loath kids to love kids

When i was a young teen i decided that children and babies were scary and bad and i didnt like them, actually i decided i hated them. You see i grew up in an abusive and neglectful home and i did not want to be responsible for hurting anyone the way i had been hurt as a child. I convinced myself that i despised the idea of children, they were like aliens to me and i definitely did not want any of my own.

This worked for me for many years. Until…. i started seeing and fell in love with my current partner who already had a 5 yr old daughter. It was impossible to keep lying to myself, i couldnt hate children while loving this precious little girl.
I realised i never loathed children i just never wanted to repeat the mistakes of my childhood. Childhood plays a major roll in who you become as an adult, but it doesn’t have to define you. Acknowledging and learning from the mistakes of others in my past has enabled me to become a great mother, i dont have to be like my mother, in fact she gave me a perfect example of what not to do.

I love being a mum now i am always looking to find new crafts/activities/things to try with little miss or do for her. I cannot imagine my life without her and am now looking forward to having a second child.

so great to read

Glad you have this child to love.

well we are supposed to evolve and do things better than our parents

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  • • stepmom107932 replied
    • 13 Dec 2014 , 8:34 pm

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  To be quite honest most people don’t, wether they are trying or not i dont know. I think you are right that people should though.

I am scaredof parent hood. My only child passed away and it is such a daunting prospect to try again. I hope i can have the courage as i do deep down want to be a mother. Sometimes i am very uncertain though. It is nice to read someone who has uncertainty towards it also.

Yes, I often use my parents as a model of what not to do too.