time to move on.

- - mom330794 said
  - 06 Jul 2023
    7:13 pm
No they had no right saying such a nasty thing.

- - TraceyGail said
  - 30 Jun 2022
    7:34 am
They were wrong but she needs to let it go. I’m sure they’ve gotten the message and will think before they speak in future.

- - mom93821 said
  - 26 Jun 2022
    1:57 pm
An ugly comment but not worth the energy of letting it impact on a wife and husband relationship.
Ugly comments are best left to evaporate and given no oxygen and energy.
- mom93821 replied
  
  27 Jun 2022 , 7:10 am
  The comment from the in-laws is petty.
- - mom487937 said
  - 20 May 2022
    11:23 am
All babies are beautiful! What a uncharitable comment by the in laws. However I don’t think this should be her hill to die on and she should move past it.

- - mom323673 said
  - 09 Feb 2022
    3:43 pm
Inlaws!!! My husbands parents, uncles, and grandparents have a nasty habit of telling kids they look like the other side of the family if they think they’re ugly! They told me he looks like his dad, basically saying they don’t think he’s ugly, even though he fully looks like a mix of both..

- - ashna9 said
  - 01 Feb 2022
    5:19 pm
Yes she should invite them but yes it is also ok to feel hurt by the comments.

- - AlwaysLovely said
  - 30 Jan 2022
    1:05 pm
That’s not a nice to thing say about anyone baby they are all beautiful and precious
- mom93821 replied
  
  27 Jun 2022 , 7:09 am
  It is a petty comment and best discarded!
- - cassy26 said
  - 18 Jan 2022
    6:30 pm
While the comment should never have been made and was obviously very hurtful most babies are a little bit strange looking at birth and I’m sure there was no malicious intent. A year on its probably time to let it go and accept that while it was thoughtless and rude its probably time to let go of grudges… although I probably would’ve expected at least an apology..
- Ellen replied
  
  28 Jan 2022 , 9:48 am
  Yes I agree with you
- - Livi92 said
  - 08 Jan 2022
    2:39 pm
That comment is hurtful but it was also meant to be said privately between the two of them. It’s doesn’t mean they don’t love your baby and I think they deserve another chance. As a mum it is only natural to want to protect our children but I don’t think they meant to hurt any of them by that comment and having family involved in your child’s life is important.

- - romvar said
  - 07 Jan 2022
    5:49 pm
That comment was very hurtful and calling them out was the right thing to do. But I think she should let it go.

- - jrobin260 said
  - 29 Dec 2021
    9:45 am
Some babies are funny looking, so are some people! Your husband may have looked the very same way when he was born? I’m sure they didn’t mean anything by it, and this is probably one to forgive. If you are still experiencing trouble with them in a few months, then it is time to reassess.

- - BadMamaJamma85 said
  - 01 Dec 2021
    7:55 pm
This one is close to home, you see as a Pacific Islander, we have that saying, when you marry him/her, you marry the family/village and in this case, I know the in-laws will always be over at celebrations, birthdays, etc. If anything, I would pull that in law aside and have a word with them and just explain to them, how their words were offensive and I won’t tolerate that kind of behaviour. I’m sure at this stage, they would apologise and if they don’t? Their loss. Let them take their negative energy away, I would focus on positivity and light into my darling baby.

- - mom58162 said
  - 27 Nov 2021
    12:56 pm
I would pick your battles. This, in my opinion is not one of them. Your baby will prove them all wrong with every day of growth and you meanwhile can avoid any unpleasantness on your part. Everyone has their own opinion, talking about your baby and how it looks is very hurtful and so rude, they obviously forgot that some of the bubs genes come from themselves.

- - HelenP5 said
  - 20 Nov 2021
    6:45 pm
You could always let them know that you heard their comment by putting on the invite ‘You are invited to your “Funny Looking” Grandson/Nephews birthday’ No seriously, don’t let other peoples hurtful comments cause you anguish. I’ve heard lots of people say things like that about newborn babies & most of the time they are oblivious to how it can effect others.

- - Sklh said
  - 01 Nov 2021
    5:19 am
I come from a family where the names for each other are ugly, freak toes, dofus ear and keg on legs…. we love each other dearly but it’s a tough love!