This is my face after 34 years on the planet thinking I had to be boring and fit in, shares mum of two Kat Abianac.
I learned that was what I needed to do (mostly) after being diagnosed with all sorts of things from the age of 4 onwards.
ADHD. Gifted and talented. Trichotillomania. Anxiety induced OCD. Anger issues. Regular panic. Doesn’t understand the humans. Behavioural problems. Randomly kicks doors in. Poor attention span. Lazy. Hyperfocused. Reads too much. Doesn’t do schoolwork. Either doesn’t get along with the real life humans or gets along with them unequivocally regardless of their behaviour. Brings out the ‘best’ in bullies then gives double what she gets. Reads 300 books for MS Readathon while failing most high school classes after entering as a straight A primary student.
Turns out I’m autistic.
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Not ‘just’ autistic like ‘everyone’s a bit autistic’ yeah no they’re not.
Actual autistic that I’m super stoked about because it explains so much about who I was, who I am and who I’ll be.
Isn’t that a win?
So for those of you who know me and think well yeah but that’s you but the autism I see is different..
I got diagnosed at 34. THIRTY FOUR.
Don’t assume you knew what my childhood was like. Or my teenage years. Don’t assume ANY of my journey. I’ve never spoken about it.
Celebrate your daughter’s diagnosis. Ask more questions. Take her to the right specialists. Ignore the many, many ignorant people who will try and ‘reassure you’ the girl is normal.
Last week I was told by a ‘friend’ there’s no way on God’s green earth I’m autistic and any doctor who would diagnose me was a quack and it wasn’t worth the paper it was written on. (This was just before I was assessed.. and I’m not someone people generally find it ok to talk smack to.)
Imagine what your undiagnosed daughter will be told as she starts to try exploring this minefield unsupported and alone. Go and help her. Or get yourself diagnosed.
Every girl diagnosed young is another woman who doesn’t have to question her fundamental DNA for many years.
What does this mean for my family? It means I’ll have better methods to cope with complex emotions and experience less insomnia and panic.
What does this mean for my business? It means I’m already booking in workshops to reconnect with people after months of isolation.
What does this mean for my marketing business? Well nothing. My clients are amazing and pretty sure they don’t care about much that goes on with me other than their results.
What does this mean for my friends? It means I’ll be boundary setting harder than ever.
I hope you choose to come with me on a path of exploring more deeply what this means for my life, knowing myself and how I can show up and serve you best in all I do.
Thankyou for following me and believing in me when I never understood why, and still don’t really.
I feel I have carved out my own little niche right here- a judgement free platform where we lift everyone as we rise, and I love you for it.
We recently shared a post from The Conversation, “Girls have ADHD too – but here’s why we may be missing them”. Read all about it here.
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