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A bridesmaid-to-be says her best friend has forbidden her from getting pregnant before her wedding – which is still a year away.

The woman says her best friend is getting married in December 2023, and has asked her and another childhood friend to be bridesmaids.

“To provide a bit of context I had a really traumatic late miscarriage in August which my best friend knew about, and I was always open about wanting to trying to conceive again once me and my husband were ready,” she explained on Mumsnet.

“Fast forward to now and my best friend asked me to be bridesmaid last week which I was so happy about. I was talking to her today about being worried we would not conceive again or suffer another miscarriage and her only reply was, ‘You are not allowed to get pregnant before the wedding, I will be really angry with you.’

The conversation floored the woman, who says she hadn’t intended on waiting so long before trying to get pregnant again.

“The wedding is still a year away and I really don’t want to put our plans on hold for that long but I feel like now if I do get pregnant it will be overshadowed by the feeling of disappointing my best friend.

“I really don’t want any bad feelings around this potential pregnancy as I will be so lucky just to carry a healthy baby and I don’t want anything to get in the way of that happiness.”

She’s now wondering if she’s being unreasonable in feeling upset by her best friend’s demand.

What do you think? Have your say in the comments below. 

  • Your friend is a very selfish and entitled person. She has no right to place this expectation on you. I think I would have gone to her and said that I was very honoured and excited about being one of her bridesmaids but at the same time I could not put my life on hold because of it so therefore it might be best if she ask someone else.

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  • The friend is being really selfish to ask that. What does it matter if she’s pregnant or not? Just have a bigger dress. At least she has a friend who wants to be there on her big day.

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  • You’re not being unreasonable at all. Your friend is selfish and lacks compassion, considering what you have been through. Don’t put a hold on your life for others, it is not right for her to control you and your husband’s desires for a family. If you pregnant I hope you carry full term and have a healthy baby, and if you do, you friend will just have to get over herself and stop being unkind and selfish. All the best and blessings to you and your husband in your endeavour to become pregnant again.

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  • I think you need a new best friend. 🙁 This is completely unreasonable and selfish. I wish you all the best with your future pregnancy/family.

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  • REALLY?! I was in a very similar situation (I was the bridesmaid and I fell pregnant). The bride was frustrated that I fell pregnant and chose to try getting pregnant when they were engaged. I thought it was really unfair. She made me feel terrible.

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  • This seems super controlling and a big red flag for any friendship!

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  • It is totally unreasonable of your friend to make such a demand! This is the most ridiculous demand I’ve heard of from a bride. I wouldn’t wait that long to try to conceive. If she can’t be happy for you falling pregnant again after the trauma of your miscarriage, she doesn’t deserve to be your friend.

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  • I can’t believe someone would actually do that.. although I remember falling pregnant myself and my best friend at the time was getting married (I was the maid of honour) – she never seemed to happy that I was pregnant in the first place.. hence why we are no longer friends.

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  • This is just ridiculous. Maybe they shouldn’t have this ‘friend’ in their lives.

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  • How rude and not the best friend you think she is. Nobody gets to make demands on anybody about their body, pregnancy, etc. Perhaps consideration for her loss and hope to fall pregnant again should have been top of mind. I would decline to be in the wedding.

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  • Way out of line, not a request a best friend would make !

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  • Wow find some new friends, this bride has no right to impose such a rule
    What if she was struggling with infertility, you don’t know!

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  • Your friend is being VERY selfish

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  • Wow. Don’t stop living your life, a years is a long time to put things on hold. I was meant to be a bridesmaid for a good friend when I found out I was pregnant. She was happy for me. A true friend want you to live your life. This so called best friend sound a be unreasonable and selfish.

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  • That is TOTALLY unreasonable. “Don’t dye your hair a wacky color a week before the wedding” is a reasonable request. Waiting over a year to get pregnant is not.

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  • I think I would be getting on with my life and telling your friend that unless she was joking, then perhaps she should have someone else as her bridesmaid. It is an awful position to put you in and anyone else would just have to abstain from that request as ‘these things happen’ and it isn’t always at a time of one’s choosing.

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  • Doesn’t sound like a very good ‘best friend’. She should be happy for you and if you were to get pregnant, no matter when the timing is.

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  • Wow I don’t know what to say other than it is not her decision. This lady should be able to do what she wants when she wants to. This person is not a good friend.

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  • Wow..kinda not her decision to make..

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  • She doesn’t sound like a best friend to me, telling you not to get pregnant before her wedding. She sounds very controlling to me so maybe you should just thank her for the honour but let her know you won’t be putting your future pregnancy plans on hold just for her.

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