Negative Self Talk.... An insider's view

Have you ever had a bit of a chat to yourself? You know, the kind that sometimes is helpful, and sometimes not so much.

In recent years, I use my ‘inner voice’ like I’m Aretha Franklin (R.E.S.P.E.C.T), or even Beyonce (Who’ll run the world’?). Clearly my mantras are driven by strong, powerful women and their music. When I’m struggling through a run, or a 30 minute set on the stationary bike, I tend to use these mantras to get through it. I know how powerful the mind can be on the journey to health.

I was not always so strong, or determined, or even remotely motivated. My mantras were not always so positive.

Judging by most people I know or have met, I know that negative self talk is far more common than we like to admit… and god forbid we put it out there for the world to see. I’m sure there are plenty of times I have called myself a Fat Bitch, I’m sure that there are other women out there that have done the same…. Is it healthy? Is it acceptable? Is it right? Never. God, I’d hate to think about the names I’ve called myself over the years….

What about “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”? A mantra I used after I had my 2nd bub. I was much heavier than I anticipated (my last weigh in at about 38 weeks was 100kgs), and it really didn’t ‘fall off’ like it did with my first.

I’m sure it had something to do with the fruit tingles and coke that I craved (and ate) throughout the pregnancy.

The ‘nothing tastes’ mantra is from supermodel Kate Moss – not a particularly healthy individual, and certainly not someone to look up to when trying to be healthy. However, I used that mantra to convince myself that I was not hungry, particularly when I was not listening to my body and eating far too much. I had talked myself into being hungry all the time, regardless of when my last meal was, or my last snack.

Isn’t it funny how much your head can control? I no longer use the Kate Moss mantra… I simply listen to my body. I eat when I’m hungry.

Sometimes you have to talk yourself into the positive and out of the negative. There are so many cliché sayings out there, some are definitely ‘eye roll worthy’, but if something resonates with you then stick with it.

Maybe we should stop being ruled by the ‘number’…. The weight… the measurement…. And worry about our energy and our happiness.

While I’ve lost 43kgs, my body will never be perfect, but it’s what I’ve got to work with. It has taken me some time, I love it (don’t get me wrong, there are things I would change), but I appreciate that I have the energy to run around with my kids. You will never see a picture perfect me on Instagram. No playing around with our thighs to make a thigh gap, no airbrushing, no reducing our waist size. There are no make up artists or PR machines behind our brand. I really do keep it real.

Getting healthy is not always Kale smoothies and Acai bowls, despite what Instagram would have you believe…….

Be true to yourself. Love yourself. Enough of the comparisons.

SHARE your thoughts with us in the comments below.

16 Comments

- - Kate Sander said
  - 10 Mar 2016
    10:22 pm
Stick positive phrases/quotes on postit notes on mirror to read aloud everyday. Also you can say them whilst washing your hair or body. Even have them recorded on phone to listen to as you walk.

- - curlytops said
  - 07 Mar 2016
    9:51 am
i had not heard the mantra “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”

- - serotonin said
  - 03 Mar 2016
    10:05 am
This is something I’m working on. Negative thoughts create a negative reality, so I’m trying to really notice when I do it and to change the negative into positive as soon as possible.

- - ella12 said
  - 01 Mar 2016
    9:27 pm
Think of yourself in a good light – we are doing the best we can and that is enough.

- - mom71820 said
  - 26 Feb 2016
    5:48 pm
It is hard to be positive, but would you say those things to your friends? No, so you shouldn’t say it to yourself. Practice makes perfect.

- - coastalkaryn said
  - 12 Feb 2016
    1:22 pm
I am right onto this there is a website called http://www.rainybrainsunnybrain.com that is the bees knees!

- - Nas01 said
  - 03 Feb 2016
    9:04 pm
Great advise. It’s hard not to be negative but I think if we take breath and be positive we shall have positive consequences.

- - mom93821 said
  - 31 Jan 2016
    4:06 pm
Negative self talk makes you go backward or stand still, there is no going forward. Positive self talk along with other strategies helps with moving forward.

- - coastalkaryn said
  - 29 Jan 2016
    8:25 pm
agreed – a great positive post. I am struggling with anxiety and panic attacks at the moment, and Docs are not being much help… I will work on the positive self talk
- mom93821 replied
  
  04 Feb 2016 , 7:01 am
  Counsellors and Psychologists may be useful as they do specialise in these areas.
- - rachelvk said
  - 28 Jan 2016
    8:42 pm
Thank you for this open and honest article. It is sometimes very hard to love ourselves when we try and compare ourselves to others.

- - mom94125 said
  - 28 Jan 2016
    6:11 pm
yeah you have to love and appreciate what your body has done. congrats on losing so much weight. it is not easy!

- - mum4107 said
  - 28 Jan 2016
    5:43 am
I think for the first time in my life I am happy with me. I’m no supermodel but I am me.

- - mom160421 said
  - 27 Jan 2016
    6:43 pm
I just posted a comment in another article about our society being too superficial and it also seems appropriate for this article. Our society is too focused on how our bodies look rather than being grateful that they work. Our bodies, no matter what they look like from the outside, are miraculous and our only focus should be to stay healthy and take care of our bodies.

- - mom165081 said
  - 27 Jan 2016
    4:21 pm
Media saturation and health advice from role models who need many experts to advise them is more than a bit ironic. Yes, being true to ourselves and not seeking perfection is a great idea.
- Keep Sweatin replied
  
  27 Jan 2016 , 6:27 pm
  I’m a big believer in doing what works for you, and for most people that is very different things, our bodies all respond to different things. I look at so many gorgeous women who don’t see themselves that way – it is absolutely time to be a little more kind to ourselves. <3