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I am at a bit of a dilemma at the moment with regards to the teenagers and all their things they do on line. In an ideal world every parent would have all their passwords and be linked into all their activities to be able to monitor what they are doing and how they are travelling in this internet world. This is possible up to around 15 years of age. The reality is as they get older into late teens you loose that control and they don’t want you to see what they are doing because of various things such as language they use with their friends or pictures people post on their walls etc. I would like to know from people who have late teens and there fore fully understand the problem how they handle this.


Posted anonymously, 23rd April 2014


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  • i think that you have to be direct and honest with them and fully get them to understand the consequences of their online actions etc

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  • Establish rules of conduct when they are young and friend them on facebook.


    • Also; discuss privacy settings and make sure you are across them too. Keep up with the technology.

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  • It is so difficult as they want to be independent at this age yet they are still considered a child till 18. It is a very hard age to parent in.

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  • At the moment my son still young for that.

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  • i will be in the same position soon enough!

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  • I think if you let them know the boundaries then they will follow your lead. That is what I have done anyway and had no problems at all with my son.

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  • My sister, who has teenagers, said to me that she doesn’t try to have control rather that she’d hoped that all of the discussions they’d had about safe internet usage etc would be enough and that by maintaining good communication that they could talk to her about things they might find online. At fifteen they are really young adults and maybe we do need to give a bit more trust.

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  • I am yet to find a way to have control. You can stick the computer in a communal area, but then they have access to the internet on their phones. With many social media formats at the moment, you can restrict access to your photos etc. This means even though you may think you can see everything your child is posting, chances are your blocked from seeing anything they don’t want you to see :(

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  • This is really hard. My kids are still very young but I hope we can establish a strong base of sensible behaviour before they reach this age as you do eventually have to trust them to make their own decisions.

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  • I have also heard of employers doing that as a first line check when hiring someone.

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  • I don’t have teenagers but I remember being one and I remember I HATED being reminded “to be careful of what you post, there are some nasty people out there”. I was drilled with that comment (or similar) pretty much every time I was on the computer. My advice would be to sit down with them, lay out some ground rules – e.g. sites they can and can’t visit, time restrictions etc – but make sure they know that you do trust them, it’s people on the other end of the computer that you don’t trust. Have open communication and make sure they know if anything or anyone seems a bit dodgy they can come to you for advice.

    If your kids are tech savvy, which of course they probably are, they will know how to clear history etc if they’re doing something they don’t want you to see. At the end of the day you can only do so much to protect them. Be vigilant and look out for signs that something might be wrong – shutting you out, being distant, more moody than usual. Try not to push them and nag them about things as I know when my parents did that I tended to do the opposite.

    Good luck, it’s a tricky situation and I’m not looking forward to when my girls are that age. I can only imagine it’s going to get worse too with the current growth of technology and the internet.

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  • I am on my kids and Grand kids friends list on things like face book and can even check out there friends as most time others do not have them set to private. So I always know what is going on but we use to check the history on the computer to see what sites they have been to than wipe the history and cookies so the computer did not remember the sites auto. Trust has alot to do with it and how open you and your kids are as my kids and Grand kids tell me all the good bad and the ugly.

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  • My eldest has just turned 18 and i still know his passwords to his Facebook and email accounts and he’s happy for me to still have them.
    I think a lot of it comes down to trust, i also have a 15,13 and 4 year old and the older 2 i also have their passwords and they know i check their accounts all the time.
    Also maybe limit the time they are on the internet at home and just try and have that open relationship that they can always talk to you.

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  • Its really hard, I agree. The kids are very savvy these days and seem to have passwords on everything. I think you need to trust them to a certain extent, but keep reminding them of the dangers of the internet. I recently heard from an employer who was looking to hire that the first thing she does is look on the facebook page of everyone who applies for a job. If she doesn’t like their photos or language, they don’t get an interview, Let your kids know this and tell them that once something gets on the net it is there forever.

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