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Article You don’t have to be okay

By Jessica Offer
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19 Comment

You know; motherhood is intense.

And it’s not always rewarding or purposeful and sometimes it’s really quite bullshit. It’s ground hog day more often than not. It’s hard to find the enthusiasm some days and keep up the survival mantra of “surrender”.

You don’t have to pretend to be okay if you’re not.

You don’t have to always like being a mother.

It’s okay to say you’re over it, or that you need time alone.

It’s okay to take that time alone guilt-free.

You don’t need to be perfect.

You don’t need to always play with your kids.

You don’t need to always say yes to their requests (or demands).

If you go to the park with them and play on your phone the whole time – that’s OK.

If you’d rather have your eyes gauged with spoons than take them out to a movie – that’s OK.

If you find motherhood really bloody boring and tedious – that’s OK.

It’s OK to ask for help.

It’s OK to let the boring housework slide.

It’s OK to order in.

Surround yourself with positive nourishing friendships and let the rest go; they don’t serve you.

You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone.

The people who really love you will still be there when the shit hits the fan.

So.. Do whatever you need to get by. Recognise your own limits and fill up your own cup. Your children are watching. They need to have the significant art of self-care modelled for them in this world.

You’re doing just fine, hey?

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Comments

  • I can say a definate yes. As older mother when younger hid if I felt down and it made me eventually run into the ground. I listened to everyones problems too as easier to deal with thought true!!.Now Isay NO and feel what you want take timeout for you,hard to do but true,bottom line is take care of you. Give yourself a treat,put up your feet and eat comfort food too,kid stuff likewhen you were little is good for you. Nurture your innerchild as she needsyou too. If I want to cry 9was taught not to) put on sad movie or music and have a good cry surprising how much relief it is to do. Or just if you can meditate I have tapes that put me in the mood and I relax if I wait and breathe deeply. You are special and needto treat yourself…

    Reply

  • This is a great story – and spot on… Life is not a walk in the park all the time

    Reply

  • Fantastic post. I agree wholeheartedly and I think this advice is great for all aspects of your life, not just motherhood. As long as your actions are not hurting anyone, it’s all okay.

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  • Great article. Thankyou

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  • Thank you for your honest article. I definitely have felt this way before & have often felt guilty that I am taking time out for myself. It is so important to have that ‘me’ time though and I certainly am trying to get a bit more of that guilt free time for myself.

    Reply

  • Nice thoughts and great reminders of the need to be realistic around the pressures and expectations of parenting.

    Reply

  • We all feel the strain and stress at some point

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  • All true, but if you feel like this all the time, then you probably need help.

    Reply

  • Putting on a mask and pretending to be okay can easily lead to a disaster, I tried and believe me it didn’t work and my world came tumbling down. Be truthful to yourself and those around you and know that it is not only okay to ask for help but it can be essential.

    Reply

  • A very honest account of motherhood. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply

  • Thanks for sharing your honest thoughts on your motherhood journey!

    • We all have such different journeys too.

    Reply

  • So very honest, I love it. Thank you

    Reply

  • yeah this is just really honest and that is what i really like about this article. we do the best that we know how 🙂

    Reply

  • Totally agree with this, it is so important to look after yourself and to surround your self with people who care about you as you are not trying to change you.

    It is also okay to have awful days, just remember to pick yourself up and be ready for the next good day.

    • That’s it!
      Some days are gonna be crap. Have a dwell, have a whinge.. then try again.

    Reply
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