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An expecting mum has detailed the underhanded and callous ways her sister has tried to steal the limelight, including announcing her pregnancy to family who were gathered at hospital supporting her through a miscarriage.

The 32-year-old woman says her 43-year-old sister Beth has a long history of tasteless behaviour, which started a decade ago.

“Ten years ago I learned I was pregnant for the first time,” she explained on reddit. “It was a little unexpected but my husband and I were so excited and we told our families. Beth was a mum of two at the time. Two days after my first ultrasound I started bleeding heavily, ended up passing out and discovered I had lost the baby.

“I called and told my family. My parents and siblings decided to come and see me. While I was on the phone with Beth she told me she was pregnant and wanted to tell everyone to make the bad news easier, and would I prefer for her to wait until they had left the hospital or would I like her to say it there.

“I told her I would appreciate her waiting until they weren’t in my room.”

But Beth didn’t listen – instead showing up at the hospital, and announcing her happy news. All while her sister lay in a hospital bed, devastated.

“She announced to the family around my hospital bed and made a big deal out of hugging every person there in celebration.”

“The rest of the family looked shell shocked and our sister closest in age to me, Chlo, asked if I was okay and asked if I wanted them to kick her out. I was too depressed to answer.

“A couple of years later I was diagnosed as infertile because I could not conceive again, even after we started trying. I told my family as a heads up because it got me down and I was trying to come to terms. Beth’s words were, ‘That’s aright because I’m pregnant’. Cue even more shock from the family and them scolding her for saying anything even remotely close to that.”

The woman says she now pregnant, thanks to IVF, but kept her fertility journey private.

“We kept quiet on our journey with IVF, our families knew we planned to pursue it but we didn’t give regular updates in case it failed, and waited until we got the positive pregnancy test to confirm. Babies were safe and still alive after my first scan and we decided that was the time for us.

“During a regular family dinner we made the announcement. Nobody knew it was coming. But during the announcement Beth jumps in and says she believes she could be pregnant again (she wasn’t) and wanted everyone to know.”

Now that the expecting-mum’s baby shower is being planned, she’s decided that she doesn’t want her older sister on the invite list – and it hasn’t gone down well.

“Chlo, my SIL (brother’s wife) and BIL (other brother’s husband) are throwing my shower. I told them I didn’t want to invite Beth. That I feared she would try to turn it into her celebration or make more insensitive comments. They all understood and said they agreed.

“Beth found out I was having a shower and tried to find out info. She was told that info was not being given out. Then she tried to corner Chlo, who told her that she, SIL and BIL had decided not to invite her (Beth) since she seemed to be unable to be compassionate to me or let me have a moment after a decade of struggling to have a baby.

“Beth then approaches me and I told her I didn’t want her there. She told me she’s my sister and I’m being childish and petty about it. Her husband then called me and said I was punishing Beth for having kids easily when I couldn’t. Am I the a**hole?”

What do you think about this situation? Let us know in the comments below. 

  • Sounds like her inappropriate behavior should have been “addressed” a long time ago. Did you ever confront her after your miscarriage? If you / your family have done that I don’t understand how she is still welcome at any kind of family celebration….

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  • Very sad, I wonder what drives her to do so

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  • Beth need to grow up and respect you and your decisions. She’s been horrible and selfish towards you. Don’t give in have the party without her.

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  • NTA at all. Good on you for setting boundaries! If your sister cannot let one day be about you, you have every right not to engage. Goodluck with the rest of your pregnancy and enjoy your baby shower!

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  • Oh that’s just horrible of her! You have every right to not want her there

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  • There’s one in every family. But really, there were some new lows in this story. I hope the baby shower was a lovely, stress free, Beth free event, enjoyed by all but especially mama to be

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  • You’re not the a-hole, your sister is. She’s an insensitive, uncompassionate, wicked creature. It is evident she only finds joy in taunting you. Well she’s gonna reap what she sows. I want to wish you love, joy, peace and happiness on the wonderful news of your pregnancy. I pray everything goes well for you and bub and that you have a smooth as possible delivery. Be strong and happy. Wishing you and your husband well as you become parents. You will both be great, I’m sure. God bless.

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  • As they say you can’t pick your family. You have a sister who is self absorbed, very imature and actually should be pitied. You are certainly within your rights to ostricise her from your baby shower. You are not an ‘ah’. Hopeful, one day she will grow up and show some sisterly love. I wish you every happiness. Enjoy your precious little on.

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  • Absolutely NTA!!
    The sister is disgusting.
    Even worse than my niece who is currently pregnant towards my SIL (her MUM) who unexpectedly also got pregnant just after niece found out she was pregnant.
    My SIL had a miscarriage which devastated her and her husband.
    So what does my niece do? Posts photos of her recent ultrasound and even tags her mum in them – all while she knew very well her mum was miscarrying and was hurting. I was so shocked at my nieces callous behaviour.

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  • These are the times in life that create a lifetime of memory which you can almost taste. I have seen first hand someone having a lost a child and the worst thing is you cant do a damn thing about it .You want to help but cant .Its just a time of pain. Only you can find the answer or maybe there is no answer you are not alone

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  • I wouldn’t want her there either. I honestly don’t know how someone can do something like that repeatedly. You deserve to have an amazing day without the worry of others trying to ruin it.

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  • At the start it sounded like an honest mistake thinking it might cheer up the mood. But then humping in everytime you had news to say she was pregnant? Nah you’re NTA

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  • You are not the a*^£ hole, she sounds like an ungrateful person who thinks of no one but herself…not too different to my sister. Stand your ground and don’t let her ruin your amazing celebration

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  • How selfish of your sister! You aren’t being an a**hole. You don’t need to invite your sister if you don’t want to and she’s being the petty childish one making a fuss about it. You deserve so much love around you, not someone who only thinks of themselves. The nerve for the husband to say YOU’RE punishing her. Wow. That’s next level low.

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  • Seems to me that your sister has a narcissistic personality and no tact – what kind of sister does that to her sister in such traumatic circumstances. You are well rid of her, your family can see what she has done to you over the years. Enjoy your baby and life without her toxic personality in it. ♥

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  • This is so terrible, some people just do not think before they act!

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  • She sounds like n absolute nightmare sometimes it’s best to keep your distance family or not to protect your own mental health

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  • I saw this on Facebook originally omg what a total jerk sister.

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  • Beth is definitely at fault. I personally would be cutting her out of my life entirely.

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  • The timing was definitely poor and could of been handled much better. That was completely wrong on her part

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