A first-time-mum says she feels ‘500%’ uncomfortable with her in-laws and her husband’s grandparents staying at her home after her baby’s birth.
She says she and her husband grew up in the area they currently live in, and her own parents and extended family still live in the same area. But two years ago her husband’s parents and grandparents moved eight hours away.
Now the couple are expecting their first baby together, and her in-laws want somewhere to stay when they visit.
“His family wants to stay in our home when the baby is born to meet baby for a few days within the first two weeks after birth. I am 500% uncomfortable with this,” she explained on reddit.
“I’m very shy and introverted. I’m not going to feel well enough to host people #1, #2 I’m not ok with our family bonding time being disrupted by having guests around 24/7 who are going to be all over baby and #3 those first weeks are so important for building a routine and there’s no way to do that with overnight guests here.
“He says we don’t need to ‘play host’ – they will cook/entertain themselves. I don’t want people cooking in my kitchen two weeks after giving birth, I want to be able to use our kitchen for US freely, without other people in the way or feeling judged or like I have to put on some kind of show. As far as ‘they’ll entertain themselves’ – yeah they’re going to want to be entertained with OUR BABY the whole time, which again during those first few weeks I’m not comfortable with giving up our time with baby for other people 24/7.”
The frustrated expecting mum says she’s fine with family visiting, as long the time is limited and she feels comfortable enough for visitors.
“I’m happy to have people over for a few hours, ESPECIALLY parents and grandparents. My parents will come to meet baby, but they will come when they’re invited and go home after. I’m fine with his family coming to the area and staying in a hotel – but not ok with them coming over ALL day EVERY day while they’re here. They can visit just like other family members, and like my parents will do.
“Not to mention that my mum already said when she comes, she’ll say hi to baby and then cook/clean/do laundry – she’s coming to help and to support us in bonding with our child by taking loads off of our shoulders, not just to hog baby.
“My husband says I’m the a**hole because it’s unfair that his fam should pay for a hotel and not even be able to spend the whole visit with baby.”
“He says it’s not fair that my family will get to meet baby sooner. His fam CHOSE to move six hours away. I have no issue with them coming to meet baby, but I’m not comfortable hosting people in our home, being present for my healing time after labor, disrupting our bonding time and disrupting our routine within those first two weeks.
“I want his family to come visit and meet baby, but they can do it like everybody else does – they don’t get special treatment and they don’t get the right to make me uncomfortable after giving birth just because they decided to leave their son.
“I get how it might sound selfish, but this is our first child and I’m GIVING BIRTH so I’m conflicted.”
Do you think this expecting mum is doing anything wrong? Let us know in the comments below.
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