This is something I would never have done – an invitation is exactly that and no payment is required. If you can’t afford to invite children at your expense to your child’s birthday party, then don’t invite them. Have a small party at home that you can afford and take your child who obviously wants Korean food to a special birthday meal just her and close family. Personally I think it is the height of rudeness to ask for money in all circumstances.

I would be quite surprised if many people would attend a party at that price. It does indeed seem like a large cost for a teen party. It would even be a hard no for a party attended by adults with that price tag attached to the invite. It is ok to decline an invite.

That is pretty expensive for a teen dinner – if I was organising, it’d be something more casual, around $40, and I’d be specifying that no present was expected. But maybe it’s a favorite place for the birthday kid? I think you have to be honest with your daughter that it’s just not in your budget right now.

You’re not being un reasonable, $80 for a kids dinner is ridiculous and also to a Korean BBQ that is not everyone’s palate. I’d kindly decline and explain to your daughter that its a big cost for food that you may not enjoy and maybe offer to take the daughter and the birthday girl out for an Ice cream at a later date since she can’t make the birthday dinner.

I would just politely decline as that is very expensive. Are they expecting a gift too? Many kids that age may be fussy and not eating much from the menu so very iffy. Many families are finding finances difficult nowadays and you would think this would have crossed the parent’s minds.

I wouldnt be teaching your child to lie and say shes busy. Thats not a good example and at the same time is quite rude. Deal with it with grace and contact the girls Mum, thank her for including your daughter and say that you would have loved for her to attend but sadly at the moment things are not so great financially so you will sadly have to decline the invite.

Thats a lot of money to be paying for a birthday party. Paying for food i can kind of understand but i don’t think it’s fair to ask guests to pay for the karaoke room. At 15, your daughter should understand that you cant afford something if not maybe encourage her to get a part time job so she appreciates the value of money.

I wouldn’t be willing to pay this amount of money for a birthday party either. I would also not be willing to facilitate my child in organizing a party like this and ask the parents of the invited children to pay such a huge sum. I would have suggested to my child that she can organize a party like this herself when she is older and she and her friends have all their own income and may pay this themselves if they wish to do so.

That’s actually quite excessive in cost for a birthday at that young age. They can only eat so much and theres no guarantee they’ll even enjoy it! I totally get it and would have probably declined too. Times are tough and money is tight for most families right now to be spending that

Wow that is very expensive for a dinner, i don’t think i would be willing to pay that much for my daughter to go to a party for that price especially if money is tight. I can’t believe the mum organising the party thinks it is acceptable to ask parents to fork out that amount of money for a teen party.

You can put your daughter on a Plane to Tassie return for $99.00 it would be a much better thing for her to remember .I pat my dog and enjoy his company and we do not eat Korean

The only one being unreasonable is the Mum who’s throwing the party. I’m sure she’ll be expecting your daughter to bring a present as well. I’m sure not many other parents can afford it either. Explain to your daughter the reason why you can’t afford $80 for her to attend the party but maybe take her out somewhere special instead

Given the current cost of living challenges it is a bit presumptive to think $80 is reasonable for everyone to afford . Surely this is more the karaoke cost than the food? I think if that is wanted, then let the parents fund it.

It is expensive, but we are living in expensive times. I think it might be a bit much asking for contribution towards the cost of the karaoke room. The parents should be having to pay something for their own child’s party, but it is fair to ask for guests to pay for their meal. Having it supplied is not always a given and when we are talking more advanced tastes than nuggies and chips, it’s fair to expect.

Wow, that is a lot of money ! Personally I think that when you don not have the money to organise a party, then don’t organise a party or do not organise such an expensive party. You can not expect from the guests that they either can and or are willing such a large sum and you put an enormous amount of pressure on those who are invited and their parents

I empathize, especially as you want to help your daughter make friends. Is it too late to call the Mom, ask if she can do this elsewhere? For less? Remove karaoke? Or can you help in some way so that you’re not expected to pay $80? Reaching out quietly and nicely might achieve a favorable outcome. If not, maybe talk to your daughter about your financial situation, I think 15 is old enough to understand that Dad’s out of work, that choices must be made. Maybe she wants to pay for herself? Approached nicely hopefully a resolution can be found. Good luck.

These type of celebration invites are always a hard no for a variety of reasons. The expectation that everyone can afford $80 to attend a birthday dinner that they have been invited to is never ok. It seems like a very expensive option for a birthday celebration; particularly with many people finding the cost of living hard.

I agree, we can say no to our kids because we know our financial condition. Kids need to understand family circumstances too.
If they are over 16 and working and earning money then its their wish to spend money.
As a parent of teenager boy i can definitely say no to my son and he won’t say anything to me.
Children should understand our view as well.

I agree, this is a bit rich. Maybe at 18 a friend group would organise this sort of thing themselves and split the bill for the birthday girl, but 15? And the karaoke bit is too much as well.
I’m with the other commenter. These days I quite openly will say (to my mates) that “we can’t afford that right now, “ or even that it’s not where we have chosen to spend our play money. I make clear that their friendship is valued but I can’t make the dinner. I make plans to catch up for coffee with a nice thoughtful gift, often with a hand made component.
My husband and I almost never even spring for take out let alone restaurants, so I can’t imagine what sort of message it sends to blow $80 plus on a friends birthday when it’s more than we spend on each other or a yearly date night.
The teenager struggling to make friends component does complicated things, and in that case as a mum I would probably make it work, but I’d feel resentful to the birthday girls parents for the unrealistic expectations. The least they could do is cover karaoke and drinks or something.

A firm no we can’t afford it is my style why beat around the bush say it how it is.