Please don't say you're tired

I fell asleep in a bikini wax once. Yes a bikini wax. So I know what it feels like to be tired. Beyond the normal definition of tired and more like the kind that Hollywood celebrities check themselves into hospital for.

Exhaustion. If it could be measured, I was probably living for many years with the equivalent of 45 tequila shots in my system. Hazy, incoherent and with my physical and mental faculties severely impaired. Intoxicated with tiredness.

If the normal definition of tired is ‘fatigued or sleepy’, then I am looking for a new definition.

If you can fall asleep while someone pours hot wax on your nether regions and then rips away at half of your genitalia, it has gone slightly beyond fatigued. So if you are so tired that just because you are horizontal you could fall instantly asleep, then you know what I’m talking about. In the dentist chair, during the extended puppy pose or yes, even during a bikini wax.

“Mombie” is a good definition. Maybe I will start a crowd funding project for a Mombie Warehouse. It wouldn’t need to be more than comfy bed’s, darkness and silence. You could check in for a few hours, a few days. Whatever you need.

I know Mum’s are tired. It just comes with the territory. Tiredness is not a competition and I hate hearing people compare notes. Vent to your partner. Vent to your own mother, but don’t make it the general topic of discussion. It is boring and like stress, it becomes self fulfilling. The more you harp on about how tired you are and how many times you had to get up in the night and that you watch the sun rise every morning, it is just reinforcing your tiredness.

It is dragging you down.

Last night is done and there is another one coming, so positivity is always best.

Yes Mums of little bubs need to count their night feeds and stay on a schedule, but don’t focus on the fact that you woke at 11.52pm

and then AGAIN at 2.13am

and then AGAIN at 3.55am

and then lay awake until 5.59am when you finally fell asleep until your bub woke ready for its 6am feed.

No point.

If the average life expectancy of an Australian woman is now 84 years, when you throw in at least two kids then you should expect to be extremely sleep deprived for perhaps ten percent of your life. For many it is more. I am only just getting a full nights sleep as I pass 10 years since my first pregnancy. So unless someone can do something to help with your tiredness, don’t mention the war.

Get your partner to get up in the night, or let you sleep in when you can. Guilt free. Get someone to come and help in the day so you can power nap. Take an annual leave day to sleep. Yes an annual leave day. It will be worth it. Check yourself into a hotel for the night. Take up meditation or whatever makes you feel less tired. But please don’t talk about it with people who can’t actually help you out.

It is a global phenomenon and you are not alone.

So drink coffee, red bull, whatever.

Inhale more oxygen…eat protein…just do something.

And until I open my Mombie Warehouse, look forward not back.

Staying positive is always best.

Can you relate to this? Please share in the comments below.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.com

20 Comments

- - mom206279 said
  - 28 Apr 2017
    8:21 am
Dozed off donating blood and they FREAKED OUT.

- - mom63778 said
  - 04 Apr 2017
    9:13 pm
Yep, dozed off in the dentist chair whilst the dentist was drilling away doing filings

- - mom70876 said
  - 20 Jul 2016
    1:03 pm
Ironic this article spends a lot of time “bitching” about being tired then concludes with “stay positive”

- - mom#1 said
  - 05 May 2016
    2:28 pm
Story of my life! It’s nice knowing that others are in the same boat.

- - mom153507 said
  - 30 Apr 2016
    6:44 pm
I find nothing more therapeutic than a good old b**** session!
I get together with my girlfriends over a cuppa (or if we’re lucky a wine) & let loose on anything & everything that bothers us! & it feels like a weight has been lifted.
Bottling up your emotions can be quite damaging so if I am tired I will scream it from the rooftops if I want to. I won’t go on & on about it like a broken record but it feels good to let it out.

- - pakeko said
  - 29 Apr 2016
    9:56 pm
Some days you do need to say the words im tried not dwell on it but share

- - BellaB said
  - 29 Apr 2016
    12:28 am
This actually seems very unfair to people who just need five minutes of empathy to help them.

- - mom165081 said
  - 24 Apr 2016
    11:29 pm
We need to talk and share such experiences with other mums – nothing wrong at all with sharing tired stories over a cup of tea/coffee. Being able to talk about things like being an exhausted mum is so very healthy – keep it up!!

- - readingwishes said
  - 08 Apr 2016
    12:47 am
Just reading this article makes me want to go to bed! But again, it is 10:30 so…

- - lizgh said
  - 05 Apr 2016
    5:34 am
I have been so tired because of sleepless that after feeding the baby and back to bed I am having insomnia. I already fell sleep talking/listening a friend on the phone.

- - caramellosdream said
  - 03 Apr 2016
    6:00 pm
My twins turn 10 tomorrow and I feel your pain – I discovered though that at some stage I developed a medical reason for my exhaustion.

- - mom141033 said
  - 30 Mar 2016
    6:58 am
As a mum of 7, I completely understand being sleep deprived. I have taken an annual leave day to sleep… best thing ever. My husband is amazing and we work together as a team. He knows when I’m tired and know I can have little naps when I need them. I used to feel guilty, not rest thinking of all the things I could be doing… but now I take the opportunity when it arises as we all function better when we have sufficient sleep and rest!

- - mom93821 said
  - 26 Mar 2016
    12:46 pm
Venting with girlfriends over coffee is a bonding experience. Then up and on with it… 🙂 Nothing wrong with a good vent, sisterhood!

- - june11 said
  - 22 Mar 2016
    11:28 pm
At some point after a couple of weeks Mums need some decent sleep are they simply can’t function. If you are breastfeeding you can’t drink too much coffee or it will keep you awake when perhaps you may have managed an extra hour or so when your baby had a sleep. You can easily go to sleep while your baby is feeding otherwise. In fact some Mums do because they are sitting down and are so fatigued they shut their eyes for a few seconds to rest them, and end up alseep.

- - unicorn16 said
  - 22 Mar 2016
    9:50 pm
Yep amazing how us mums can survive and function on 3 hours of broken sleep. When you have a 20 mins asleep 20 mins awake night and day baby it is really exhausting. Whats more exhausting is listening to your husband complain about how tired he is because he only got 6 hours sleep last night.

- - Nas01 said
  - 22 Mar 2016
    2:28 pm
I so can relate and I do vent to hubby and my mum but your right, being positive is better than focusing on last nights lack of sleep.
- mom93821 replied
  
  13 Apr 2016 , 7:09 pm
  Everyone needs to vent at times! 🙂
- - Lori-Anne said
  - 22 Mar 2016
    2:06 pm
Can totally relate to your extreme fatigue. I have 3 weeks until my baby is being born via a planned C – Section & due to issues I am severely lacking sleep. I am doing my best to stay positive and keep on keeping on as such. Never fallen asleep during a bikini wax though (that’s a whole new level).

- - mom177588 said
  - 22 Mar 2016
    12:58 pm
Checking in for the Mombie Warehouse! A day of annual leave for sleep sounds fantastic, except I’ll feel guilty for being home and sleeping and not looking after my little boy.

- - serotonin said
  - 22 Mar 2016
    11:19 am
So true! Love the sound of a Mombie Warehouse, I’d check in for sure haha!