'My MIL Is Planning To Get My Baby's Ears Pierced Behind My Back'

A sneaky mother-in-law is conspiring to get her granddaughter’s ear’s pierced, despite the baby’s mum being against the idea.

So now the concerned mum has put her foot down, no longer allowing her mother-in-law unsupervised access to the 10-month-old.

“Since she was born my MIL has been on at me asking me when I’m going to have her ears pierced. My daughter will not be having her ears pierced until she asks for it (so definitely not yet when she can’t even speak). She says it’s hypocritical of me considering all the piercings I have (several piercings on both ears, plus my nose), but my own mother wouldn’t let me even get my earlobes pierced until I was 10.”

The 31-year-old mum says her mother-in-law allowed her own daughters to have their ears pierced when ‘they were tiny’, claiming it’s better to do it when they won’t remember it. The mum’s husband supports whatever decision she makes, particularly because she’s the one who’ll have to clean and care for the piercings.

‘My family thinks I’m overreacting’

But since laying down the law, the mum says her sneaky mother-in-law has been looking for ways to get the baby’s ears pierced, without her permission.

“So a few weeks ago, MIL was looking after the baby for us because I was going with my husband to his uncle’s funeral. As I was coming down the stairs I hear MIL talking to my daughter about how ‘they’re going to go out shopping and get her some pretty earrings’. I went into the room and told her in no uncertain terms that that would not be happening, and if I can’t trust her to respect my decisions about my own daughter I would find someone else to look after her (I managed to get my sister to watch her).

“MIL keeps trying to arrange to have her for a few hours, she even tried to offer to have her overnight so my husband and I can go out. I refused, I told MIL she could come and visit her, but I no longer trusted her not to get her ears pierced behind my back, so she would be seeing her supervised.”

But now the baby ban has caused a rift, with the mum’s husband and sisters-in-law saying she’s overreacting. And it’s left the mum wondering if she’s done the right thing.

What do you think the mum should do? Let us know in the comments below.

45 Comments

- - meedee said
  - 23 Jul 2024
    10:55 am
I say she has 100% done the right thing. Grandparents do not have the right to make those decissions and if they cant be trusted then you do not leave your children with them. End of story.

- - ~Loui~ said
  - 01 Aug 2022
    12:23 am
These inlaws sound awful. They really should be respectful of your parenting decisions.

- - jekalouise88 said
  - 14 Mar 2022
    7:38 am
No. You’re standing up for your daughter’s bodily autonomy. Continue doing this. Forever.

- - alyise_ said
  - 14 Mar 2022
    4:17 am
Nope If you don’t take a stand you’ll lose control over so much. I’ve seen this happen before and it can get so nasty

- - ashna9 said
  - 11 Jan 2022
    6:13 pm
MIL is never left alone with the baby if she can’t be trusted!

- - Zmijka86 said
  - 09 Jan 2022
    3:39 pm
No way my mil will have any impact in things like that.

- - mom458929 said
  - 28 Dec 2021
    8:53 pm
I am.a mum who is in the same situation with mother in law who thinks she can do whatever and if I say no she tries to go behind my back to her son but in my case he does she her doing it, I say stick to your own parenting and ways if you sa u no than it’s no, my mum had mine done when I was 6mths old I personally think it’s wrong id wait I have 2 daughters one who asked when she was 7 and we did them but she had alot of trouble and my youngest daughter who is coming up 11 asked for hers to be pierces for Christmas which we did and no troubles so far, both my girls asked I never forced them it was their choice when they were ready.

- - tessie said
  - 22 Dec 2021
    10:23 am
Stick to your guns. This is your daughter and your MIL needs to back off about the earrings. If your SIL are against you then don’t have anything to do with them either. Depending on your MIL you could tell her that when she has her nipples pierced (and you get to see it being done for yourself) then say you’ll think about getting your daughters ears pierced. That may at least stop her from pestering you. It’s not like she gave birth to your daughter

- - becstalou said
  - 21 Dec 2021
    9:01 pm
I can’t believe anyone would think it’s acceptable to sneak around behind a parents back and get their ears pierced. You can’t leave your baby with anyone you don’t trust.

- - lizviz69 said
  - 21 Dec 2021
    1:33 pm
NOPE! NOPE! and just NOPE! it is your little girl and your Mother-in-Law has no rights what-so-ever to get her grand daughters ears pierced – Hands off and let your Daughter-in-law and Son decide if they ever want to get their daughters ears pierced!

- - smart_ass said
  - 21 Dec 2021
    11:49 am
It’s her child – should be the decision for the parents to make together. MIL should stay out of it.

- - Forgetful Mumma said
  - 21 Dec 2021
    7:12 am
Slight difference between buying earrings and getting them pierced. But trust is a big thing here, and if you can’t trust the person with your child, don’t do it!
On a side note am I the only one wondering why the MIL wasn’t going to her own brother’s/husband’s brother’s funeral? Seems a bit weird to me, unless there’s more of a family rift there that’s not mentioned!

- - rovermum said
  - 20 Dec 2021
    12:49 pm
NO! NO! NO! People need to learn boundaries. It is absolutely not OK for your MIL to do that unless you have asked, organised, or are in agreeance. Absolutely NOT.

- - Amanda Holland said
  - 20 Dec 2021
    8:35 am
100% not over reacting. It’s her daughter so her choice, Mil needs to respect that. Over time I would allow her to babysit again with strict consequences if mil went and done it

- - mom476078 said
  - 19 Dec 2021
    11:25 pm
Not overreacting at all. I would not want my baby’s ears to be pierced, and people should respect how you wish to raise your own kid, be it about feeding, piercing, clothing, schooling whatever.

- - mom454032 said
  - 19 Dec 2021
    8:51 pm
I know if I was in this position I too would be mad ! The mother in law has no say in what you choose to do and what not to with your own child

- - jrobin260 said
  - 19 Dec 2021
    2:15 pm
The mother in law is totally in the wrong. I would not be letting her have unsupervised access to any of my children if that is the way she behaves! Not ok in any way shape or form. So sad that this woman thinks its ok to do something permanent with out the parents permission.

- - mom101628 said
  - 19 Dec 2021
    11:32 am
It’s her baby and MIL has no right to try to impose her will on her. If her husband doesn’t agree with his wife, then I can’t see this marriage lasting very long at all. Good luck for the future and hope it all turns out the right way.

- - mumof3 said
  - 18 Dec 2021
    6:53 pm
Wow that makes me so angry just reading this! The mum isn’t overreacting at all. Seriously I hate the excuse to get it while they are young so they don’t remember it. What if she grows up not wanting earrings?

- - sars_angelchik said
  - 18 Dec 2021
    5:00 pm
I’m with the mum and it’s not even about when they can ask for it for me- it’s a responsibility thing with me. My daughter is terrible with her jewellery now- she would just lose it. Totally against babies having it done.