My brother re-married and has custody of my 16 year old nephew and I know that his second wife (sister in law ) was struggling really bad to accept a lot of things and she says the more she does the more he isn’t happy , not grateful, lies etc.. I think it is best to only do your bit and don’t worry about what he should do etc.. He is trying to adjust in having a new family and that is enough trauma for him to handle . Let your husband take care of things on his end when it comes to these issues and if concerned tell it to him and he can advise his son what to do .My sister in law is better now and let my brother take the reins on certain responsibilities and is much happier . Good luck with it all .

I tend to agree with mum98321. I think if you have a chat to your hubby about how he feels and opening up dialogue with his son, then it may be better just being kept between the two of them, rather than involve other people and also to inintentionally make yourself a target of any future angst etc. I can see why you are so upset, and it would be very frustrating.

Maybe is is best for it to come directly from your hubby? Children often need to hear it directly from the person. It can be done with polite understanding that it would have been nice to hear from you on my birthday and Father’s Day. Straight forward communication often works well. Your care and concern is understandable.

Maybe it just the teenager been a teenager, They can be pretty thoughtless sometimes.. Its ok to be angry but i think the next time you see the kid or the mother, just say in passing that you missed him not been with the family on fathers day, and next year you will try to plan in advance so your family can spend the day with him.. But run it by your hubby first as you said you dont want to cause problems..