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Article The trouble with fancy infant outfits

By Danielle Roddick
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When my daughter was eight weeks old she had her first public outing. We were off to a backyard birthday party and I dressed her in a crisp white dress with a scalloped edge skirt and capped sleeves. For a splash of colour she wore a bright pink flower headband and matching barefoot sandals.

We did one quick lap around the party and proudly accepted compliments on her cuteness. But it was thirty degrees in the shade and our poor little flower was drooping. The headband made a red indent into her forehead; the sandals slipped off her heels; and sweat dampened the layered skirt.

After only a few minutes we stripped off the whole ensemble. For the rest of the party she lay comfortably in a simple cotton onesie.

What was the point?

Sure, she looked #sopretty – but when it came to my little one, I realised that her comfort should take precedence over my dream of playing dress-ups with a real-life Baby Born.

My little doll has a stunning wardrobe, brimming with dresses, playsuits, skirts and vests – but each of her fancier outfits comes with its own set of challenges, and are just not suitable for everyday (or any day) wear for a newborn.

  • Lace fabric outfits: I have very quickly learnt that there is no room for lace in my baby’s wardrobe. Her sharp little dagger claws that make short work of fine lace, and the thicker outfits are forever soaking in a tub of Nappy San. Have you ever tried to clean chunky milk vomit out of tiny lacey loopholes? It’s like pushing porridge over a cheese grater.
  • Outfits with beads, pearl and sequin embellishments: Can anyone say ‘choking hazard’? My baby is not Honey Boo Boo and this is not ‘Toddlers and Tiaras’. There is no real-life situation that seems appropriate to weigh her down with beads, pearls, sequins and other embellishments.
  • Outfits without nappy support: Knowledge that I can never unlearn… Newborn baby poo has the thick, sticky consistency of the swamp that swallowed Atreyu’s horse in ‘The Neverending Story’. Those little press-studs are annoying, but clothes that fasten between the legs help to keep the nappy up and the contents in. Which, in the case of my child – whose tiny chicken legs that stick out of nappy holes like chop sticks – is particularly important.
  • Any two-piece outfits: Two-piece outfits are as appropriate for babies as a midriff is to a muffin-top. Babies are sweaty, squirmy, and are lifted up and down all day. When my little cupcake is wearing a two-piece, I’m constantly pulling her shirt down and tugging her shorts up to keep her back covered. And then there’s the issue of poop. Again. My perfect storm seems to be a trip to the supermarket with my little one in a pretty two-piece. On more than one occasion she has expelled a month’s worth of excrement as soon as we reached the store, and without the confines of the one-piece there was nothing to stop the car capsule from becoming a bowl of soup.
  • Overalls: Repeat all of the problems with two-piece outfits, and add the difficulty of continually tucking the shirt into shorts (or, even worse, skorts) that gape open at the top. What am I trying to do, raise a little hillbilly? She cannot stand up, so her shoulders cannot support her clothing. And she definitely does not need a tiny little pocket on her chest, as I’m sure I’ll be carrying around her belongings until she is at least five.
  • Tutu skirts: I felt sorry for my tiny tot when I dressed her into a tutu. She just looked so uncomfortable, lying on her back with a thick tufted skirt. But every gal wants a baby ballerina, right? So I persisted. Until it was time to buckle all that tulle into a car capsule. She looked like a squashed meringue.
  • Buttons on the back or nape of the neck: Remember that song that we all used to clap to: ‘Miss Mary Mack, all dressed in black, with silver buttons, all down her back’? Yes, well Mary was not a baby, but I bet her mother still struggled with all those damn buttons.
 Babies are floppy. Really, really floppy. They have no neck control, cannot sit unaided, and in their first few months hate tummy time. Without two sets of hands, there is no safe or easy way to do up a sequence of tiny buttons on their back – at least without sending them into a raging fit.

Can you relate? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.com

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Comments

  • I found out very fast that you can’t imprint your idea of what a girl should dress in on your daughter. My daughter was so happy with her brother’s hand-me-downs and hated wearing the beautiful dresses her grandmother bought her for special occasions. Even as a very tiny baby she had her own ideas and if you tried to dress her up, she’d pull it off.

    Reply

  • I have 6 children ranging from 34 to 3 and all have had an assortment of clothing. The clothes worn by young children these days are so different from when my oldest lot were babies. Boys could wear night gowns, disposal nappies were not used much. bonnets were used , so were lots of ribbons for both sexes. My younger two who are 3 wore clothing that had all the things you did not like, apart from lace, dangly things and huge pockets. My daughters did not have head bands but wore hats instead.

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  • I can partly relate. I found comfort most important but dressed my kids often in 2 pieces ( leggings and shirt and how cute can those be ?) over a onesie vest to keep the nappy in place indeed. The onesies with legs and sleeves are in my opinion bed wear…

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  • I have a little boy and I have today I totally disagree! My little guy barely wears a Onsie to bed! He never cries from being u comfortable! He’s known for his bow ties and suspenders and he’s only 5 months old! Onsies are bed wear!

    • Oh cute! All power to you – I guess I just don’t have the patience 🙂

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  • Oh I can so relate, this is why I created comfortable and cute cotton rompers for bubs. I have some lovely organic cotton rompers too, for the same price!! I really want babies to be comfortable and mummy’s to have their bubs look sweet. My rompers are designed for everyday wear and special occasions. Don’t get me started on 2 pieces!!! I totally agree what a pain the riding up and lack of poop containment is. I make baby girl dresses with built in rompers so you’ll never flash a nappy again. If you’d like to help your bub on the way to comfort and style check out my Instagram http://www.instagram.com/fluturi.studio

    Reply

  • I don’t like the tone in which this was written – snarky rather than funny. Shame as it could have been very funny.

    • Sorry you feel that way. I did try to write this in a light-hearted tone – but I guess tone is up for individual interpretation. I’m not generally known for my humour though – so you may have a point.

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  • I am thankful I had all boys lol. though with my twins, I did do the whole dress as the same, simply because they were both as gorgeous as each other and everyone else had a hard time telling who was who lol

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  • I just had a girl and i cant wait to dress her up and put cute headbands on her ????

    • I don’t know if you are aware of it but there has been warnings about the trimmings and decorations on some baby headbands. Pieces can come off them and go into baby’s eyes, either with of without the help of little fingers. I always prefer the neck of baby’s clothes to be a bit on the big side. So much easier to get over a baby or even a 4 year old’s head. I had some jumpers that actually unbuttoned across the shoulders to put them on and take them off but kept the kids warm in cool weather.

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  • hahaha I can remember these outfits on my daughter and I will stay well clear of them now for my second

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  • My daughter always seemed fine with these items however my sister in law gave up with her daughter and stuck to onesies

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  • Comfort should definitely come first. I save the turus and head bands until my toddler wanted to wear them

    • Good idea! Annoying as they may be, once they have a mind of their own and can make choices about their own wardrobes, our preferences may be irrelevant!

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  • Each to their own, but I always loved classic designs

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  • Just hold on to the thought that when she’s a toddler, she’ll really WANT to wear all those cute clothes – and they’ll be more practical.

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  • I totally agree with you. Anything that takes longer than putting on a one piece romper & has fiddly bits is not worth the effort.

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  • I totally agree but I have boys so they don’t dress up much

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  • good article and well written.

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  • Fancy outfits are very cute but comfort should come first!

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  • I must say I cringe when I see tiny babies in those massive flower headbands!

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  • Oh i never did the fancy infant outfits for my girls. I did ooh and aah at them in the shops and think how cute my girls would look, bht the practical mother in me realised that these outfits just were not for me or my girls. Now that they are older they get to dress up in pretty outfits when the occassion calls for it.

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  • I hear you. I love it when we have days at home because that means I can get away with onesies all day long but then you have the catch up with friends and all of a sudden you have the worst time trying to change nappies with outfits that even though should be the right size by the time you need to change them you can’t get them out of it and have to squeeze them out and can’t be too comfortable for the poor little cherubs. Ha, ha.

    • Can I suggest that you check out different brands You may well discover that some are larger in the armholes and leg width than some are. Lengths and widths vary too. e.g. I bought one hoodie from Target and one from KMart.
      The Kmart one wasn’t quite as long in the body but was wider. The Target width was a full size narrower. Another thing we discovered a few years ago was for two children ages 7 and 5y.o. We bought them as presents. They liked wearing the same colours. We bought them trackpants, different sizes at different shops. The pair that was supposed to be larger was shorter than the small size. The older child was asked what colour she would like, and the the one said she liked the same. If buying clothes for a child who is not with you, always compare sizes. On a few occasions I have found the isze is very little difference, often no more than 1cm so I buy the larger size. It doesn’t take long for them to grow that little bit. Also at the moment a lot of jumpers aren’t long enough in the body. As soon as they raise their arms the jumpers are up above the waist of their skirts or pants. If they don’t wear singlets they have their bare backs exposed to the cold air in Winter. Your child is not as warm all over as you think they are.

    Reply
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