Do you remember that day? when you found out that there was a tiny little bundle of arms and legs growing away inside of you? I do. I remember it with absolute clarity. I remember showing my husband the little stick with those two amazing magical lines and he asking me “they are pink, is it a girl?”
Suddenly, without it being something I had really considered except as something to do in the future, I was about to become a mum. And I wanted it, more than I wanted anything else. It became something I lived and breathed every second. I was in a permanent state of bliss and excitement.
Until one day. When the hospital staff look at you gravely and say “i’m sorry”. Everything changes in that split second.
For me personally, this was 4 times as bad…because I had to listen to the doctor say those words about 4 of my babies.
But those weren’t the worst words. The worst ones are the ones from your friends and family, who truly mean it with the best of intentions. But they utter those words “it was meant to be” “there must have been something wrong”.
Nope, sorry. Telling me my baby must have been deformed and that is why it died, that is not helping.
I was probably even one of those people before my experiences.
And this story, is as much to say PLEASE do not say those words to a family member or friend, just tell them you are sorry for their loss, as it is to say DO NOT give up hope. Even after genetic testing on myself and two babies, there was no cause found.
My husband and I are the VERY proud parents of an amazing little boy. Master 5 (nearly 6!). Sometimes, after all the heartache, comes the joy x
Posted by Tinarh, 4th May 2016