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Article 5 steps to breastfeeding in public with confidence!

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We’re inundated with pictures of gorgeous women in skimpy clothes in our culture, with breasts being highly sexualised, and used in marketing material (often scantily clad) to promote everything from cars to stationary (yes, really!).

They are associated with strong messages of attractiveness and sexuality. With such highly sexualised imagery of breasts it can be bizarre and confronting when you start using them to nurse your baby. Before motherhood it seems as though breasts are personal, private parts of our bodies, only seen by ourselves and our sexual partners.

Then, after childbirth, you’re left with a tiny babe suckling on your breast. The sucking sensation can feel foreign and strange as you look down in wonder at this tiny little being attached to your breast. For some women, getting the right attachment, worrying about supply and even more complicated issues such as tongue tie make the first weeks of breastfeeding stressful. For others, their baby just latches on and they find the whole experience easy and natural.

The next big step is learning to breastfeed in public. Depending on where you do it, you’re just as likely to get a smile of acknowledgement from someone as you are to get an unwelcome comment.

Breastfeeding in public may make you feel exposed and you may worry about ‘flashing’ everyone. However, the more uncomfortable you feel, the harder it becomes to get out of the house. It is very important to acknowledge how you feel as normal, and ease into nursing in public.

The more women who nurse with confidence everywhere and anywhere, the easier it gets for new mums to get out and about, without worrying about what they’ll do when their baby gets hungry.

If you’re worried and unsure, follow our 5 steps to nursing in public with confidence! Feel free to stay at whichever step you’re up to and repeat until you’re ready to move to the next step:

Step 1: Join the Australian Breastfeeding Association (ABA) while you’re pregnant and go along to your local group meeting

It can be really hard to make the effort to go along and meet new, strange people once you have a newborn, so we recommend getting out and meeting your local ABA group before you’ve even had the baby! You’ll have time to make some connections and to see some women nursing with confidence without having your baby to worry about.

Step 2: Once you’ve had your baby, try nursing among friends first

The next step to confident nursing is to try nursing among friends.

The best place is probably going to be your local ABA group. Go along to a group meeting and practice nursing around other mothers, who know what it’s like, and while you’re there, ask about any problems you’ve encountered.

Chances are someone there will have had the same issue and will be able to share their experience.

Step 3: Sort out your wardrobe

By this stage you should have the hang of nursing your baby at home. You may have noticed that some people like nursing under a nursing cover, while others have special breastfeeding tops or dresses that have discrete openings, while still providing coverage.

The most confident of all are comfortable wearing clothes that are loose enough to simply pull down or up, or unbutton.

You need to practice with different clothes and covers and find out what works for you and your baby.

Trying to nurse under a cover can be impossible if your baby tends toward overheating, or doesn’t like being covered, so please don’t feel as though it’s your only option.

A word of warning – don’t have a complicated ‘good’ top that you only wear when you’re going out. Always try nursing in it at home first.

The last thing you want is to be fiddling around with complicated buttons and layers with one hand trying to attach a crying baby with the other, while milk is spurting everywhere and you’re feeling flushed and uncomfortable.

Step 4: Find a place you’re familiar with and sit somewhere discretely, with a friend, while you nurse

New situations are easier to tackle with a friend. Whether your friend is breastfeeding as well, or is just along to lend moral support, it doesn’t matter.

Find somewhere you’re comfortable with, perhaps a local library or cafe, take a friend, and try nursing in public for the first time. You have your wardrobe all sorted, and you’re confident you’ll be able to nurse without fussing around. Chances are no one will even notice what you’re doing.

However, if you are unlucky enough to come across a grumpy concerned citizen, prepare yourself and your friend with a list of responses.

If someone asks you to move to a private room (parent’s room, toilet, discrete corner) simply remind them that asking you to move is discrimination and that your right to breastfeed everywhere and anywhere is protected by law.

Step 5: Take it to the next level, and practice, practice, practice!

The last step is nursing in public by yourself. Once again, go somewhere you’re familiar and comfortable with, and when your baby is hungry, nurse!

You’ll be surprised at how little attention people pay. Most won’t even notice what you’re doing, or if they do, they may smile at you to show you support.

Congratulations! You’re all set for breastfeeding anywhere, anytime you and your baby want.

Love to hear your experience breastfeeding in public, please share with us in the comments below.

Main image courtesy of Shutterstock.com

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Comments

  • I never breastfed in public because I have anxiety and body issues; I think people will find me revolting (depression/low self-esteem due to childhood and beyond trauma etc). I did breastfeed in front of my ex-husband (and the nursing staff after I’d had all 3 babies) with our two, but my youngest I never fed in front of anyone (except at hospital).

    Reply

  • This is interesting! Thank you for sharing this!

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  • For me, it’s more about how I feel than anyone else. I feel breasts are natural and I am perfectly fine seeing women breastfeed, but I don’t want anyone seeing my breasts, I’m just so uncomfortable with the idea. I honestly think it comes back to how I was raised, we didn’t talk about sex in my family and I’m uncomfortable talking about sex with my mum now as an adult. I’m too much of a prude but I also have a baby coming soon that’s going to get hungry whenever he wants so I guess I’m just going to have to get over that and deal with it.

    • you will be fine. you don’t have to do this in public, just do what feels right to you

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  • Love the tips here and I got it right but baby 3 lol

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  • I feel really self conscience feeding in public. I’m not really sure why though – it’s such a natural thing to do!

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  • I wasn’t able to breastfeed because of latching problems so didn’t have any experiences feeding in public. I always has to find places to pump though!

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  • I never had much of a problem breast feeding in public. I found a light shawl came in handy for those times when it was an issue.

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  • I couldn’t breastfeed for long, but for some reason I never much cared where I fed my son and that was 9 years ago. Thanks for the article

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  • I could see how this could be quite interesting and useful to some, thanks for sharing.

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  • I breast fed all three of my children till 12 months or more and never felt comfortable in public I think it is also a self confidence thing

    • It could also be that you are in an environment or place where it is really not the ‘done’ thing. I imagine that in some smaller towns or particular suburbs, it would be more of a big thing than in others!

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  • I didn’t like nursing in front of friends or family. I found it easier to nurse in public when they weren’t around.

    • Thanks for commenting! It can be hard to breastfeed in front of people who know you. It’s great that you’re comfortable breastfeeding in public!

    Reply

  • great article! im always breast feeding in public, including the train! I was a bit nervous at first now as bub is a bit bigger its easy for him to latch on and I feel more relaxed.

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  • Thank you for the tips some days it just easier to feed in private

    • Yes! I agree! Especially when your baby is fussy or cranky, or when you’re both sleep deprived. It is much easier to get out and about when your baby is happy and you’re happy. Also some babies are total socialites and love getting out and about, and other babies are homebodies, and find outings stressful. Best to take it at your own pace and listen to your own instinct about what you and your baby need :)

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  • Thank you for the great article.

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  • I’ve breast feed both kids now and have not found any problems with doing it in public. I suggest wearing two tops. One flowing over the top of a singlet you can stretch down under your breast. The top one acts like a cover and the bottom one hides your new baby belly… If you’re not confident I would also suggest investing in a breast feeding cover. They’re perfect for being discreet.

    Reply

  • Thanks again for sharing this article; will share your 5 tips with friends; they will be needing them shortly! ;)

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  • nice article..

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  • Probably the most uncomfortable place I fed my son was on a plane when he was 3 months old. I was on the aisle but thankfully was seated next to another mum. I was discreet about it but it was hard when you have very little room. I had a few people across the row look up and give me a smile, which gave me confidence. I fed him until 16 months old, when I weaned him due to being pregnant again. I’m praying I can feed my second son at least as long as my first, if not longer. I never had a negative response to my feeding but I was always discreet and always wore clothing that minimized exposure.

    • Breastfeeding in a confined space on a plane when you’re stuck next to fellow passengers can be confronting. It’s a great way to help bubs decompress their ears when ascending or descending though! When my first was a toddler we were stuck on a runway for the best part of 12 hours unexpectedly, with only biscuits to eat – but because we were still breastfeeding he was happy the entire time! Such a blessing.

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  • I fed my last daughter (now 30) for 2 years everywhere without anyone ever seeing any exposed skin. I simply wore a maternity bra and tops that were slightly loose and down to about the tops of my legs, and simply slid my hand in the top to undo the section and lifted the front of my top while my daughter was laying in front of me. If we were in public while feeding and people really looked at us, as many do look at babies, they simply gave a gentle smile. No one was offended and no one ever commented as there was no breast exposure. If one chooses to be discreet, they can be, and then there is not usually any comments from the public. If one chooses to be indiscreet in a public place and have their whole breast showing even when their child is not latched on, then some people are likely to take offense and give an unfavourable comment, then the mother is either upset or abusive, as she has the right to feed in public. I have seen one such mother in a very busy shopping centre foodcourt, sitting at a table on a hot day, she had a dress with shoestring straps on, no bra, and slid the strap and one side of the dress down to her waist to feed he child. Then when the child was sitting and also leaning over her other shoulder to get their wind up, the breast was totally exposed – not being fed from at that time. This mum was quite aggressive when a couple of customers commented. As I said in the beginning, I fed my child for 2 years discreetly in public, and not one single person ever, ever complained.

    • Thanks for reading and sharing – it’s great to hear that you were able to breastfeeding for 2 years, and that you had no negative experiences nursing in public during that time.

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  • This is a great article. My children are all grown up now. . When I was breast feeding my 2nd child hubby and I were at a ball I thin . Anyway bubs got hungry and latched on quickly . I had a nice light evening jacket over the top of my wedding dress that I had lowered the neckline on no one took any notice. Another time I was feeding at the health centre and a new dad walked in and came over to me and said what a gorgeous bub I had and that his wife was having a few problems with breast feeding. He introduced her to me a little later on and we became the best of friends and still see each other 40 years on! I was a midwife and she was a nurse and we supported each other over the years.

    Reply
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