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10 Answers

My 9 yr old son made a new friend at his sport the other day and it happens to be a female which is fine by me.
They chatted and talked for a while, then her mum approached my husband and asked for his phone number so the kids can catch up and maybe call each other which my husband gave her his number.
When my son came home he told me he had made a new friend and he told me all about her. I said that was excellent and that I could not wait to meet her the next week. My husband received a message that afternoon from the girl mum, and I thought wow that is pretty soon after just meeting. I understand the girl goes to a small school and may not have a lot of friends but my mother instinct went that is pretty soon after just meeting I would have thought a few weeks of catching up at sport before she sent a text message. My husband told me she seems like a very strong forward girl.
My sons poppy thinks I am being a bit crazy and does not think anything is wrong with it, he had a chat to the girls mum and is happy to let them spend sometime together,I don’t see anything wrong with them being friends and catching up at the sporting ground and maybe catch up somewhere else in the future but not after they have just meet.
As a mum I just found it a bit stalker like and a bit quick to be making contact after only meeting a few hours earlier.
Am I being too overprotective?


Posted anonymously, 5th March 2019


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  • Children don’t keep the same social timelines as adults because they don’t have the history of relationships that adults have. Talk to your son about what makes him comfortable and uncomfortable and have play dates when you are nearby. Maybe a safe word that he can say anytime he wants to leave and a no questions from you escape


  • Go with your gut. When it’s too quick for you just hold of a bit. And when you’re ready and feel for it you could suggest a catch up in a park so you get to know the mum before going into play dates.


  • I would be protective too!


  • All parents are different when it comes to their children’s friends and play dates. Just do whatever you feel comfortable with. Don’t feel pressured into more than you want.


  • I think its great because everyone need friends and if parents seems friendly and your child is comfortable around them , then there is no harm in making friends at their own pace. Some are instant like this one , and some takes awhile so it depends if you have something in common or not in my opinion. Swap phone numbers, and get to know the parents if you want to be extra careful.


  • I assume it would be a fully supervised play date… so what is the worst thing that could happen while you or your husband are around?


  • Maybe the mother is just happy her daughter has a friend…..maybe this girl has NEVER had play date offers before. Just go with it. As a Mum if my children had got to 9 years old with out a friend wanting them to catch up outside of school I would jump at the chance and be over the moon.


  • Maybe a tad over protective. Maybe they’re new to the area and are reaching out. You say the daughter goes to a small school, maybe tge mum thinks she needs to expand her social circle. Whatever the reason, you have control over when and where they next meet up. So what is your issue exactly?


  • Go with your gut instinct, mothers know best, and should be able to choose how and when and what their child should do, or who they see, after all that is what you are there for to protect and nurture. Meet at the sports only for quite awhile until you get to know the whole family properly. Too keen is a red flag for me. Good friendships develop slowly. Never feel guilty about your choices either I stuck to my guns all the way with my son and got accused of being over protective by my own mother at times, but I felt I knew what is right for my child and times are different now than when it was for our parents and grandparents, we do need to be more cautious.


  • I honestly think that she was just touching base with him. It’s great that he has meet a new friend that has the same interests as him. It sounds like they got on like a house on fire. In my opinion I would just let them be kids and be friends. Maybe the girl has no one at her school that shares the same interests?


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