While they were still teenagers, our grandchildren living at home were studying full time, working part time and do their bits of house chores. They were not spoilt and helped around. So 18 yeara of age should help. Yes communication is the key and her husband should support his wife and bring the daughter in line. No wonder her own mother asked her to stay with her dad!!! It’s time to show tough love.

She’s 18 and been kicked out of home by her mum, maybe she’s feeling depressed? and you calling her lazy and a burden certainly wouldn’t be helping things. I understand you’ve done a lot for her and of course there needs to be some ground rules etc but even though she’s legally an adult she’s still very young and needs support more than ever. Communication is definitely key and your husband needs to be involved in this communication.

I think it’s time to have a discussion with your husband and lay out some rules that you both agree on with her living at your home then communicate those rules together with her and the consequences. But for goodness sake she is 18 and needs to come to terms that NO she is not entitled!!!!

Given that she’s 18, she should at least be paying board. I can only assume that she would be getting assistance from the Government. I worked at Domino’s when I was in uni- and that wasn’t online.

Good on you for welcoming her in your home, but from the start expectations & boundaries need to be communicated with her together with the parents

I dont think she is in the wrong, but is probably communicating it in a away not being received well by the 18 year old. Tough times ahead

More communication and guidance is needed. Perhaps this behaviour was allowed with her mum but you just need to communicate your house rules nicely

At 18 you still need guidance and love and care. Words can be so damaging. No one is right or wrong here, but they do need to work it out and set some boundaries. Maybe even some family counselling.

Yes you are wrong because at this age they need more support from the parents to help them improve themselves not thinking they are worthless!

18 year olds still need a lot of ‘guidance’. It sounds like they need to communicate some expectations and boundaries.

At 18, i moved to a whole new country leaving all my friends and family behind. My mum supported me and i did live rent free for a bit with an auntie but i tried to help out where i could.
Neways i was 19 when i started living on my own. I was working and studying. My point is sometimes people need a kick up the backside

I think having a family discussion would be best as everyone can say how they feel

Not sure with this one as the step mum has been accommodating and with her spending all her savings on her I think she should be more appreciative and pull her weight.
You can’t just quit a job after less than a handful of weeks there just because you don’t like your co workers. There is always going to be someone you don’t like for whatever reason but that’s not a reason to quit.

I was still growing up and figuring things out at 18. Be nice. A human brain is still developing until 25.

It sounds like a lot more is going on here than is described in the post. It is very difficult when teens are on that edge of adulthood, and I think a calm conversation about expectations between the two adults and the daughter might help.

I think this would be a hard situation to be in and we don’t really fully know what happens behind close doors. My neighbours are going through a similar thing at the moment and I see some of what she goes through.

I agree with the husband that she shouldn’t have said that to her. When her own children are this age they may be just the same and try her patience. This is just how some of them are as teenagers. Absolute pains. She is his daughter and should be welcome (as the stepmother said she was) as long as she needs. Unless things get dramatically worse you just have to keep up the effort to get her on the right track.