Dont get me wrong, i have a wonderful and loving husband and 4 fantastic children, we own our own 5 bedroom house on an acre of land, life is perfect or so you would think.
6 years ago i had a accident at work, and it caused both my shoulders to have a condition called Calcification Tendonitis.
Its very painful, ive lost about 80% movement in my right shoulder and 50% movement in my left shoulder.
I can only move my left arm out to 45 degrees and right arm out to 35 degrees. So things that people take for granted like washing their hair, making dinner, going food shopping it takes me three times as long or i have to ask my husband or kids to help me out, and normally ends up with having to take more pain relief.
I take on average 6 panadine forte a day(can be as many as 8 in a day) plus two tablets to help me sleep.
I hate being on workcover, if i knew then what i know now, i would never of started on this journey.
I just feel like a case number on someones books, getting sent to this doctor that doctor and any other doctor that they can think of.
I dont have many friends and now im not working it just seems so much harder to get out there and meet new people.
Ive been seeing a great psychologist and it is good to talk about everything, but last week she mentioned the big D word yep DEPRESSION.
Its really made me think am i depressed or not, and i really dont want to be labelled as the lady on workcover who now has depression to add to the list.
I just dont know where to turn anymore, all my family live in England and my mum passed away 5 years ago and i always seem to be the one that has to make the call to speak to them, i just feel so lost and cry at the most stupid of things.
Why did this have to happen to me, no doctor can tell me when i will be able to move my arms again, they just say it will happen.
I feel as tho ive just lost the last 6 years of my life, having to say yes sir no sir three bags full sir to workcover.
I really dont wish the workcover journey on anyone, ive now got a lawyer involved with my case and funny enough they have stopped sending me to stupid doctors, so fingers crossed things start to look up.
My lawyer keeps going on about what money i should be getting, and what payouts i should be getting but you know what i really dont care, i would give up all the money in the world just to feel “normal” again and not to have to live on tablets and be able to go swimming, play netball, kick the ball down the park with the kids and most of all get a normal relationship back with my husband.
Sorry to rant on i just sometimes need to let it all out,
Posted anonymously, 5th August 2014