Never Ending Paranoia and Worry - Real Mum story on MoM

8 Comments

My son is 10, turning 11 next month. In November, he will be a six year cancer survivor. This is huge for him. When J. was 2, he was diagnosed with meningococcal septacaemia (2006). He overcame this horrible debilitating disease (gradually!) and was then diagnosed a year later (2007), with Acute Myeloid Leukemia. He went into remission, the next year (2008) but couldnt finish his chemo treatment because he fell ill with meneingitis. Twice. Later the same year he relapsed with leukemia, and had a Stem Cell Transplant. He finally got to go home for good in April of 2009. He has ongoing health issues, but is okay, considering.
I just want to ask… When do I stop worrying about every little bruise? Every headache and neck pain? When do I stop smothering him with so much love and affection, that I think I may be doing more harm than good? It has been nearly six years, since that life-changing transplant but I can still see it like it was yesterday. I remember every minute, every second of my sons life with these dreaded diseases, and find it so damn hard to put it onto the past.

Posted by Missie, 1st September 2014

8 Comments

- - mom56842 said
  - 16 Sep 2014
    2:59 am
Having never been in your position, I can only imagine what it must be like for you, you’ve both been through a lot x

- - pakeko said
  - 08 Sep 2014
    7:39 pm
yah for being cancer free for 6 years, you may not even get over it as such I think you will just learn to hide it better and not show it as much. It is ok to worrie as long as you don’t let it rule your life
- Missie replied
  
  09 Sep 2014 , 2:53 am
  Thanks
  - Missie replied
    
    09 Sep 2014 , 9:11 pm
    
    Sorry I didnt finish the sentence for some reason… Thankyou Pakeko. While I do worry constantly, I do try to hide it from Mr J. because the last thing he needs is to start being paranoid about getting sick again.
- - BellaB said
  - 04 Sep 2014
    11:05 am
I’m not sure you ever will stop worrying, and it will always be hard to put it aside. I suspect that over time, you might just have to learn to fake it a bit for your boy so he doesn’t feel smothered. But I know I would never stop worrying. Good luck.
- Missie replied
  
  05 Sep 2014 , 12:45 pm
  Thanks Bellab, yeah I do try to tame the smothering thing, as he is getting older. I don’t want to embarass him
- - Kelly said
  - 03 Sep 2014
    10:56 pm
First I just want to say that’s great news he’s been cancer free for six years now.
Honestly I don’t think your ever stop worrying about him and everything he does or every cut or bruise he gets.
In time I’m sure you will start to worry a little less but the worry will still be around.
you wouldn’t be a mum if you stopped worrying.
I will keep you and your son in my prayers and here’s to happy health xx
- Missie replied
  
  04 Sep 2014 , 6:50 am
  Thank you Kelly, six years remission is just as exciting as one year remission, in our household. Your kind words are reassuring x