Sibling Rivalry

“Will you two STOP it!”

This is all I find myself saying these days. I never thought sibling rivalry would start so young.

It is just horrendous some days. The jealousy, the hitting, the yelling, the crying, the screaming!

I have been told that sibling rivalry occurs more frequently in children who are closer in age…….well my two are only 14.5 months apart, so there you go!

The situation at times is very reminiscent of a swimmer at the beach, off in the distance there is a shark fin in sight and it is getting closer and closer. The swimmer reacts and starts thrashing about and screaming!

This is what happens here….Miss Z is playing with say, her doll house; Master M comes crawling in from the other room.

*cue the jaws music**

Miss Z catches him out of the corner of her eye, she begins to scream, a tantrum ensues; she jumps around and tries hitting Master M with anything within reach.

All the toys are “hers”, but Master M knows what he wants and will go after it. He is a tough cookie with a strong grip. He gives as good as he gets in a game of tug-o-war over a Dora doll.

There always seem to be strong competition for everything; our attention and affection, toys, food, the TV, you name it, it can get quite intense.

It is hard to come up with a solution or to reason with them when they are young and do not seem to understand.

I realise that the older they get the more their rivalry will change, it won’t disappear, just what they are competing for will be different. In their teenage years there will be fighting over friends, parental approval, compliments, academic and sporting achievements too. Trying to outdo each other in every way possible.

As my mum used to say to my brother and I when we were younger, and had been fighting and competing against each other ALL day:

“You two will grow up to love and appreciate each other one day!”

We laughed at the time but now I can say ,I guess she was right, Mum’s always are!

How do you remedy this sort of situation in your household? In particular if your kids started as young as mine.

89 Comments

- - callie said
  - 31 May 2013
    9:55 pm
I don’t know, my little sister is still into the rivalry and jealousy to this day!

- - tobysmummy said
  - 31 May 2013
    8:09 am
4 boys. Our house is a fun place!

- - redsage said
  - 30 May 2013
    2:56 pm
I wish there was a magical sharing pill that we could give children, but alas, I think it’s just what they do!

- - beagle said
  - 29 May 2013
    5:43 pm
It doesn’t matter what the age gap is – they’re at it constantly!

- - jaimilayt said
  - 29 May 2013
    3:47 pm
Two toddlers…both girls. Game on

- - solere04 said
  - 29 May 2013
    11:28 am
Its never ending in my house of 4 boys! But I’m sure they are learning great life skills in the process!

- - stakky32 said
  - 27 May 2013
    11:21 am
We outgrew it and are now great friends, though at the time we must have driven poor mum nuts with our fighting!

- - rdb5116 said
  - 22 May 2013
    7:57 pm
Is there even a way to settle sibling rivalry???!!!! As soon as school is done it starts and is getting worse the older they get. I am interested to how my 15 month old twins will be, there has been a few squabbles but nothing serious as yet

- - smiles said
  - 20 May 2013
    9:27 pm
It is interesting but if I play music like kids music or classical it seems to reduce the fighting. Weird I know but it does seem to work a little.

- - hopefullyheidi said
  - 20 May 2013
    11:20 am
Yes I would agree with the other mum who said she’s kind happy with her one child but dreams of telling them to leave their baby brother or sister alone.

- - jaimilayt said
  - 20 May 2013
    10:18 am
We call it baby smack down at home lol

- - wonda said
  - 19 May 2013
    10:14 pm
The verbal fighting is one thing, the serious kicking and punching that my boys are doing is taking sibling rivalry too far.

- - mouse said
  - 14 May 2013
    1:24 pm
I send each to a separate room to calm down and within 5 min of being close again they are back at it. I am at wits end to work this one out

- - mrs harkness said
  - 04 May 2013
    11:02 pm
I hated my brother growing up he was always doing better things than me but now we are the best of friends.

- - traceyi said
  - 30 Apr 2013
    3:30 pm
never had one. so can’t comment

- - Highfive said
  - 30 Apr 2013
    11:15 am
im kind of happy with my one child, but i do dream of saying “leave your little brother/sister alone”!!!!

- - angie13 said
  - 29 Apr 2013
    9:57 pm
I’m at my wits end with my two! I really hope they grow out of it soon!

- - fengari said
  - 29 Apr 2013
    2:56 pm
I had a really bad case of sibling rivalry with my sister when I was young, but thankfully my 2 kids haven’t started the fighting between them yet!

- - snoopy said
  - 20 Apr 2013
    3:43 pm
curlytops – Here’s my guess at their ages, I would say the boy who was crawling in the room would be of crawling age so maybe not quite one and the girl who’s into Dora dolls would be just over a year older than him making her a toddler maybe in her in her 2’s.

- - smiles said
  - 20 Apr 2013
    1:06 pm
Yes sibling rivalry is quite prominent in our household and some times it does get me down as it seems that I have tried everything to try and get them to get along. I think also when there are 2 totally different characters that can cause more friction. I found with my boys that making sure they had their own time by themselves did calm things down a little, especially for my oldest who needs just some space by himself for 30 minutes after getting home from school.