Learning to say 'yes thank you'!

Something I have noticed about myself lately. Being a woman and a mum you spend a lot of your time giving. Children and partners want and need a lot of nurturing and attention. It is a primal instinct for us to give in this way. A part of who we are as women. Maternal. To be honest, we love it. It in a sense makes us feel complete. Needed.

As soon as we open our eyes in the morning there is something to be done for someone else.

Change your baby’s nappy. Get the morning bottle ready. Grab your partners work socks off the line. Open the fridge and start to organise breakfast, lunches and even dinner. All before 7am… whoa I could go on all day!

What I have discovered in myself lately is I am very good at giving. And I really enjoy it as well. It makes me feel in control. Organised. Independent. A good mum. A helpful friend. It enables me to overall feel good about myself. Perfect.

Although there are two sides to every story aren’t there? Receiving. Now that is something I have discovered I am not good at all. Opposite to what I feel when giving is what I feel when receiving. When I am on the receiving end I feel almost uncomfortable. Out of my comfort zone and completely unable to take a compliment!

So I have spent some time lately really looking at this. Why do I find it so hard to receive?

Receiving somehow makes me feel like what I am doing isn’t good enough and that I need help. ‘Want me to vacuum the house for you?’ Instead of saying, Yes please that would be wonderful, somehow I hear, ‘Wow your house is dirty you need my help!’ So I say in response, ‘No that’s fine I’ll get to it later!’ Silly silly.

Giving & receiving are both the sharing of love. And I am allowed to be loved. And so is the person who is trying their hardest to give to you.

When you don’t receive well you are stopping the person giving to you receiving all the good feelings of giving. You are denying them the feeling that you love when you give. Not very fair.

So next time your partner comes home with fish and chips but you are already cooking dinner simply say thank you and be grateful.

Dinner is better eaten the next day anyway! When asked do you want anything from the shops from a friend say, yes please that will save me a trip later! When my mother in law asks if we would like her to babysit while we have a night out say, awesome thank you very much!

I would love to hear your stories about giving and receiving mums! Please share your comments below.

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23 Comments

- - mom81879 said
  - 21 Nov 2015
    1:15 pm
I’m the same. I get all defensive when someone offers me help. I’m all ” i didn’t ask for your help, if I needed your help, I would have asked.” I need to learn to say yes thank you

- - maryphilip said
  - 17 Jun 2015
    11:00 am
Very true, when ever someone say do you need a hand with that or this all I think was “what you think I can’t handle it?”. So I would say “No thank you, I can do it myself”. Silly I know. Great article to read.

- - mom125971 said
  - 24 May 2015
    9:10 am
yes, this is so true! it has taken me a while to realise this, but we mums cannot do everything ourselves. It is not a sign of weakness or failure if we ask for help or say “yes’ when it is offered. Great article!

- - Mum of 5 darlings :) said
  - 21 May 2015
    9:56 pm
This is a great article. I am so proud that the 5 of my children all use their manners very well. I believe that it is your option by the way that you raise them.

- - mom138374 said
  - 21 May 2015
    8:35 pm
I agree and think pride can get in the way of accepting help, however having a tiny baby soon, I would happily let my mum or sister cook dinners to ensure I get enough rest.

- - mom113055 said
  - 13 May 2015
    4:06 pm
it s just great

- - mom107723 said
  - 12 May 2015
    1:14 pm
Manners are the best thing you can teach a child, along with that comes a respect for others.

- - caramello said
  - 30 Apr 2015
    5:11 pm
very true. thanks for sharing

- - smiles said
  - 25 Apr 2015
    3:53 pm
It’s so true sometimes you feel very deflated when someone doesn’t accept something that you want to give.

- - mom57665 said
  - 18 Apr 2015
    1:44 am
I love giving I truly think our sole purpose in life is to give to our children

- - crystalangela said
  - 08 Apr 2015
    8:29 pm
This is so true.
I guess that because we give so much and barely ever get a thank you or good job it is weird to hear.
Also very hear offers of help so another reason why when we do hear it we question the real motive.

- - mom108638 said
  - 06 Apr 2015
    8:23 pm
I wanted to buy a bike, I was looking at secondhand, cheap bikes. My Husband said ‘No You deserve a brand new bike”. I love my new bike, and I love that every time I look at it I know that my Husband loves and values me.

- - mel1 said
  - 02 Apr 2015
    6:25 pm
Great article. I am a bit like that, giving but not good at receiving. Its true you deprive others from giving if you refuse to receive! I will keep this in mind and say yes more often when others offer to help. I don’t have to do it all myself to be perfect all the time.

- - cherz said
  - 25 Mar 2015
    4:44 pm
Always nice to receive but I must admit I feel better when I give.

- - rachaelchara said
  - 25 Mar 2015
    9:58 am
I never ask for help as I don’t want to put anyone out by helping me. I would rather do things myself.

- - ralu said
  - 24 Mar 2015
    10:42 pm
Good article , as mums sometimes we want to do everything.We have to learn to receive and say ” yes , thank you!”.A little time for yourself is just what you need.

- - mom57522 said
  - 24 Mar 2015
    9:19 pm
I’m very lucky, hubby likes to vacum the floors. It’s not perfect but, I can over look that!
- mom93821 replied
  
  25 Mar 2015 , 4:18 am
  Definitely a bonus! Definitely a Yes please to vaccuuming!
- - mom94125 said
  - 24 Mar 2015
    2:07 pm
yep say yes more and it will open up more opportunities for you

- - mom113712 said
  - 24 Mar 2015
    1:57 pm
I have been thinking the same thing a lot the last couple of weeks. I have just come to the conclusion that if my mum offers to have the kids then let them go with her and have a some to me. And I have to say that sometimes you just need to ask for help because we cant always do everything

- - mom93821 said
  - 24 Mar 2015
    1:52 pm
I love both giving and receiving and am happy to give and receive. Being able to receive is about giving up being perfect and letting someone else give and also help out. The bonus is it also adds to free time for other fun activities. Also being able to take a compliment without analysing is a wonderful thing.