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Article Save MY sleep

By Lee-at Jacobson
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41 Comments

I am fantastic sleeper. I’ve even considered putting it on my CV. Lee-at has demonstrated exceptional sleep behaviours and is proficient at it both autonomously and in a team environment. 

Of course this has all gone out the window since babies arrived and I can’t remember the last time I slept through the night. Never mind the kids.

It’s a funny thing – sleep.

Free, natural, and at the core of who we are, yet as a parent it is one of the most talked about, debated and hypothesized topics of discussion it actually now just bores me to tears.

Yet, no matter how much I try to ignore it, it’s everywhere.

Like being asked the same stupid question for the kid’s first 12 months of life, “Is he a good sleeper?” Actually makes me want to punch people in the mouth.

Because they seem ok, then they regress, then you try some new method and that seems to work, then they regress again, then you try sleep school, that seems to work, then they regress again, then teething/illness throws the whole thing out, then you pay a sleep consultant to be bad cop, then you fail at it miserably, then you have a few good nights, then you don’t, then you try bribery, then you stop caring. Then you try bribery again. Then you have another kid. Repeat.

It’s exhausting.

So is he a good sleeper? I don’t know. It depends on the day.

The industry of sleep of course just feeds off our anxiety and need for this God given right with never ending products and services. It can make your head spin and your credit card cry but at 3am, you’ll try anything. Trust me, I’ve done it all.

From Save our Sleep, to a school for sleep, endless comforters, special clocks, fancy rockers and everything in between. I even saw a daytime TV ad for a series of books that apparently induce sleep! Seriously?! I’m just hangin out for semi-legal over the counter baby Xanax. One day…

But like all parents in denial, I’ve found reasons and probably excuses for his bad nights, like:

  • It’s the birds
  • It’s daylight savings
  • I think he’s teething
  • He’s going through a “leap”.
  • It must be another sleep regression

And on and on.

But then they enter toddler years and the whole sleep thing changes meaning because NOW they can get out of their bed and have a conversation (read: shouting match) with you.

Like, the other night, my 3 year old woke up at 4am and when asked why he couldn’t sleep, said “I’m sad”.

Like really?

You sleep in a car bed surrounded by Darth Vader and the entire Star Wars brigade of characters. You are warm, you are fed, you are loved.

And so finally I worked out why he was sad. He’d forgotten the name of Woody’s friend from Toy Story.

“Buzz Lightyear,” I try. “No.” Shakes head.

“Oh, maybe Jessie?”

His big eyes light up. Yes! Mummy nails her completely useless Disney general knowledge again.

Thank the lord, he didn’t ask about the double dissolution thing going on. Much safer ground here with Woody and co.

And so he toddles off happily back to bed, and I follow suit.

Crawling in, I notice that the other side is no longer occupied as husband is now dealing with the baby in the other room. I look at the clock and think to myself, morning sex, now that’s the holy grail. And I am little bit sad.

Can you relate to this? Please share your comments below.

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Comments

  • My youngest who is 4 months sleeps all night where as my 2 older ones who are 4 and 2 wake up 2/3 a night and always have done but even so im up during the night checking their ok i guess its just part of motherhood . When people say when your pregnant are you ready for lots of sleepless nights .. what do they mean i mean seriousley though whos ever ready to function with little to no sleep at all so to all those who ask are you ready for the sleepless nights … no i bloody well wasnt but ive survived and keep suriviving on broken sleep because as mums thats what we do right ? … sure theres times when we are ripping are hair out and grumpy af but the cheeky little smiles or those i love yous are worth every sleepless night in my opinion x

    Reply

  • I have the best sleeper in the world and it still means nothing. Haven’t had a good nights sleep in years.

    Reply

  • I only have one but don’t remember the last time I slept more then a 2 hour block ????

    Reply

  • I hear ya loud and clear.. the struggle is real lol

    Reply

  • It can be a struggle, we need to remind ourselves they arent little for long as hard as it is.

    Reply

  • Bang on! I’ve only got one son who is 12 months currently but the sleep is up and down and even when he sleeps through the night, I no longer do! I’m now pregnant with my second and my anxiety levels are already increasing about the lack of sleep coming my way with two under two!

    Reply

  • The struggle is real. I look forward to when they’re teenagers and don’t want to get out of bed at all.

    Reply

  • I’m desperate for a full nights sleep. My 14 month old just refuses to sleep through the night and the only thing that seems to settle her is a bottle in the middle of the night. My first daughter started sleeping through at six months so I’m just keeping my fingers crossed daughter number two eventually catches the sleep all night train.

    Reply

  • I think both bub and I could do with more sleep.

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  • Loved this post – especially the holy grail when hubby is no longer in the marital bed!!!
    I must be unusual because I never had these problems – my kids went to bed at a certain hour and they woke up about 6 am. My littlest one used to come and tell me in the morning that he had a bad nosebleed during the night and left the water in the basin so I could see how bad it was, but he medicated himself and went back off to sleep. How lucky was I???
    My children would tell me the following morning what they had suffered during the night, but they never woke me – I guess we were a pretty tight knot family and they knew I had to work to support us all and in their own way they assisted my endeavours.
    I still thank my lucky stars that they were like this.

    Reply

  • no sleep here either, they tag team us as well, little kids are jerks

    Reply

  • i used to have my 2 boys wake up every 2 hours around the clock and after doing that for several years even now i find it hard to sleep any longer than that i think once the bodyclock kicks in it is very hard to shake it

    Reply

  • As I see the problems my son has with his 2 yr sleeping , I think myself lucky my lot were sleeping by 2. Even my twin toddlers sorted out their sleep problem, it meant they sleep in a double bed to do it as they wanted to be with each other. The other children were self soothers apart from one the father of my grand daughter who slept pretty well from birth. He slept from 10pm to 7am from one week on. He is number 2 child, where as the others took a lot longer.

    Reply

  • Really? I found this article difficult to read because of the all the sarcasm dripping down the screen. New babies are magical, yet often intimidating creatures. When we introduce one to someone for the first time, or even the first few times, after the \”Gosh he has your nose\” chit chat has run dry, inevitably the sleep question pops up. Have you ever considered that this question is less about your child\’s sleep patterns than it is about your own? Have you even considered that is is more a \”How are YOU sleeping/coping/doing\”? Many people don\’t know how to broach this subject and find it easier to disguise it as a question about this new person your life now revolves around; because, you know, if baby is sleeping well, mama probably is too. Or maybe it isn’t and you should just be grateful that another human being has taken the time to have a chat with you. Babies attract people, even those who don\’t quite know what to say. If you can\’t cope with that then maybe you should invest in a sign along the lines of \”Does not engage in casual chit chat\”.

    Reply

  • Really? I found this article difficult to read because of the all the sarcasm dripping down the screen. New babies are magical, yet often intimidating creatures. When we introduce one to someone for the first time, or even the first few times, after the \\\”Gosh he has your nose\\\” chit chat has run dry, inevitably the sleep question pops up. Have you ever considered that this question is less about your child\\\’s sleep patterns than it is about your own? Have you even considered that is is more a \\\”How are YOU sleeping/coping/doing\\\”? Many people don\\\’t know how to broach this subject and find it easier to disguise it as a question about this new person your life now revolves around; because, you know, if baby is sleeping well, mama probably is too. Or maybe it isn\\\’t and you should just be grateful that another human being has taken the time to have a chat with you. Babies attract people, even those who don\\\’t quite know what to say. If you can\\\’t cope with that then maybe you should invest in a sign along the lines of \\\”Does not engage in casual chit chat\\\”.

    • whats with all the /// in this post? makes it very hard to read

    Reply

  • My kids are both good sleepers but for some reason im not because thats when i do all my thinking and cant get to sleep

    • Yeh, its tough trying to get the brain to quieten down. Know the feeling!

    Reply

  • lol, sleep I think it evades us all after having kids – just wait until they are 18 and roaming the pubs and you stay awake waiting for them to get home safe!

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  • Lol, so true ! And when you finally got to sleep your 10 year old wakes you up because he peed in his bed. And of course my hubby rolls over and never ever hears a thing, grrrr….sometimes I would just like to push him out of bed and confront him with the reality of night duties, hehehe !

    Reply

  • At least your husband wakes up!

    Reply

  • i had forgotten those days!

    Reply
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