'It's A Mother's Job To Push Through': Husband's Rant To Pregnant Wife

A mum-to-be has revealed a heartbreaking exchange with her husband, which ended with her wishing she never became pregnant with his baby.

The 26-year-old first time mum says she and her 28-year-old husband have been together for five years, before recently trying for a baby.

“We both felt like that was the next step in our life together, and three weeks ago I got a positive test back,” she said on reddit. “We were really really happy and told our families, and now my mum and MIL want to throw a big baby shower for us, it was just super good news all around.”

But everything changed just a couple of nights ago, when the pregnant woman and her husband, Jake, were getting ready for bed, and he asked his wife to go through the house and make sure all the lights are off.

“Now he can be a little lazy at times, and it has become a nightly routine for me to make sure all the lights are off that he leaves on before we go to bed. I wasn’t feeling very well and asked if he could just do it since he wasn’t doing anything and was literally standing by the door. He then tells me, ‘No, this is what is expected of you every night’.

“I was a little hurt but I didn’t want to fight with him so I just did it. When I came back Jake goes on this very long and unprovoked rant saying things like, ‘Just because you are pregnant does not mean anything will change’ and, ‘You are still expected to cook, clean, and do all the chores every day because how can you be expected to be a mother if you can’t handle a little work’. He wasn’t yelling or anything, he was talking to me quietly like a was two inches tall.

“I was shocked because I had never heard him say anything like this. The rant went on for about 30 minutes before I interjected and asked, ‘Well what do you plan on doing to help me with all of this’. He then got extremely defensive saying he works his ass of at his job to provide for me and what is going to be our future children. (For context I don’t work at the moment, my job was not paying enough to justify me going so I am a full time college student). He ended by saying that it doesn’t matter how I feel physically or mentally, it is a mother’s job to push through, and if he helped and babied me I wouldn’t be a good mother.”

‘I wish I knew this is how you felt before getting pregnant’

The expecting mum said the rant made her extremely upset, and she began yelling at him, saying, “I wish I would’ve known this is how you felt before I got pregnant with your baby”.

It was this sentence that broke Jake, who ended up packing his things and leaving.

“There was a moment of silence before he started crying and he left for the night to stay at his mother’s house. He hasn’t been back yet and my MIL and SIL have called me berating me and saying I broke Jake’s heart with what I said and I need to apologise immediately, and until I do he isn’t coming home. I don’t know how to feel.”

The mum-to-be was at a loss, wondering if she was in the wrong for yelling at her husband.

What’s your opinion? Was she justified in her comments? Let us know in the comments below.

38 Comments

- - meedee said
  - 06 Aug 2024
    1:20 pm
WOW….. he is way too immature.
Sadly this sort of thing should have been discussed before you got married and 100% before even thinking about having children.
MIL and SIL need to keep their comments to themselves.
You need to decide if this relationship is worth it. Will you be happy to live according to his rules? or will he be happy to rethink how he faces life being a partner and a Dad? If not move on.

- - ~Loui~ said
  - 27 Apr 2022
    9:56 pm
These people should not be having a baby.

- - mom486391 said
  - 07 Apr 2022
    7:40 pm
Oh no, his family sound just as crazy as he does!
I hope you have a good circle of friends and family to support you through this difficult time

- - Zmijka86 said
  - 23 Feb 2022
    7:36 am
I feel so sorry for her. That relationship/ marriage doesn’t sound right.

- - mom196152 said
  - 09 Feb 2022
    4:21 pm
OMG it’s not the 1950’s! He needs to be a man and take care of his Wife and future Child! And running back to Mummy when he didn’t get his way, childish and sad.

- - SAS185 said
  - 06 Feb 2022
    5:04 pm
Clearly this guy has issues. At least his showing them now while it’s still early. God my advice is run away. If he’s being like this now it’ll only get worse after the child is born.

- - tessie said
  - 06 Feb 2022
    2:19 pm
She is perfectly within her right to say what she did. The lazy one is him, if he leaves a light on he should be the one to turn it off. Having a baby is a gift for both of them. It doesn’t mean that she is to do everything now that he has made her pregnant. Big deal, I say he’s the one who needs to apologise to her and the MIL and SIL need to back off.

- - hopefullyheidi said
  - 06 Feb 2022
    11:18 am
Poor lady. Some clearly troubling things when he says he doesn’t care how she feels.

- - Forgetful Mumma said
  - 05 Feb 2022
    7:14 pm
So totally not in the wrong! Clearly he has mummy issues and mummy made out the sun shone out of his a§§! I would be asking how he expects to be a good dad if he runs home to mummy after he starts a fight from his own laziness! As his mum the exact same question! I’d also ask his mum what exactly she did to raise a man who would belittle his pregnant wife, and expect her to do everything for him when all she did was ask if he could check the lights were off because she was in bed feeling unwell and he had just walked into the bedroom. I’d so totally throw it all back on them! The second you start questioning if you were wrong, when you know you weren’t, you are in for a miserable marriage.

- - anna213795 said
  - 03 Feb 2022
    7:19 am
This is why it’s so important to know who you are marrying. Not someone who is capable of being controlling, nasty and making you feel unworthy. It’s plain wrong and he needs a serious kick up the backside

- - mom323673 said
  - 02 Feb 2022
    11:27 pm
Oh WwwooooowwW!!!!! His mother and sister need to get a life! This is in no way your fault! You should not have to put up with that! He needs to grow up, stop thinking that it is your responsibility to take care of the whole house. Whether you were pregnant or not.. whether you work or not.. The fact that he thought it was all your responsibility before and still is now that you are pregnant, girrrrrlll you need to get out now!!!

- - rovermum said
  - 02 Feb 2022
    11:02 am
OMG you poor thing. To learn this about your husband whilst your pregnant with his baby? I cannot believe the things that came out of his mouth. And obviously it’s cultural or learned behaviour from his family’s response. I’m so sorry, but get out now. He has obviously shown his true colours and you need love and support during your pregnancy and after. Clearly, this is just the start of how things will be.

- - mom462038 said
  - 01 Feb 2022
    9:02 pm
Oh that is so harsh! I think I would be regretting tying myself to a man who thinks this

- - ashna9 said
  - 01 Feb 2022
    5:14 pm
Walk out the door now! This situation is only going to get worse.

- - sars_angelchik said
  - 01 Feb 2022
    1:28 pm
If everything went down exactly how it’s written, Jake is very much in the wrong and needs to learn how to be a better partner. They need to get together and discuss things like adults and come to an agreement. As to turning off lights, he has arms and legs.

- - mom109199 said
  - 01 Feb 2022
    12:00 pm
It needed to be said. She was 100% correct. They should be a team, she isn’t a slave for him, whether or not she is making money.

- - mom110765 said
  - 01 Feb 2022
    11:36 am
things were not going to improve, they were going to get worse as she would have 2 babies in the house instead of 1. With him gone things maybe hard for awhile but she will get into a routine that fits her life. I did it with 5 children and yes the first 12 months was hard but I am not sorry of doing it on my own. She will become a stronger woman and very much loved mum

- - Lividanke said
  - 01 Feb 2022
    11:16 am
Sounds like he needs to grow up. I wouldn’t put up with his attitude & if he wants to run off to Mummy after his wife called him out (after listening to his complaining) then maybe he should stay at Mummy’s for a bit longer.

- - MumofOne said
  - 01 Feb 2022
    10:32 am
She broke his heart?! Bi*ch please! That poor woman is definitely going to be better off without this narcissistic jerk pushing her down. And he’s gone running home to mummy after she spoke up for herself. He needs to stay gone.

- - BellaB said
  - 01 Feb 2022
    9:21 am
I’ve been thinking about “it doesn’t matter how you feel…” and that’s SUCH a bad sign for the future. Everyone is going to have days where they’re not so great, and if he can’t handle a little thing like checking the windows, how much help is he going to be when she’s really ill? Not just pregnancy wise, but ill with a baby or small child…