Your family are your first priority, and the other mother should know that anyway. No child can be forced to play with another and believe me if you tried it then no good will come out of for either child.

I don’t agree with his decision as special needs children are very precious and the little boy should play with the special needs child because he will encounter special needs orally through life and this will create a normal friendship scenario with special needs people.

• • 
  • • mom486446 replied
    • 11 Feb 2023 , 11:23 am

  ---

  It doesnt sound like the boy is being excluded due to his special needs. More so because their personalities dont mesh well.

  You shouldnt ever force children to play with kids they dont want to, especially if they verbalise their feelings.

  All kids are precious. All kids deserve to have their parents listen to them.
  It would be a disservice to the other boy if kids were forced to play with him, instead of making friends on his own.

As a mum of two special needs and two non special needs children I find the situation difficult. On the one hand I would want people to show and teach consideration towards my children, but on the other hand I know that my kids aren’t for everyone. I would have said that instead of avoiding the child altogether they could shorten the time spent at the park together.
My eldest special needs child is 7 and often plays alone at school. I cancelled his birthday one year as out of the whole year level only 6 people acknowledged his invite and only three could come. That year he didn’t have a single invitation for a birthday or play date and it broke my heart as well as his.
He isn’t full on like the boy described, he is just different and doesn’t really fit in with kids his own age (gets along brilliantly with older kids).
At the end of last year someone took a chance on him and he has a great friend now. Maybe you just need to take a chance on this boy and discuss the issues with the mum so that she knows where to focus her attention with her son

• • 
  • • mom317516 replied
    • 11 Feb 2023 , 5:18 pm

  ---

  I agree with you. Maybe the Dad should talk to the mother of this child with special needs and explain things to her and like you say maybe this child could shorten his time at the park with the other children so they have the chance to get to know him better. and it would be a perfect time for parents to teach their children to be more understanding and to look beyond the special needs of this child and see what is inside and who knows they may end of being friends at the very least they will have raised children who have more empathy for others.

  I am so happy for your son that he has found a good friend.

I think the father has done all that it he can to include the other child. Unfortunately his child doesn’t want to socialise with him. He shouldn’t be forced to.

I get where Sam is coming from. He tried, but doesn’t feel comfortable around Aiden. If we as adults are not comfortable around someone we don’t socialise with them. It should be the same for children. Sam is not being mean to Aiden or belittling him in front of anyone so he is not a bully. I grew up with a special needs sister and she used to get a bit out of control sometimes so I know how Sam feels. It is hard for Aiden’s mum to see that other kids don’t want to play with him but she should understand that not everyone has been bought up with a special needs child. Maybe when you see Aiden’s mum just explain to her that your children are not used to being around special needs children and they are not used to their boisterous nature.

I’m so torn. I would feel bad for my child if I forced them to play with someone they didn’t feel comfortable with but I also can see the other mum’s point of view.
It would definitely be hard to be the parent of a special needs child and have your child feel left out.
Maybe the mum can find a group of other parents in the area who also have special needs kids.

Every child has a right to choose their friends. If a child doesn’t want to play with another child then it’s probably for the best for both of them.

Sounds like a hard situation to be in but your child has a right to decide who they feel comfortable playing with. Not all kids will like each other.

Each child will choose friends based on who they feel comfortable and/or connect with, just as adults would do.

As a parent, you should support your child, and if your child verbally says to you they don’t feeling comfortable playing with a certain child, then, all i see is that you are following your child’s wishes… I appreciate so e parents have to deal with a special needs child, but you CANNOT force other children to play with your child if other children just dont feel comfortable or safe. And as a parent of a child with special needs, you CANNOT corner other parents and blame them for incidents that have evolved because a parent is simply following their own child’s rewuest of not wanting to play with certain children.

As a mum of 2 special needs now adults, I never made anyone’s kids play with mine and I never let mine ruin anything of anyone else’s. You do what’s right for your child it’s not your responsibility to worry about other people’s children who can’t play with others nicely. X