The only time I’ve found it okay to tell off some one else’s kids is when they’re in danger or going to endanger another child. Especially my child. I had to yell at another kid because he was going to kick push my then 1 year old down the slide.

When the reaction of your child was so strong, then I think you’re right with your suspicion that this mum spoke some very strong and negative words. When bad behaviour is directed at your own child and you know it is not true, it is certainly appropriate to say something about it, preferably in a neutral tone. However when you haven’t heard what was said it becomes a bit more difficult. Towards your son I would just comfort him and teach him that not everything is true what people say

It is never okay to bring your own opinions of other parents and families into your engagement with children – regardless of the situation. Whatever problem you have with a child’s parent, it is not their child’s fault. They are an innocent and should be treated as such and nasty comments should never be brought in to reprimanding a child, especially one that is not your own.

Better to speak with parents, teachers about any concerns.

Whether her child did anything wrong or not, that woman had no right to reprimand your child to the point that he was terrified. If you can’t put a stop to it and the school can’t or won’t step in, maybe you need to see about moving them to a different school. If not, you need to be there for both of your children otherwise it could affect them badly down the track. Wish you all the best and I hope your son is okay now

I can understand in the moment wanting to appease the other parent, but I think OP needs to stand up for her kids a bit more. Unless there was absolute certainty that the child did something naughty with malice and intent there is no way a stranger should cut sick at someone else’s kid. Op should have made it clear that any discussions go to her to follow through with her child. This whole clique talk nonsense imo.

I once told off a kid reflexively when he did something very naughty, clapped my hand over my mouth in horror when I realised what I’d done, and then turned around to see his mum behind me – laughing her head off, because I’d got in while she was opening her mouth to say the same things!

I would think if your child was that upset that he will now stay fairly close to you when this other woman is around so I wouldnt worry about it too much.
You could perhaps say something if she tries this sort of thing again and tell her that in future you would appreciate if she alerted you first so you can deal with any behaviour

As a parent, i understand wanting to protect your child and if someone knocked my child child over on purpose I would probably say hey that’s not nice please dont do that, or something along those lines BUT I would
never yell to scare a kid like that. To make
him shake and cry is terrible behaviour on
her part. I’d be furious! He’s 7 years old. That’s awful 🙁

The other parent can indeed be told to be an adult and behave and parent in an adult manner. Adults need to talk with other adults and parents and discuss issues. It is never ok for an adult, that is in a position of power as an adult to discipline another persons child.

Absolutely shouldn’t have even yelled or tried to parent another child that wasnt her own. If something happened, and she felt the need to speak up, she should have come to you as an adult and talk it out properly instead of doing more harm and yelling at another persons child

I agree with the comment below, next time ask the mother to speak to the parent and discuss that way. There is no need to yell at another child. I have had to do with with a parent friend when her daughter was making my daughter cry and now it is resolved and the girls play nicely together. It is all in the communication

I think in this case I’d simply ask the mother to direct her comments to me next time, and let me discipline my own child. And if she gets aggro, I’d make it clear that I’d consider another incident verbal assault…. I have sometimes told off other people’s kids, but usually only if I know the parents well.