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A frustrated school mum says she’s fed up with parents blaming teachers and sporting coaches for their child not excelling.

The mum took to a forum to share her opinion, saying she can’t understand why some parents can’t accept that their child is ‘average’.

“Just from listening to some parents at the school gates and activities, it seems certain parents can’t accept their child is normal or average,” she said.

“If they are not over achieving it’s the schools fault, teachers fault, other parents faults, coaches fault. It’s draining. Also some parents who might be very high achievers themselves just expect their child should be the same as them and point the finger if not. What’s wrong with average? I just think it’s ludicrous carry on.”

She said she thinks it’s unfair for parents to offload on teachers and schools when their child ‘doesn’t get the marks they want to get’ or ‘badmouthing a coach when their average player wasn’t picked first for the team’.

“It hinders confidence to hear parents blaming schools, teachers, even other children having the audacity to have tutors.
If parents accept the child they have they would be happy and confident regardless..Not every child is going to be the next Einstein or Keely Hodgkinson and that’s completely OK. What’s not OK is blaming everyone surrounding the child for them not meeting the parents expectations.”

Her post was met with lots of comments from other mums who agreed.

“We have some parents like this at school and I really feel sorry for their children because no matter what they do, it never impresses their parents because it’s always the least that they expect,” one mum replied.

Another said, “I think parents often do this to hide their own guilt, they perceive it is because they themselves don’t do enough with their kids to push them but don’t want to accept that.”

However others disagreed.

“Having had a bright child who was phenomenally let down by school in the last year of primary I would say it works both ways.”

“Seriously, I understand what you mean but you have no idea what’s really going on with anyone else’s child. Live and let live and be grateful you have a happy, successful child.”

What’s your opinion? Share it in the comments below. 

  • Yes, more than anything I think so too that a happy child that is a joy to have in the classroom is most important. My child is well below average, is in year 5 but gets year 1-2 level work offered and had only D’s on her report and I couldn’t care less. When I read that she has been a kind and caring student who brought a bright and energetic presence to the classroom each day.
    That she was a willing and enthusiastic learner who approached her work with a positive attitude most of the time and that although some of the content this semester proved difficult for her, she remained persistent and gave her best effort in all areas of learning. She was always respectful and considerate towards her peers, contributing to a warm and supportive classroom environment. When I read that I’m super proud and wouldn’t want to change a thing

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  • I agree. I was always most proud when I would ahve a parent reacher meeting and they would tell me that my kids were well liked by the other children and that having them in the class was a joy. They often commented on their manners. These things made me feel proud and not their grades

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  • All kids are different and there is nothing wrong with kids being average or below average. Teaching a class where kids function on different levels and offer each of them work that matches their level can be complex. Besides this there are kids in each class who do need extra attention or guidance; this could be a child with ASD or ADHD, the child who’s parents go through a divorce, the child that is fostered or adopted, the child with a developmental or intellectual delay. The amount of time that there is a Teacher Aide present in class is limited. I have nothing but respect for teachers.

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  • I don’t see what’s wrong with being average. When I was in primary school they thought I was very bright but when I went to high school, everything changed. It was nothing to do with the teachers or the school, it’s just that I found the work harder. Since it was so hard, I didn’t do well. Luckily my parents always said “As long as I was doing the best I could that was what mattered the most”.

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  • I think teachers do the best they can given how big classes are these days. They also have to deal with children who are naughty in class and i have seen this first hand after doing parent teacher helper afternoon. Some kids need a lot of extra attention which distracts them from teaching the kids. Class sizes need to be smaller to allow the teachers to spend more time teaching. It is also the responsibility of parents to offer learning opportunities at home. This can be done in so many different forms.

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  • I think that there is a combined community effort in raising kids. To a degree teachers can go the extra mile in helping a child succeed, and I know that they have their work cut out for them, but some are better than others. However, a big part of the success comes down to a child’s attitude towards life experiences, how they will handle challenges and if they are willing to push themselves.

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  • Sometimes as parents we put a lot of pressure on our children. We expect better results for them. In my case it’s because I want a better life for them. I want them to do something they are happy doing whether it’s in medicine, law or a trade. As long as they give themselves options. We fall into the trap of comparing but need to understand each child/teen is different. My daughter’s strengths are in the arts, writing but she sometimes struggles with maths concepts. My son excels in maths but doesn’t care for the arts. I think that everyone has a special talent, something they are better at. The difficult part is finding out what that is.

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  • Amazing insight Anita! My twins scored below average in their most recent NAPLAN exams and I finally decided to start tutoring. I think it really helped and was super convenient plus affordable. For mums local to the inner west Sydney area, couldn’t recommend Owlearners Tutoring enough – give them a squiz https://www.owlearners.com.au/ 🙂

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  • I think most people probably do accept this but when you’re around any person for long enough you see their qualities and abilities as sometimes better than average or really impressive in certain ways. It’s not a bad thing to think your child is above average I think. I think 2 of my children are really booksmart and remember everything better than average.

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  • I always say most kids have one thing they’re good at, and no guarantees about anything else – and what they’re good at isn’t always academic.

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  • Not all children can match up to what their parents think they should be. Times are harder now and not all kids can handle what is expected of them. To me, I was just glad that my boys tried their best, which is all we should really expect.

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  • Every child has skills and talents which may not be obvious at school. There are lots of avenues to becoming successful, and everyone defines success differently.

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  • It’s crazy that parents or carers are blaming teachers, coaches or tutors for their Childs average performance. My teenagers always come home and state that their teacher is “crap” or “hopeless” in which I correct them and advised them That its you not understanding the work they are giving and that its up to you to speak to the teacher during or after class to get a better understanding of what they are teaching. Since my teens have been doing this they have been understanding more and putting more effort into their work and having more faith in their teachers.

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  • I think that their has been a shift in parents behaviour towards school staff. Recently we hear more and more about parents who show angry, aggressive and violant behaviour towards school staff, which is quite shocking.
    While previously bullying was associated with children in the schoolyard, increasingly it appears that teachers are becoming the victims of bullying behaviour from parents. This affects their safety in the workplace. Teachers have reported being bullied or harassed at school events, sports grounds, by email and social media.
    Back in the day parents and teachers were a team, united for kids’ success. I do think this is less the case nowadays.

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  • I totally agree.

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  • As long as they are happy and healthy, that is really all that matters. The rest will fall into place. Just because they start out as smart doesn’t equate to being gifted once in high school. I knew a mum who taught her daughter to read in Kinder, she expected her to excel all through school but ended up being a normal kid in high school.

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  • As long as they are not struggling that’s all that matters. Not everyone can excel.

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  • If children are doing their best and parents are also doing their best at helping the child, then you will have a happy family. Happiness is what means the most throughout their life. Neither achievement or money can bring happiness, so why not have that as the ideal in your home.

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  • There’s a lot of factors here. It’s on the children themselves too – I have a daughter who is amazing at writing stories, but is quite lazy and would rather procrastinate instead. That being said, I don’t think there is enough in schools to encourage half the time either. When she was going for a scholarship there was no mentoring – nothing. It was all on me at home to try and encourage and help her and I also work full time. It’s hard. It’s also hard to know how much to push your kid to help them succeed and reach their full potential. Because if you don’t do it enough, then they may also just drift through life never going anywhere.

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  • I dont think the right wording has been used here. Some kids excel at book learning, others excel at hands on learning, others excel at sport. Our kids all having different ways of learning and all can excel at it their way, they can do without labelling such as this

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