Watching /reading someone you love suffer

9 Comments

April 2015 my gorgeous niece was working interstate where we were living and I got a message from my sister that we had to skype her together. My husband and niece were both excited as they thought my sister was going to talk about her wedding that she was planning, I on the other hand had a bad feeling it was not going to be a nice conversation. We loaded up skype and rang my sister and one look at her face and I knew it was BAD and it was … Stage 3 Breast Cancer!!! the doctors were operating a week later. I was living interstate for the whole of her chemo and radiation treatment and feel I wasn’t able to do much. She did write a blog which helped her with how she was feeling and also so she didn’t have to deal with 50 phone calls a day asking the same questions. The blog is how I knew what was happening with her, she was so sick through chemo I didn’t feel I could call her as I didn’t want to wake her. Chemo was hard for her and also hard for us to read and see (photos) what she was going through then the radiation with the burns she has suffered. Thankfully I feel she has beaten it she still has a way to go yet with reconstructions, hysterectomy and 10 years of tablets! but it is so difficult to see the pictures and now to see her face to face she is slowly getting hair again. In some ways I am glad I wasn’t in the same state while she was going through the treatments and I am ashamed to say that really but it was certainly easier to tell my kids after the worst of her treatment was over. I really feel for anyone who is there with their family/friends while going through anything like this.

Posted by fairy, 1st January 2016

9 Comments

- - mom94125 said
  - 04 Jan 2016
    9:05 pm
that is really so sad to hear. i think that it is wonderful though, that she has written a blog. i think that would have been a real and honest glimpse into her feelings. wishing you and yours the best.

- - mom140193 said
  - 02 Jan 2016
    11:02 pm
Its so horrible watching someone you love suffering. Feeling like you need to do something ‘more’ but dont knwo how or cant. Distance makes it so kuch harder! From experience, knowing i had supportive people made the world of difference. Just knowing i wasnt alone. And you seemed to have been a great support – knowing how sick she was, being mindful of calling to not interrupt sleep, but being there along the journey. Sometimes its the things others feel arent enough – that make the world of difference to people when theyre sick. All the best for you and your neice and i hope ahe is recovering.

- - mom165081 said
  - 02 Jan 2016
    7:55 pm
Oh how horrible it is when this kind of thing happens. It is hard to know the best way to support people in these circumstances.

- - BellaB said
  - 02 Jan 2016
    6:41 pm
It’s hard being there, and it’s hard not being there. I’ve done both.

- - mom90758 said
  - 02 Jan 2016
    5:42 pm
Cancer is so terrible. It’s such a big challenge. Your body has to face so many hard treatments, and your sister will surely need a lot of time to recover from that. Setting up a blog was a great idea. A way to keep the loved ones informed about what was happening, leaving her the time and rest she needed during the treatment. Still a lot to come for her, but I’m glad to hear that she has beaten it.

- - curlytops said
  - 02 Jan 2016
    2:32 pm
Its really tough for friends and family to see someone they love go through this.
- mom93821 replied
  
  03 Jan 2016 , 7:51 am
  It is definitely tough for everyone and there are so many good support groups that can help everyone.
- - mom93821 said
  - 02 Jan 2016
    7:35 am
Thanks for sharing your story and I am glad to hear your niece is in recovery and fighting the good fight. Breast cancer has taken too many of my loved ones and friends and it’s a life changer. To everyone I say “Love your loved ones and friends unconditionally and help them wherever and whenever you can as the smallest gestures and smallest acts make such a difference. Everyone copes with cancer in different ways, some privately and some publicly and there is no right or wrong. Well wishes and prayers to any members on this site that may be on this journey at the moment” x

- - mum4107 said
  - 02 Jan 2016
    5:02 am
I hope she has beaten it. It’s so difficult and chemo can make people so sick.
My mum had cancer in her esophagus a few years ago. The chemo made her so sick, she was hospitalized after every treatment, she had a massive 6 hours surgery to remove it, then radiation and more chemo. Thankfully she beat it