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A new mum has shared her list of strict rules for visiting her newborn, including the expectation that guests do chores and bring gifts from an approved list.

The detailed set of dos and don’ts has led to other mums accusing the woman and her husband of ‘cash grabbing’ and being ‘entitled’.

The 34-year-old new mum gave birth on Christmas Day, but months before her baby boy was born, she and her husband sent out a list of rules for visiting the bundle of joy. They included:

1. Up to date on ALL vaccines

2. If you feel anyway sick don’t visit

3. Let us know a week before hand so we can arrange a day/time

4. No smokers

5. No phone calls or visits between 7:30pm-10pm

6. You can only stay an hour

7. No picking up the baby without consent

8. No advice

9. No perfume/deodorant

10. No is no we won’t explain why

11. No pictures to be taken or posted on social media

12. If you visit the first time you will be expected to give mum (me) a gift card and a gift for baby from our approved list

13. Before you ever come, no matter how many times, you will be given a list of a either food or groceries to bring with you, AND a chore list to do a chore of your choosing

14. No more than two visits a week, per person

Husband puts family in ‘time out’

The new parents say the aim of the rules is to reduce the amount of visits and visitors, and to treat everyone equally. But it’s caused a sticky situation with her family (surprise, surprise!).

“My sister in law studies in a different part of the country and is rarely home,” she explained on reddit. “She asked to visit last week before she had to go back to school, so we set up a date with link to our gift list than sent her the takeout we’d like including the chores she can choose from.

“She immediately texted back saying she’s broke and can she do extra chores instead. Me and my husband talked about it and came to the decision that if we bent the rules for one person everyone would want the same treatment.

“We told her no that we were very clear about our rules and maybe next time she could visit. She begged even said would clean the whole house because it would be June before she’s would be home again and we simply texted no. She didn’t reply. She left this morning and we got multiple texts for my in laws belittling us for using our child as a cash grab, my husband simply replied it was our rules and no one deserves special treatment then told his family they were on a time out and blocked them.

“Since then my family and our friends have told us we were wrong because she is a broke collage student and they would have understood if we looked the other way once. We have tried reaching out to his sister but she won’t reply.”

The mum is now wondering whether they should have ‘bent the rules’ for her sister-in-law.

Other mums lashed out at the woman’s set of rules, calling her ‘entitled’.

“Your rules went from 0 to 60. Like smoking and vaccines, yeah. But gift cards and chores? The entitlement is strong with this one,” one commenter wrote.

“You’re using your baby as a cash grab. Gifts – for the baby and especially the mother – are something guests should bring as they want and on their own terms. Not as a mandate.”

What do you think? Should she have just let her sister-in-law visit the baby? Let us know in the comments below.

  • It was all sounding normal and if anything just honest from new parents who may be exhausted until the last 3 points!

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  • Wow, where are the days where you just call and visit a friend and new bub. This one, I will give it a pass.

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  • I agree with a lot of these rules but asking for gifts and wanting your guests to do chores is just taking it way too far!

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  • Wow, that’s insane! The first few rules are pretty standard but expecting people to bring gifts, food and do chores? And then actually refusing someone a visit? They should be happy she wanted to come in the first place!

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  • Gold digging, rude, lazy, entitled people, I’d give them time out for the rest of my life

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  • I think that situation was unique. I’m just wondering what they might do if they need help or support from someone. They might find it’s not there.

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  • Most of it is pretty standard but only allowing visits from those who bring gifts, food (from registries no less) and complete dejected chores, this whole bit is utter craziness. I’m honestly appalled by this whole thing.

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  • ridiculous, rude, mercenary and greedy! Seriously, I am all for a few rules like ‘ring dont just turn up unannounced’ and of course ‘dont come if you re sick’, and most people are polite enough to ask before taking even a photo, but the parents to demand gift cards for both baby and mumma?!!! No I’m sorry, this is one princess diva greedy pair.

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  • Yes how ridiculous. But if I was the sister in law I’d be staying clear of such snobs. Ignore them and they might have to rethink their silly rules

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  • This new generation are beyond unbelievable. OMG ???? how many rules – and so outrageous indeed.
    To be honest if I was related to this couple, they can count me out to visit. Keep your ridiculous rules – sorry I pass.

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  • Seriously. I honestly can’t believe that people can be so unbelievably thoughtless and just plain stupid. This article got my blood boiling. No sense of hospitality towards guests and no respect towards family. I honestly wonder what type of child these two are going to raise. seriously unbelievable. The fact that they even had the nerve to ask for takeaway. I seriously can’t. Their wrong except for vaccines and illness.

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  • Always adhere to the parents wishes! Terrible accidents happen all the time and with mothers or fathers with intense anxiety, this is one thing you can do to help them!!

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  • Mmmm It comes down to values. Things and gifts must be highly valued by this couple.

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  • A few rules are very sensible. I can understand not wanting heaps of people at the same time to disrupt the routine/household but if they didn’t want anyone to visit why didn’t they say so. This reminds me of a friend who said to me “your gifts to my daughter are nice but she would rather have and then named all the most expensive toys at that time” From that day her daughter got nothing as I was not going to go into debt for a toy that would be put in a cupboard in a few days. People cant be expected to spend above their means. Or be treated like a employee

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  • I can’t believe that their family even followed those self entitled rules! I’ve never heard anything so ridiculous in all my life. Who do they think they are?? I wouldn’t visit of it was me. Sisterinlaw hasn’t lost out really, they have!!!

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  • Well, I guess that’s one way to make sure you don’t get any visitors!
    Cut the list back a bit to
    maybe a couple of things that are really important, like vaccines and then trust that your visitors have good intentions.

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  • So entitled! I get the vaccinations and no smoking, but most of the others are just disrespectful to demand that from others.

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  • If I was the sister in law, I wouldn’t even want to see them. It’s just plain rude to expect gifts and people should be grateful for anything they are given. The family should have put THEM on a time out.

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  • Good on her for setting boundaries. Wish I had been so strict

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  • Rules 12 and 13 are a bit much. And not allowing the sister to visit because she didn’t have money for a gift card, gift or take out is ridiculous! I don’t like visitors when I have a baby, but there’s no way I would expect them to pay for entry! If I wanted someone to pick up milk or take out for me I would either transfer the money first or pay them back upon arrival

    Reply

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