Wise words for new parents

My little girl has just hit the big ONE YEAR and I’ve learnt so much in the past year. About motherhood, life and myself.

I remember sitting in the hospital when she was only hours old thinking “you’re finally here, but what the hell do we do now!” Those first hours and days with a newborn you are in shock.

You have created this most beautiful precious creature and your job now is to make sure they are always ok.

You can read all the books, be members in every forum and talk to all the mothers but nothing ever really prepares you for the reality of parenthood. For me the love was instantaneous, I bonded immediately with my little koala and every day I loved her even more. I know this isn’t the case for everyone (something I didn’t really know until I was pregnant).

In the first few months you may not get much sleep. You’ll get frustrated. You’ll try to follow all the advice and feel like a failure if it doesn’t work. You’ll struggle to get out of the house some days, or even out of your pyjamas.

When you look back on these days when your child turns one, when they turn 2… or 30… you’ll think ‘why did I stress so much?’

You won’t remember the hard times as much as you’ll remember the joy and the way you looked at their little hands and wonder how you could create something so precious.

You’ll wonder why you listened to all those things people told you that you should be doing instead of listening to your own instincts.

Why did you let it bother you? Remember you are your baby’s mother and you will always know them better than anyone else. Why did you stress that you fed your 3 month old baby to sleep? It won’t be that way forever so why not enjoy those cuddles while you have them, because one day they might not want your cuddles. Why were you worried they weren’t waving/talking/walking/crawling/sitting up (insert any development milestone) yet? Enjoy the time they are a baby because it doesn’t last long and before you know it they’ve grown and you’ll miss that ‘babyness’.

My biggest lesson though, is the infinity of love. There is the love I have for my husband, romantic love.. but then this love for my baby is just beyond explanation. It’s the kind of love that doesn’t falter, that can not be broken.. sure ‘like’ may not be there when she’s screaming at 3am in the morning for two hours, but the love remains. It always remains.

So my wise words for parents of newborns, the first few months are hard and I’d love to say it gets easier but it doesn’t.

The things that were hard to begin with do get easier, but there will be new challenges that come. So no, it doesn’t get easier but you do get better at being a parent. You will learn how to manage being a mummy or a daddy, you will learn how to help them sleep, you will learn what their cries mean, you’ll learn how to cope with new behaviours or who to turn to when you aren’t.

It won’t get easier but you will get better at it.

Can you relate? Please SHARE your experiences below.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.com

15 Comments

- - mom110057 said
  - 01 Mar 2016
    10:24 pm
As the mum of an almost 1 year old boy I look back and remember all the good times so far as well as te sick times.. These days I have troubles with keeping him still to change his nappy. I still love him tenper and all and wouldn’t give him up for the world..

- - coastalkaryn said
  - 12 Feb 2016
    8:38 am
yep, listen to your own gut, you know your child instinctively – inside and out!!

- - coastalkaryn said
  - 09 Feb 2016
    9:49 pm
my wise words, are follow your instincts, it is stages not ages and do what feels right for you, it is not too hard being a mummy if you do it your way xxx

- - june11 said
  - 28 Jan 2016
    7:14 pm
Explain to the new Mum not to be afraid to ask for help, even if it is just to watch the baby so she can catch up on some sleep, have a shower without having to listen out for the baby. It is the little things we take for granted that suddenly become almost non-existant. Time to do the laundry which has suddenly grown beyond belief, the dishes without having to pacify your baby at the same time. One of ours always decided to get distressed for one reason or another when I was trying to do the dishes no matter what time of the day. Hopefully you have a supportive Dad that will help you with the baby, chores etc. I would love it if somebody offered to hang the washing on the line for me, or perhaps brought it in, especially if it could get damp any time from 3.00pm after drying. Some people will offer to help. If you are agreeable accept it or they may not ask again or be willing later if you refuse too much. I found suggestions very helpful most times, but at times I didn’t appreciate being told I …had ….to do a thing.

- - mom93821 said
  - 25 Jan 2016
    8:58 pm
Every parent and baby experience is so different. Thanks for sharing your experience.

- - yummy_mummy88 said
  - 25 Jan 2016
    2:58 pm
Amazing article <3

- - mom103920 said
  - 25 Jan 2016
    10:36 am
I remember a friend smiling at me and telling me, “everything is ok, you’re a first time parent, you’ll learn to relax”. It took another three kids for me to be able to turn around to another friend who was down and say, “you are doing a fantastic job, you are a wonderful mum, enjoy it and you’ll learn to relax”. That’s when I realised that I had changed as a parent, like I’d been told. Instead of being terrified 24/7, I am loving life and love our growing family.

- - mom94125 said
  - 24 Jan 2016
    4:47 pm
yeah and also, try to relax! if you are not sure, don’t be afraid to ask and every child is different!

- - rachelvk said
  - 23 Jan 2016
    5:26 pm
Oh gosh I was so confused at first when I listened to what everyone was saying to me. People mean well but their advice is too much at times. Definitely rely on your instincts!

- - mom165081 said
  - 23 Jan 2016
    1:51 am
As a a parent, every day brings new joys and new challenges. With hindsight it is easy to relive the ups and laugh at the rest.

- - mom140193 said
  - 22 Jan 2016
    10:39 pm
Agree. So important to listen to your own instincts. No books, magazines, tips from others can truly prepare you for a newborn. Life changes, everything changes and all we can do is cope as best we can, and support not judge eachother.

- - mom94125 said
  - 22 Jan 2016
    1:54 pm
yes you grow as your child does and i agree, you are constantly having to change how you parent as they grow up.

- - mom90758 said
  - 22 Jan 2016
    12:55 pm
Yes, being a parent is hard work. But absolutely worth it! I loved every single moment with my daughter. We had to face so many challenges together, but with love you can handle anything.
Thanks for your sweet article!!
- mom93821 replied
  
  26 Jan 2016 , 5:46 am
  Good on you – it is hard work and worth it too.
- - mom74640 said
  - 22 Jan 2016
    11:54 am
Lke jd