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Article ‘I’m An Older Dad, And Got Kicked Out Of A Baby And Me Group’

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They say it takes a village to raise a child, but for one mature-aged dad finding his tribe is proving heartbreakingly difficult.

The 50-year-old new dad and his 50-year-old wife recently realised their 20 year dream of becoming parents, thanks to donors and a surrogate.

“I’m well aware we are older parents and that we are at a disadvantage to many others and whilst some people may disagree with this, my wife and I are just extremely happy to finally be able to be parents after wanting it for so long,” he explained on reddit.

With their son now seven-months-old, they decided it would be a great time to get him involved in a ‘baby and me’ group.

“I don’t know anyone with kids his age so I thought I could maybe befriend some parents even if they were 20 years younger than me so my son could finally interact with kids his own age and perhaps grow up with them as friends,” the new dad explained.

“The group I went to was just advertised as a baby and me group. It never said anything about being geared towards just mothers but when I went, it was very oblivious I was the only dad there and of course, the oldest in the room. I never thought there was an issue as the people who run it say dads have gone before and I chatted to some of the mothers and it seemed like it was the start of maybe a friendship or two for my son.

“I went home and told my wife I thought it had gone well and I was quite happy about going again.”

But all was not as it seemed, with some of the mums in the group feeling ‘uncomfortable’ about the man’s attendance.

“I got an email from the people that run it saying several of the mothers made complaints about me. I was really confused and when I asked them to elaborate, they said the women complained they feel uncomfortable about having an older man there and want it to be made a mothers only event. They asked if I would reconsider either getting my wife to bring our son along or if I could just not go anymore.

“I’m genuinely crushed as I’m just trying to do right by my boy but maybe I should have realised my age would make people wary. My wife is furious and wants me to do something about the place where the group is run but I don’t know.”

What do you think this dad should do? Let us know in the comments below. 

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Comments

  • Yes, I would definitely not go back there! Very discriminatory!
    I would hate to think how I might’ve been treated by these women had I had a disability too. Not on.

    Reply

  • Absolutely wrong to discriminate! Parents come in all ages.

    Reply

  • Let the owners of this day care know they are discriminating you for being male, regardless of your age, the little bloke needs to have company of his peers.

    Reply

  • That’s just horrible and sad that this dad, in all his excitement, is being discriminated against! What horrible women! What is he doing there?
    I hope he finds his people! Maybe join a baby rhyme time at a local library would be good for them!
    My husband is an older dad (same age bracket with four young kids) and has always been welcomed wherever he goes, as are the other much older dads that I know.
    A huge congratulations to this couple on their baby. Don’t let people get you down!

    Reply

  • In this day and age of inclusiveness, I find the stance of these women to be out of step.

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  • That’s really disappointing and shameful. Dads as well as mums are just as important to the baby and those groups are meant to be a support network for whoever is caring for their baby.

    Reply

  • How rude. I wouldn’t go back there and still put in a complaint. There are more parents starting families later in life or adding to their family later in life and should feel comfortable and welcomed to any group.

    Reply

  • Don’t go back. If the mums behave that way towards anyone their kids will no doubt grow up to behave in a similar manner. You don’t want your son around that. Try some other playgroup settings until you find the right fit for you.

    Reply

  • Wow, those women are nasty.
    I don’t get the problem, he has a kid and a wife. Not like he’s there up to no good!!!
    I seriously don’t understand the world these days.

    Reply

  • I think he should complain. I wouldn’t have had a problem with fathers in any of my parenting groups and I think for this sort of general activity, no-one else should either.

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  • That’s pretty unfair when it’s not a female only group for people to complain about a dad going

    Reply

  • This makes me so angry and I hope not all groups are like this

    Reply

  • This is infuriating. People are so quick to bash dads that don’t help out or do anything with their kids and when they finally do they are excluded because they are a man? Seriously those women need to grow up.

    Reply
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