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Love her or hate her, controversial blogger, Constance Hall, often shares some great advice for mums that really help us feel so much more normal.

Constance recently turned to Facebook to share her own experience with post natal anxiety to help other struggling new mums feel like they weren’t losing their minds.

Constance wrote: “Something happens to me every single time I have a baby.

I get visions, not like “I see dead people” but I imagine horrible visions of horrible things happening to my baby.

Getting run over, falling over any balcony.

It gets to the point where I can’t walk past a table without envisioning dropping the baby on the corner of the table and cracking its head open.

I have never dropped a baby and my babies sure as shit don’t spend anytime on a drive way waiting to be run over.

The first time it ever happened, with my first baby, I went to the doctor because I was so confused, I felt scared and I felt guilty for putting horrible visions into the world.

But if I was boiling water on the stove I’d get a vision that it would fall on my baby somehow I needed to talk to someone.

My GP, a mother herself told me that what I was explaining had plenty of different names but was essentially post natal anxiety and it was very common.

The doctor told me to look after me more, get as much sleep as I can and let her know if it gets worse, because despite being common it generally fades off as the baby gets older and if it gets worse I might need more help.

So it’s back again, my old friend post natal anxiety. It’s isn’t debilitating at all, it doesn’t effect my parenting or my life but I do ask my husband to be the one to carry Raja down the stairs and crossing a road simply because my paranoid superstitious mind tricks me into thinking that I’m inviting an accident by envisioning one all the time.

I shared an Instagram story about this the other day and hand on my heart I’ve never had so many responses to a story. Common is an understatement, a lot of us are suffering from this form of anxiety.

So really I just wanted to give a shout out to all the new mummas out there and let you know that it does get better, it feels bloody great to talk to a doctor about it, just like getting a papsmear or annual bloods, your mind needs to be taken care of with love and support.

You are not alone, I am with you, your baby is safe and your shitty visions are there to remind you that this love you feel for your baby is overwhelmingly strong.

You were born with extreme instincts to keep that baby safe and sometimes they go in overdrive.

Babies are born with nothing, no possessions or knowledge, all they are born with is us. We are their birthday present from the universe.

And every time I look at my son all I see from him is gratitude.

Please look after, love, praise and take time for you, ask your village for help.”

Her post has gone viral with over 21,000 shares and thousands of comments.

This post from Anna Mathur, Psychotherapist, Mum, Mental health writer & speaker resonates the same message too. Must read!

She writes: “What if I fell down the stairs right now? I could push that guy under the bus. I could swerve my car and cause a pileup.

“Flashes of thoughts run unprompted through my mind, playing out vivid worse case scenarios. I see myself flying down the stairs carrying a child or purposefully crashing my car on the motorway. You wouldn’t notice the tiny grimace and shudder that sweeps across my body as the thoughts move through my head. I used to be utterly ashamed, thinking there must be something wrong with me. I avoided driving for almost ten years as I felt overwhelmed by thoughts that assaulted my imagination. I must be crazy.

“These intrusive thoughts happen to MOST of us (94% off you as per my Insta poll today), often heightened by anxiety and depression. Yet nobody talks about it because they are horrified by their own thoughts.

“I want to normalise things for those of you who experience this and have never spoken about it. Intrusive thoughts DO NOT reflect who you are, they DO NOT reflect your personality. You are NOT crazy.

“The thought itself isn’t a problem, it’s what you do with it, whether you engage with it, let them dictate your wellbeing, and add narrative..that’s what makes them problematic. We can fear them and desperately push them away, which often makes them enter more frequently.

“When they cause distress and action is taken to avoid triggering or acting on them, that may be veering into OCD and would benefit from support. You’d also benefit from support if these thoughts feel traumatic or linked to past events. So, when a thought strikes you, leave it alone to pass and wilt. Know that you’re not mad, you’re not bad, you’re normal.”


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What if I fell down the stairs right now? I could push that guy under the bus. I could swerve my car and cause a pileup. Flashes of thoughts run unprompted through my mind, playing out vivid worse case scenarios. I see myself flying down the stairs carrying a child or purposefully crashing my car on the motorway. You wouldn’t notice the tiny grimace and shudder that sweeps across my body as the thoughts move through my head. I used to be utterly ashamed, thinking there must be something wrong with me. I avoided driving for almost ten years as I felt overwhelmed by thoughts that assaulted my imagination. I must be crazy. These intrusive thoughts happen to MOST of us (94% off you as per my Insta poll today), often heightened by anxiety and depression. Yet nobody talks about it because they are horrified by their own thoughts. I want to normalise things for those of you who experience this and have never spoken about it. Intrusive thoughts DO NOT reflect who you are, they DO NOT reflect your personality. You are NOT crazy. The thought itself isn’t a problem, it’s what you do with it, whether you engage with it, let them dictate your wellbeing, and add narrative..that’s what makes them problematic. We can fear them and desperately push them away, which often makes them enter more frequently. When they cause distress and action is taken to avoid triggering or acting on them, that may be veering into OCD and would benefit from support. You’d also benefit from support if these thoughts feel traumatic or linked to past events. So, when a thought strikes you, leave it alone to pass and wilt. Know that you’re not mad, you’re not bad, you’re normal xxx This is a throwback post that spoke to so many people. It’s such a taboo topic that I wanted to throw it out there again for those who hadn’t seen it. It’s been on my mind a lot recently and now there’s more of you, there’s more of you who need to hear this.

A post shared by MAMAS_SCRAPBOOK (@annamathur) on

Share your comments below

  • Yes I agree with her that it depends on what you do with these thoughts. As long you’re able to have control over these thoughts I agree you’re ok, but one step over the line and you might not be in control and depending on the content of the thoughts this can be dangerous. Also important to check if these thoughts align with reality.

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  • I would have said this problem is debilitating. Obviously others may not agree with me

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  • I do not follow her but this seems good information. It helps others to realise they are not alone.

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  • I feel for her and wish her all the best

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  • Hard to know how each of us will react and differently with each birth. We all need to be kind to those that suffer.

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  • Glad this topic gets more attention lately.
    Constance writes “You are not alone, I am with you, your baby is safe and your shitty visions are there to remind you that this love you feel for your baby is overwhelmingly strong”.
    I don’t agree with this. Postnatal anxiety is just one step away from postnatal psychosis, in which case you may find that your baby IS NOT SAFE and that you may experience love and hate for your baby at the same time and the desire you throw your baby down the stairs or balcony or to smother it with a pillow or blanket when it cries.
    Always seek medical attention when you experience feelings of depression, anxiety or psychosis !

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  • WOW – I am normal! Thank goodness for that. I’ve been irritated by these involuntary thoughts and thought motherhood pushed me over the edge of sanity.

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  • It’s always interesting to listen to other peoples journeys.

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  • Definitely need more reassurance for Mums. Becoming responsible for another human is daunting.

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  • This Constance Hall pops up a lot on MoMs. Half the time she’s controversial and other times mums love her to bits.

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  • I had no idea this even existed U til I came across Constance’s post about it. Very scary and stressful sounding anxiety for sure. I love that she’s not afraid to share the Nitty gritty stuff to help support others.

    Reply

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