My kids utterly refused to have anything to do with toilet training till they were four – and then they did it literally overnight. Every one of them.

We wait until our children are ready!
Both of my older two were in night time pull ups until they were 6! No shame in that! I have a child with a global developmental delay and I believe she may be in nappies full time for quite some time, who knows.
When my eldest was two and a half someone questioned why she was still in a nappy, we said she’s not ready yet. No further discussion necessary!
I’ve had to do a few wee tests on my global delayed child and doctors assumed that as she was over one she should be trained! They ask questions like when did she last wee! Damned if I know, she’s not even two yet. I do sit her on the potty until she does a wee (in order to get the samples) and she is quite happy there also, but it’s not her choice to be there so I won’t force it.

I really don’t understand how everyone can judge when it’s the toddler deciding what is right for them; I’ll never understand this at akl

I’m a solo parent for the most part. I have many battles every day. I have to chose them wisely. I also have to respect my child and his wants and needs. The toileting issue is not a battle I want to have. For about 12 months my recently turned 3yo has been learning about toileting. He’s at the stage where he can do it all (from put his seat on to wash his hands) but he doesn’t want to do this every day or even all of one day sometimes. I roll with that. I give him super praise when he does though because it is a big deal. It’s the last of the baby things I think.

I really needed to read this. Not only do i suffer constant anxiety about my 3 &1/2 yr old not being fully toilet trained but he refuses to give up the bottle( which is filled with a nutritionally complete formula) i have tried to hide the bottles but you can see the anxiety build up and just escalates when i give his 1yr old sister a bottle, to the point where he becomes violent. I’m not expecting a solution, just needing a vent and hopefully another mum to share my despair.

Children will use the toilet when they are ready. They all take different time frames.

I had issues with my youngest. Turns out she hated the potty and that was the problem. Once we got steps for the toilet she was fine.

I had both ends of the toilet training. My first refused to use the toilet but you’d catch him outside with his pants down and peeing on the lawn (only at home thank goodness). We couldn’t get him to use a potty till he was 3 1/2. My 2nd was potty trained by the time he was 18 months because he would open the toilet door when his Dad was in there and just copied him. All children are different and there is no “normal age” for them to be toilet trained.

THANK YOU so much for this. My twins are 4. One was keen and ready to toilet train at 3, the other has zero interest in it. I wasnt concerned but then at the 4 years vaccination and check up apt with a gp, the doctor made a HUGE deal about it….why wasnt i concerned/did he want me to send him off for investigations to check there wasnt a bigger problem/ what was my plan for managing this. I walked out feeling like I had been scolded. He isnt ready, that’s all there is to it.

We were lucky our son took to it easily — one of the only things that was easy enough for us in all honesty. We had a determined and concerted effort over a week where our lives revolved around it. Our son had to be toilet trained to attend 3 year old kinder, so we had worked towards making that happen. However, I really appreciate that kids work at their own rate. Your child was ready, when he was ready.

This article was so motivations for other mums like me who are having a tough time getting their child toilet trained. Thanks for sharing, I will surely take it a lil easy on me and my family now!

Same thing with mine – all of them refused to think about toilet training till they were 4, and then they were trained – no accidents – within a week.

Toilet training I would have to say is the one think I actually hated my first child was 3 years old my second child was 4 when they were toilet trained

This is really good to read, I’m thinking about starting toilet training really soon, but this gives me a bit of a sigh of relief if we don’t get it straight away. Thank you!

I know as a mother of 3 how difficult is this situation. Every child is different. But we need more patient on this stressful time.

I can understand the frustration and also the feeling of guilt and failure.
My baby is only 10 months so we arnt at the toilet training stage yet. But when it comes time I will try to not put too much pressure on either of us. It will happen when it happens

My son was 4yrs old too when he reached this milestone. Unlike the writer of this article I didn’t feel like a failure, nor did a put pressure on my son…knowing he would get there when he was ready.

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 29 Jun 2021 , 8:45 am

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  My youngest is 7yrs old and has Down Syndrome, by whom you commonly see lower muscle tone. She went still in pull ups to school at age 6. Then I bought Conni underwear and she does quite well during the during, although still has here and there pee and poo accidents. She wears a pull-up at night. I’m happy with her progress.

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    • • Ellen replied
      • 30 Jun 2021 , 4:26 am

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    Correction: “Then I bought Conni underwear and she does quite well during the during” should be “Then I bought Conni underwear and she does quite well during the day !

Every child is different and it doesn’t mean something is wrong or we are doing something wrong.

This was a good read. My daughter was toilet trained before 3 but she showed every sign of patience, readiness and excitement well before I started. My second was shown no interest and I have no intention to force her

My son was 3+ by the time he was toilet trained and he led us on the journey. We were adamant not to force him and wait until he felt comfortable and wanted to use the potty/toilet. It was a really quick transition